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JIM:<i> So, how do you like</i>
<i>this rain, Danny?</i>

4
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:25,984
DANNY:
<i>I'm sick of it, Jim.</i>

5
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,736
<i>Well, it seems</i>
<i>Mr. Sunshine should be</i>

6
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,571
<i>peeking through</i>
<i>those early</i> <i>morning clouds.</i>

7
00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:30,947
<i>Yeah, promises,</i>
<i>promises.</i>

8
00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:32,115
<i>Folks, tell you what.</i>

9
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:33,366
<i>We have a question</i>
<i>for you,</i>

10
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,368
<i>and the first caller</i>
<i>with the right</i> <i>answer wins...</i>

11
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,203
<i>An orthopedic tractor</i>
<i>seat cushion,</i>

12
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,747
<i>courtesy of</i>
<i>Handy's Hardware.</i>

13
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,124
<i>Okay, he was a recent</i>
<i>two-term president.</i>

14
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,250
<i>Of the Moose lodge?</i>

15
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:43,752
(CHUCKLING)
<i>No, no, little buddy.</i>

16
00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:45,962
<i>The ex-President</i>
<i>of the United States!</i>

17
00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:48,089
<i>And many say</i>
<i>the most popular</i> <i>in history.</i>

18
00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:50,175
<i>The first President to</i>
<i>be divorced in office.</i>

19
00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:52,093
<i>And he's moving</i>
<i>right here to...</i>

20
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,470
BOTH:
<i>Mooseport!</i> (PHONE RINGS)

21
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,013
<i>Okay, we got</i>
<i>a caller here.</i>

22
00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:56,264
<i>Judy Dunkle,</i>
<i>can you name him?</i>

23
00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:57,682
JUDY:<i> Would that</i>
<i>be Eagle Cole?</i>

24
00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:00,393
BOTH MEN:
<i>Monroe "Eagle" Cole!</i> (BELL DINGS)

25
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:02,312
<i>Hey, congratulations,</i>
<i>you're a winner, Judy.</i>

26
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:03,313
Morning, Handy.

27
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,773
Mornin', Kent.
Hey, looks good.

28
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:06,941
Yeah. Yeah.
Mornin', Harve.

29
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,777
Mornin', Kent.
Mornin', Harve.

30
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,195
Mornin', Handy.
Morning, Harve.

31
00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:12,071
Morning, Morris.
Morning, Handy.

32
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,407
Morning, Morris.
Morning, Reuben.

33
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:15,950
Morning, Handy!

34
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,202
Morning, Stu.
Morning, Fern.

35
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:18,411
Morning, Handy.
Mornin'.

36
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:21,748
HANDY:
New socks, Harve?

37
00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:22,791
Yeah!

38
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:23,958
Yeah, I like 'em.
I like 'em.

39
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,169
They go well
with each other.

40
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:27,378
Thanks.

41
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:28,671
Morning, Handy.

42
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,715
Oh, hi, Mandy.
I didn't see you there.

43
00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:32,258
Oh.

44
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:35,637
Ready, boys?
Get it together now. One, two...

45
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:38,848
Nice!

46
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:39,933
Good job!

47
00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:43,436
<i>♪ My job is</i>
<i>so small town</i>

48
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,564
<i>♪ Provides little</i>
<i>opportunity... ♪</i>

49
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,608
(HONKING)
Mornin'.

50
00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:49,943
Mornin', Irma.

51
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:53,696
Hey.
(BRAYING)

52
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:56,908
(BARKS)

53
00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:59,202
Hey, come on.

54
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,037
Come on, Plunger.
(BRAYING)

55
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,039
Hey, baby.
HANDY: Martha, good mornin'.

56
00:02:03,122 --> 00:02:05,166
6:30 is too
damn early.

57
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,210
It's not too early
for Bruce, right?

58
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,629
Bruce doesn't care
what time it is.

59
00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:11,673
Bruce got a little
morning breath goin'.

60
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,049
IRMA: Do you
believe this?

61
00:02:13,132 --> 00:02:15,844
I mean, he decides
to come a week early,

62
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:18,638
and they expect us
to get all that work done?

63
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:19,722
Well, he's
the President.

64
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,307
He's kinda used to
getting what he wants.

65
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,226
We'll get it done.

66
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,352
You know what I
like about Bruce?

67
00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:27,772
When he's here,
my nose looks normal.

68
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,858
Yeah, but his nose
fits his face, boss.

69
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:32,527
You're not
funny, Bob.

70
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,404
(SNORTS)
Let's go.

71
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:37,031
MAN: Yeah, who do
we have writing the speech for Tuesday?

72
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,950
Yeah. No.
I don't like him.

73
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,869
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

74
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:43,872
Yeah. Hold, please.

75
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,039
Hold on one second.
Hold on one second.

76
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:46,165
(MURMURING STOPS)

77
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,381
Copy that. Go!

78
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,595
Lucky bounce,
Mr. President!

79
00:02:58,678 --> 00:02:59,762
Well, you know
what they say,

80
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,307
"I'd rather be lucky
than good." (LAUGHS)

81
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:03,558
(ALL CLAPPING)

82
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:04,726
(CELL PHONE RINGS)

83
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:07,061
So, Mr. President,
what are you gonna do next?

84
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,063
Oh, so many
offers, Chi Chi,

85
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,481
it's an embarrassment
of riches.

86
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,567
First, there's
the Farewell World Tour.

87
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,903
Chance for me
to say good-bye and thank you

88
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,654
to all my
wonderful friends.

89
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,573
Writing my,
uh, memoirs.

90
00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:19,741
And then,
I'm doing something

91
00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:20,825
I haven't done
in 26 years,

92
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,411
putting my feet up,
reading a newspaper

93
00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:25,079
without interruptions.

94
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,456
Sounds good.

95
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:29,292
Settle back in
that beautiful place you have in Baltimore.

96
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,086
Uh, afraid
the First Lady got that one.

97
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,714
In the divorce.

98
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:35,673
Oh, right.

99
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,842
She got the best
years of my life.

100
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,803
But the one thing
she won't get is my title.

101
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:42,722
To the house?

102
00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:45,433
No. The title
"Mr. President."

103
00:03:45,516 --> 00:03:46,893
Oh!

104
00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,354
Unless donkeys fly,

105
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:52,607
they'll be calling me
"Mr. President" for the rest of my life.

106
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:54,067
She can have Baltimore.

107
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:56,361
I'm fine with my lovely
little summer place

108
00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:57,987
Mooseport.

109
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:05,411
(STIRRING MARCH PLAYS)

110
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,511
(BRAYING)

111
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,141
CONTROLLER:
<i>Four tango X-ray.</i>

112
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,143
<i>Hold short of</i>
<i>runway one-two.</i>

113
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,062
<i>Sorry, Sally,</i>
<i>we have the former</i>

114
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:33,314
<i>President of</i>
<i>the United States</i> <i>on final</i>

115
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,650
<i>We've got orders to</i>
<i>let him land first.</i>

116
00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,151
<i>Hold short.</i>
Damn it.

117
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,697
(BRAYING)

118
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,316
Everybody,
here we go! Stay sharp!

119
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,155
Welcome to the Mooseport
White House, Mr. President.

120
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,490
Thank you.
MAN: Step coming up...

121
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,200
All secure.
Ah!

122
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,536
Home, sweet home.

123
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,206
Ah, it gets
more magnificent every year.

124
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:33,624
Ah!

125
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,501
(BARKS)

126
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,087
Take the dog for
a pee, Grace. Ah!

127
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,091
Oh, Jesus.

128
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,843
It looks like
Tiger Woods' funeral.

129
00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:45,344
Mr. President,
I'd like to go over some of these...

130
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:46,763
Uh, hold on,
Bullard.

131
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,681
I have to
take a quick cabinet meeting.

132
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,350
(PHONE RINGS)

133
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:55,188
(WHISTLES<i> HAIL TO THE CHIEF)</i>

134
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,398
Get in there!

135
00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:58,524
Oh! Hey!

136
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,443
(GRUNTS, YELLS)

137
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:03,362
(GROANS SOFTLY)
Oh! Sir, sorry.

138
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,698
Sorry. Handy Harrison.
Uh, it's an honor...

139
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,408
Get his weapons.
Back off!

140
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:08,576
Got him!
You all right, sir?

141
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,411
I'm fine. I didn't
realize one of the workers...

142
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:11,913
I'm a worker.
I'm just one of the workers.

143
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,331
I'm sure he's been
checked out.

144
00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:14,582
I've been...
I've checked out.

145
00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:15,666
Oh, yes, sir,
everybody's been

146
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:16,793
totally cleared.
Okay, good.

147
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:17,877
I'll get outta here.

148
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,170
I'll... Let me...
Yeah.

149
00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,589
Boy, sorry.
And, uh... All clear.

150
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:23,800
I just wanna say

151
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,468
it's an honor to
work for you, really.

152
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:26,844
Thank you.
Thank you very much.

153
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,179
All right, just...

154
00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:30,765
Well, um...

155
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,728
I did come in here
for a reason.

156
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,105
Oh, right! Sure.

157
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,272
Go right ahead, yeah.

158
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,358
Sorry. Here.

159
00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:42,276
(TOOLBOX CLANKS)
(GROANS)

160
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,611
I'll get that.
I'll fix all that.

161
00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:44,946
(CLANKING)

162
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:46,572
It'll all be fixed.

163
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,909
(EXHALES)

164
00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:51,244
(EXHALES)

165
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:52,954
That was...
President.

166
00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:54,997
(INDISTINCT
CONVERSATION)

167
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,166
Well, at last!

168
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,543
Everyone, let's give
the President

169
00:06:58,626 --> 00:06:59,919
a little privacy,
shall we?

170
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:01,254
Right away.
Absolutely.

171
00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:03,422
We can go over
all these offers anytime, Mr. President.

172
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,675
Hold on! Hold on.
How's it coming?

173
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,426
We're finalizing dates
this week, sir.

174
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:11,597
26 speaking engagements,
14 days, 120 thou per.

175
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,224
And?

176
00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:15,101
Clinton got
a hundred thousand, sir.

177
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:16,310
And my autobiography?

178
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:18,187
Random House
is offering 14 mil.

179
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,564
Harper Collins
is at 13,

180
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,357
but is offering
a better ghostwriter.

181
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,441
(GROANS)
Here you go.

182
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:23,776
Excellent.
Keep working it.

183
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,112
We're up to 147
honorary doctorates,

184
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,948
93 offers to be on
the boards of Fortune 500 companies.

185
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,284
Soova Motors
is offering you $5 million

186
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:33,411
to do a car commercial
to air only in Norway.

187
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:37,123
And of course,
the big enchilada.

188
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,000
(DRUMROLL PLAYING)

189
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:40,668
The Monroe
"Eagle" Cole

190
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,253
Presidential Library.

191
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:45,173
(LAUGHING)
I like it.

192
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,841
MAN:
European rationalism

193
00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:49,468
interwoven with
American modernism.

194
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,096
A metaphor of
organic growth.

195
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,265
A man-made
mountain

196
00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:56,642
over which
soars the eagle.

197
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,311
Ah. It's fantastic.

198
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,396
Is it big enough?

199
00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:01,814
It's, uh,

200
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,733
40,000 square
feet, sir.

201
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:04,775
And?

202
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,819
Clinton's is
20,000, sir.

203
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,029
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Excellent.

204
00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:11,199
Mr. President,
it's the former First Lady, sir.

205
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,700
Shall I tell her
you're out?

206
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:13,868
No, no, no.

207
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,620
You excuse me?

208
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,289
Here he is, Mrs. Cole.

209
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,168
And the problem is?

210
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,753
As the man who
has just gotten

211
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,963
the most lucrative
speaking fees,

212
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,173
the biggest book deal,

213
00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:29,425
the most board
offers in history,

214
00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:30,801
I would think
you'd know.

215
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:31,969
Come on,
honey lamb.

216
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,596
You don't believe
all that nonsense, do you?

217
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,682
No, Eagle, I believe
it's just the tip of the iceberg.

218
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,517
Charlotte, lamb,
we settled.

219
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,103
(CHUCKLES)
Pioneers settle.

220
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,813
We rested.

221
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,273
Seven million,
and don't forget

222
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,983
you're selling
Mooseport. <i>Charlotte...</i>

223
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,860
<i>It's a vacation</i>
<i>home, Monroe.</i>

224
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,112
You thieving, conniving,
ungrateful...

225
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,573
It's been a pleasure
speaking with you, Mrs. Cole.

226
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,741
<i>We'll call you back.</i>

227
00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:54,700
Yeah, you too.

228
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,410
Try to talk some
sense into him.

229
00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:00,581
Seven million.

230
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,124
It's a negotiation.

231
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,751
You've handled
dictators.

232
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:04,961
You've handled
terrorists.

233
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,296
Terrorists were easier.
I, I swear to God.

234
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,506
(SIGHS)

235
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:09,966
(STAMMERS)

236
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,219
Breathe.

237
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:15,596
Let the lawyers handle it.

238
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:16,639
Breathe.

239
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:19,267
(SIGHING)

240
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,269
Oh. I could...

241
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,145
Oh, Grace,
you're a miracle.

242
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,397
Oh...

243
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,440
(TOILET FLUSHING)

244
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,442
Oh. Sorry.

245
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:29,485
No, no, no.

246
00:09:29,568 --> 00:09:30,611
Come on in.

247
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:31,696
Can I help you?

248
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:32,655
Yeah.

249
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,156
Well, I don't mean
to disturb you.

250
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,324
I'm-I'm all
done in here.

251
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,576
I mean, I'm done...

252
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:38,619
I'm done fixing it.

253
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:39,996
That-that flushing you heard,

254
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,415
that's work-related,
not personal.

255
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,041
Ah...

256
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,379
Hey, we're done.

257
00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:49,505
(DOG WHINING)

258
00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:50,840
What? Plunger!

259
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,341
(WHINING)

260
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,260
Plunger!
Plunger, stop it!

261
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:55,428
(WHINES)

262
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:56,679
Come here!

263
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,180
(BARKING)

264
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:00,683
What are you doing, huh?

265
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:01,767
(BARKING)

266
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,769
What? Hey, you trying
to get us both shot?

267
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,479
How many times
do I gotta tell you?

268
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,940
Keep that thing
in your... body.

269
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,025
Bad dog.

270
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,194
You just sit there

271
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,654
and let him do that
right in front of you?

272
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,323
I don't have cable, man.

273
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:25,499
(SIGHS)

274
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,168
Come on, boy.

275
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:28,753
Come on.

276
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,340
Get up. Get up. Get up.

277
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:37,011
(PLUNGER BARKING)

278
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,095
Sally!

279
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,514
(BARKING)

280
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,308
Spit it up, froggy.

281
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:43,392
Thank you.

282
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,227
Sally!

283
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,771
You stay off her
couch, Plunger.

284
00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:48,356
Sally!
(BARKS)

285
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,191
Sally! Hey, you up here?

286
00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,610
Guess what?
Downstairs.

287
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:54,070
Hey. Hey.
Guess what came?

288
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,196
Shh!
(WOMAN GROANS)

289
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:56,614
Jane Ellen's delivering.

290
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:57,698
Already?
Sally!

291
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:58,783
Wow. How's she doing?

292
00:10:58,866 --> 00:10:59,867
Hey, here comes
another one.

293
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,035
She's up to sextuplets.

294
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:02,536
Sextuplets?

295
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:03,537
(WOMAN GRUNTS)

296
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,873
Seven, right?
Six. Seven!

297
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,750
No, six, six.

298
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,757
(WHIMPERING)

299
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:19,845
Chester. Huh?

300
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,680
HANDY:
Aw, you did it, boy.

301
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,224
Yeah.

302
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,435
Oh, boy.
Oh, look at those paws.

303
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,603
It's gonna be giant.

304
00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:29,271
I know. Ooh!

305
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,698
Hey, uh, so guess
who I saw today?

306
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:40,741
Who?

307
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,243
Take a guess.
Handy?

308
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:44,203
Come on! Take one guess.

309
00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:45,246
The President.

310
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:46,705
(STAMMERS, SIGHS)

311
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,250
Oh, that's right, because
everybody knows he's here.

312
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:53,170
Okay. But not everybody gets
a check for 17,000 big ones.

313
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,255
Really?

314
00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:56,340
17,000.

315
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,800
Man, you know what?

316
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,927
I just... uh...

317
00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:01,846
I think I'm finally ready.

318
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:03,973
(DOG WHIMPERS)

319
00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:06,976
(NERVOUS CHUCKLE)

320
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,936
Where were those towels?

321
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:18,154
You're ready?

322
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,323
Y-Yeah. Yeah.

323
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,367
Ready to...?

324
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,952
To get the new truck.

325
00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,120
The... a big one.
A big one.

326
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:27,538
You know,
no more three trips

327
00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:28,873
to the lumberyard
for me.

328
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:29,957
It's gonna be great.

329
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,001
Dina, false alarm!

330
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,506
I'll take him.

331
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,508
I'm not sensin'
any enthusiasm.

332
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,718
SALLY:
I'm thrilled...

333
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:41,886
about your new truck.

334
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,053
Really.

335
00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:47,183
Hey, look.
You know what?

336
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,352
Tonight after the...
the party thing,

337
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,937
let's do something
to celebrate.

338
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,481
You know, let's...

339
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:54,648
let's just go out,
me and you.

340
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:56,275
A little romantic dinner.

341
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:57,485
Sure.

342
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,153
Yeah, it'll be great.

343
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:03,824
Okay. All right.

344
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,993
Dina, say hi to Fred
and the kids.

345
00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:08,746
All right.
I'll see you later.

346
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:10,831
Plunger, let's go!
(BARKS)

347
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,000
Well, he needs
a new truck

348
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:15,753
so he can load all that
crap that he's full of.

349
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,464
(LAUGHING)

350
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:22,384
(BAND PLAYING PATRIOTIC MARCH)

351
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,513
(CROWD MURMURING EXCITEDLY)

352
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:32,978
MAN:
There he is!

353
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,313
(SIRENS APPROACHING)

354
00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:38,359
(WHISTLING AND CHEERING)

355
00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:40,653
(BAND PLAYS<i> HAIL TO THE CHIEF)</i>

356
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,071
MAN: You look
great, sir!

357
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,949
Glad you're here,
sir!

358
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:46,075
Good to see you,
sir.

359
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,159
Over here!

360
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,285
Mr. President!

361
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,411
Over here,
Mr. President!

362
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,247
We're glad to have
you here, sir!

363
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,249
(CHEERING)

364
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,668
WOMAN:
Glad you're back home, Mr. President.

365
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:58,546
(SIGHS)

366
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:02,091
<i>♪ How happy you</i>
<i>made me, oh, Mandy</i>

367
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:05,386
<i>♪ You came and you gave</i>
<i>without taking ♪</i>

368
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:06,470
Here we are.

369
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,097
Ooh!
Mmm!

370
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,723
Morris! Morris!

371
00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:11,684
What?

372
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:12,768
He's here. He's here.

373
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:15,104
Al, "Hail to the Chief."
"Hail to the Chief."

374
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:17,565
(PLAYS FUNKY
<i>HAIL TO THE CHIEF)</i>

375
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:18,774
MAN: Sir, welcome!

376
00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:21,902
Fifteen minutes.

377
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,362
An hour.
Thirty.

378
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:24,863
Forty-five
and it's a deal.

379
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,240
Mm... okay.

380
00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:27,992
(WHOOPS)

381
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:30,035
(CROWD CHEERING)

382
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:34,290
(FEEDBACK SQUEALS)

383
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,583
(ALL GROANING)

384
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:36,750
Sorry.

385
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:39,044
(FEEDBACK FADES)

386
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,254
Good evening.

387
00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:42,298
I'd like to thank
everybody for coming.

388
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,633
Tonight is a
very special night

389
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:45,843
for Mooseport.

390
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,136
In the words
of Hunt Langley,

391
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:50,806
who put it so eloquently
in<i> The Moose Call...</i>

392
00:14:50,889 --> 00:14:53,434
"The Eagle has Landed!"

393
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:54,643
(LAUGHING)

394
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,312
(CHUCKLING)
How original.

395
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:58,105
On behalf of
the town council,

396
00:14:58,188 --> 00:15:00,649
let's give a big
Mooseport welcome

397
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,318
to our newest citizen,

398
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:06,530
Monroe "Eagle" Cole!

399
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:10,367
(CHEERING)

400
00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:11,869
Yea!

401
00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:15,080
Thank you. Thank you
very much. Thank you.

402
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,124
As you all know,
it's been over a year

403
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:19,043
since I vacationed
up here.

404
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,004
So first off, uh,
to the rumor that

405
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:25,466
I'm only here because
I lost my Baltimore house

406
00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:26,759
in my divorce...

407
00:15:27,926 --> 00:15:29,303
absolutely true.

408
00:15:29,386 --> 00:15:30,512
(LAUGHING)

409
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,514
Now I am a Mooseport
resident,

410
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,850
and even though I didn't get
a chance to meet many of you

411
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:36,518
when I was up here
as President,

412
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,896
I certainly hope to...
(DOOR CLANKS OPEN)

413
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:45,319
I certainly would, uh...

414
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:46,945
(MOUTHING)

415
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:50,032
...hope to get to know you
all a lot better.

416
00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:51,158
Maybe we could, uh,

417
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,369
hit a few birdies
or, uh, eagles...

418
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:56,121
(CROWD LAUGHING)
...at your local golf links.

419
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:59,750
Anyway, since I'm not here
to ask for money, uh...

420
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,085
(LAUGHING)

421
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,671
...uh, I don't know
what else to say

422
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,839
except to thank you
so much for your

423
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,467
hospitality and...

424
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,969
see you around the burg.

425
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,263
(CHEERING)

426
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,849
Let's go.

427
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,726
Thank you, Mr. President.
That was great.

428
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,521
Uh, could a few of us have
a word with you in private?

429
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:21,647
Uh, the President has

430
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,023
a limited
amount of time. Sorry.

431
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,566
This'll just take
a second, sir.

432
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,026
It's kind of urgent.

433
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,069
Certainly.

434
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:28,570
Ah, right this way.

435
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:29,530
Excuse me.
Hi...

436
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:36,870
Mr. President, I'm sorry
the timing isn't better,

437
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,163
but it seems that your arrival

438
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,416
has coincided
with something of a crisis.

439
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,918
Folks, I'm
the Crisismeister.

440
00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:44,044
Shall I call
the Marines?

441
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,838
(LAUGHING)

442
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,841
Would you care to sit down,
please, sir?

443
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:50,968
Thank you.

444
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:54,596
Mr. President,
Amos Harmon, our beloved mayor

445
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,598
of 24 years,
just passed away.

446
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,016
Oh, I'm sorry
to hear that.

447
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,186
Anyway, sir, the town
council met an hour ago

448
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:05,023
in an emergency session
and voted unanimously

449
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:08,777
to beseech you, sir,
to be our mayor.

450
00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:11,071
Your mayor?

451
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:13,574
(LAUGHING)
Mayor...

452
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:14,908
(LAUGHING)

453
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:17,786
(LAUGHING) That's good.

454
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:19,955
Yes, sir.

455
00:17:20,038 --> 00:17:21,331
You see, before he died,

456
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:24,334
Mayor Harmon was running,
as always, unopposed.

457
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,670
And with the filing
deadline tomorrow,

458
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,297
we were having a dilly
of a time

459
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:29,590
trying to find
a replacement.

460
00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:31,133
And then Reuben
here pipes up

461
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,135
and says, "Why not
get the President?"

462
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,137
I said, "Get the president"!

463
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,889
In our 240-year history,

464
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:39,725
there would be
no greater honor bestowed on our town.

465
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,393
To have
as our mayor, the most popular

466
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:42,561
president
in history.

467
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,813
Popular, with approval
ratings in the 70s.

468
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:45,981
80s, actually.

469
00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:47,232
Uh, 85.
Eighty-five.

470
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,400
Eighty-five.
Eighty-five.

471
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,610
Unbelievable.

472
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:53,155
Mr. President, you
simply must say yes.

473
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:54,531
Well, uh, folks, uh, listen.

474
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:57,493
Even though I'm not in
the Oval Office any longer,

475
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:58,660
I do have plans.

476
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:00,621
MORRIS:
Sally,

477
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:03,040
please, we're
in the middle of something here.

478
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:06,126
Sorry, I, uh, was just...

479
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,836
...getting my coat.
I'll come back.

480
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,590
Uh, hold-hold on a second.
Sally, is it?

481
00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:12,591
Yes.

482
00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:15,010
Sally, you, uh, seem
like an engaged citizen.

483
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:17,888
Uh, what would you think
about my being mayor?

484
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,015
Mayor? Really?

485
00:18:20,098 --> 00:18:21,517
And it was my idea!

486
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:23,977
Um...

487
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,354
I think you should do it.

488
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:26,355
(EXHALES)

489
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,148
And then maybe
you could do something

490
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:30,442
about that landing situation.

491
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,277
The landing situation.

492
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,320
Uh, yeah.

493
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:36,490
I'm a veterinarian and
I had a critically ill

494
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:38,826
donkey in my helicopter
this morning,

495
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:39,993
and I almost lost her

496
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:44,832
because the president
just had to land first.

497
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:47,501
Oh, I'm-I'm terribly sorry,
I didn't realize that.

498
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:48,877
That must've been
a procedural thing.

499
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,546
Standard
security protocol, sir.

500
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:51,880
Standard security.

501
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,715
Maybe, if you were mayor,

502
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,634
you could
do something about that.

503
00:18:56,134 --> 00:18:57,469
Hmm. Absolutely.

504
00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,472
Uh, things like that
shouldn't happen.

505
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:01,723
I appreciate your opinion.

506
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,600
It's really, really nice
to meet you, Mr. President.

507
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,644
Nice to meet you,
too, Sally.

508
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,689
Take care.

509
00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,023
Thank you.

510
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:13,986
Well, Mr. President?

511
00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:15,863
I'm sorry, gentlemen,
it's just...

512
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,698
Hold on a second
there, Bullard. Maybe...

513
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,241
Excuse me, Mr. President.

514
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,076
I suggest that we give them

515
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:22,619
an answer tomorrow.

516
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,329
Gentlemen,
he'll sleep on it.

517
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,248
Yes, I'll-I'll-
I'll sleep on it.

518
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:29,001
So we'll hear from you
in the morning, sir?

519
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:30,085
You have my word.

520
00:19:30,168 --> 00:19:31,879
You have the Eagle's word.

521
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,256
Thank you,
Mr. President.

522
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:39,928
By God, that's just
the way he sounds on TV!

523
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:43,182
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

524
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,143
Hey. Sorry.

525
00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:47,978
Connelly's septic tank
broke again.

526
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,730
Ah, stood up
for a septic tank.

527
00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:51,732
No. No.
You look good.

528
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,317
Yeah?
Yeah.

529
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,653
Ew!
What?

530
00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,947
You stink.
Too much cologne? Yeah?

531
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,742
No, not enough... Did you
think about a shower?

532
00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:04,328
I... yes, I did, but then
I would've been more late,

533
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,705
and I didn't think
it was bad.

534
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:08,040
You know how you can't
smell your own smell.

535
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,959
I think that's what we kind of
got going on here... yeah.

536
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,961
So is this thing over?

537
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,213
It's over for me.

538
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,257
Hey. What do you want to do?
You want to get something to eat?

539
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:19,551
No, I'm not that hungry.
I think I'm just going to go home.

540
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,678
Wait. What? Come on.
Is it that bad?

541
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:24,932
I'll take a shower.
We can take a shower.

542
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,350
I already took a shower.

543
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,060
Well, come on, Sally, what?
What's the problem?

544
00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,394
(GROANS)
I don't know.

545
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,063
I'm just...

546
00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:33,398
You know, for
the past six years...

547
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:37,653
Today, when you
said you were...

548
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:42,658
I don't know, Handy.

549
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:45,369
Why don't you tell me
what the problem is.

550
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:47,913
I don't have a problem.

551
00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,499
Well, that's the problem.

552
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,502
Well, what do you...
I'll see you tomorrow.

553
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,507
(SIGHS)

554
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,008
I should have showered.

555
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:04,221
(SNIFFS)

556
00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:05,472
Your newspapers.

557
00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,557
Good morning.
Beautiful, Ramona. Beautiful.

558
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,810
Today's agenda, ma'am.
Thank you, John.

559
00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:11,436
Perfect, Smitty.
Mm-hmm.

560
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,688
BULLARD:
For God's sake,

561
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:14,982
save me
from Mooseport, Rod.

562
00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:16,400
Well, how about a job
at the Pentagon?

563
00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:18,652
(WHISTLING)
Gotta go.

564
00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:20,070
Morning,
Mr. President.

565
00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:22,948
(WHISTLING)

566
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:27,619
(CHUCKLING)

567
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:28,787
Good morning. Good morning.
Good morning.

568
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:31,206
Oh, Smitty,
thank you so much. Sir.

569
00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:33,250
What's on tap today?

570
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:34,710
Read the paper.

571
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:36,211
Finally.
Grace, you're wonderful.

572
00:21:36,294 --> 00:21:37,379
And then you can take

573
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:39,047
that jog you've
been wanting to take.

574
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,882
Mm, fabulous.

575
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,509
Oh, uh...

576
00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:43,885
about that mayor thing.

577
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,470
Oh, don't worry,
Mr. President.

578
00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:46,471
We'll take care of it.

579
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:47,931
"While the president
is flattered,

580
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:49,307
"he respectfully declines.

581
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:51,059
"His schedule
precludes him..."

582
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,644
Actually,
I'm considering it.

583
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:54,688
Sir?

584
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:56,898
Yeah, why not?

585
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,317
Largely ceremonial.

586
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,860
Any work involved,
you can do.

587
00:21:59,943 --> 00:22:01,319
I mean, we run
everything else

588
00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:03,488
we're involved in,
why not Mooseport?

589
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:04,740
Well, sir, actually...

590
00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:06,366
As your first move
out of office,

591
00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,285
you... become mayor?

592
00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:10,203
It's, uh, beneath you.

593
00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:12,164
And from
a PR standpoint it's...

594
00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:13,540
Fantastic.

595
00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:16,918
"For the love
of public service, Eagle Cole,

596
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:19,171
"the most beloved president
since Jack Kennedy,

597
00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:22,090
"agrees to help." Perfect.

598
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:23,508
And don't forget
the Wicked Witch

599
00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:24,718
of the West Wing.

600
00:22:24,801 --> 00:22:26,011
She can't claim
this is a vacation house

601
00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:27,471
if I'm the mayor,
now can she?

602
00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:29,056
True.

603
00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:31,099
Wait until the filing
deadline and then, uh,

604
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:32,434
call them
with the good news.

605
00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:34,561
Yes, sir.

606
00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:37,898
We're... going to
run "Turdport."

607
00:22:38,648 --> 00:22:40,400
<i>♪ For...</i>

608
00:22:40,484 --> 00:22:42,319
<i>♪ He's a jolly good fellow</i>

609
00:22:42,402 --> 00:22:44,529
<i>♪ For he's</i>
<i>a jolly good fellow</i>

610
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:46,365
<i>♪ For he's a jolly good</i>

611
00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:49,701
<i>♪ Fellow...</i>

612
00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:52,788
<i>♪ Which nobody can deny ♪</i>

613
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:54,581
Thank you, thank you
very much, gentlemen.

614
00:22:54,664 --> 00:22:56,458
I won't let
Mooseport down.

615
00:22:56,541 --> 00:22:58,460
You have
the Eagle's word, okay?

616
00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:00,462
Oh, thank you,
Mr. President.

617
00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:01,505
Good-bye, now.

618
00:23:01,588 --> 00:23:02,589
MONROE:<i> Bye.</i>

619
00:23:02,672 --> 00:23:03,632
It was my idea!

620
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:04,716
Congratulations, Kent.

621
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:05,801
Congratulations, Stu.
Oh, Morris.

622
00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:07,803
You might want
to read this.

623
00:23:10,305 --> 00:23:12,015
Holy crap!

624
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:13,767
MORRIS:
Thank you so much

625
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:15,102
for meeting with us
again, sir.

626
00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:16,353
When we talked last night,

627
00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:18,563
uh, nobody else
had put in for mayor.

628
00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:20,607
Well, unbeknownst
to us, Irma Brisker,

629
00:23:20,690 --> 00:23:23,401
our town registrar,
took it upon herself

630
00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,403
to persuade
Harold Harrison...

631
00:23:25,487 --> 00:23:27,239
You may know him
as Handy Harrison, sir.

632
00:23:27,322 --> 00:23:28,490
He runs
the hardware store.

633
00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:30,617
Doing some construction work
on your home, I believe.

634
00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:32,452
...uh, to run
for mayor as well.

635
00:23:32,536 --> 00:23:33,578
Well, okay then.

636
00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:34,788
You've got your mayor.

637
00:23:34,871 --> 00:23:36,289
If he wants it,
he can have it.

638
00:23:36,373 --> 00:23:37,374
Uh, Mr. President, sir,

639
00:23:37,457 --> 00:23:39,042
it's a touch more
complicated than that.

640
00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:40,168
What's complicated?

641
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:41,336
Well, it's just that...

642
00:23:41,419 --> 00:23:42,754
You see, sir, it kind of

643
00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:44,714
got out in the press
that you're both in.

644
00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:46,174
What press?

645
00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:47,300
Well...

646
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:48,510
When the deadline passed,

647
00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:50,387
we called, uh, Hunt Langley
down at<i> The Moose Call.</i>

648
00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:53,431
He said when this got around,
it would be national news.

649
00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:55,225
Well, of course
it'll be national news.

650
00:23:55,308 --> 00:23:57,185
Press will say I'm trying
to squash a bug.

651
00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:58,520
You can rest assured, sir,

652
00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:01,481
that not one of them
said anything like that. Did they, Stu?

653
00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:02,899
No, sir.
None of them said that.

654
00:24:02,983 --> 00:24:04,651
Couple of them called
it David and Goliath,

655
00:24:04,734 --> 00:24:05,944
but none of them
said that.

656
00:24:06,027 --> 00:24:07,654
What do you mean "them"?
Who's them?

657
00:24:07,737 --> 00:24:08,947
NBC.
CBS.

658
00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:10,866
FOX. It was
really exciting.

659
00:24:10,949 --> 00:24:12,075
Uh...
(GASPS)

660
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:14,202
Wait, are you telling me
the entire country

661
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:15,662
thinks that I'm running
for mayor

662
00:24:15,745 --> 00:24:18,748
against the man
installing my toilets?

663
00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:21,459
But, sir,
you said "Eagle's word."

664
00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:23,003
Aw, hell!

665
00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,467
Stop eating
the fertilizer.

666
00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:30,552
Go on over there.

667
00:24:30,635 --> 00:24:31,761
WOMAN:
Look, it's the president!

668
00:24:31,845 --> 00:24:32,762
MAN:
He's here!

669
00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:34,514
Which car is he in?
Oh, yeah, he's here.

670
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:35,682
(BELL DINGS)

671
00:24:35,765 --> 00:24:38,643
Company's coming,
and Bruce is out again.

672
00:24:38,727 --> 00:24:39,686
What is this?

673
00:24:39,769 --> 00:24:41,354
Uh, that's Bruce
the Moose, sir.

674
00:24:41,438 --> 00:24:44,191
It's a rescued animal.
Handy's pet.

675
00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:45,775
Shouldn't it be
in a zoo?

676
00:24:46,526 --> 00:24:48,361
(BELL DINGS)

677
00:24:51,781 --> 00:24:54,034
Afternoon, Mr. President.
Oh, hello, Handy.

678
00:24:54,117 --> 00:24:55,076
Can we help you
with anything?

679
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,453
Is everything okay
with that water heater?

680
00:24:56,536 --> 00:24:58,538
Everything is fine.
I just wondered if you had a minute.

681
00:24:58,622 --> 00:24:59,581
Hey, I'm Bob.

682
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:00,707
I'm working
for you, too.

683
00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:01,875
Bob, nice to see you.

684
00:25:01,958 --> 00:25:04,461
I'm sorry, Mr. President.
Bob, Martha and Irma.

685
00:25:04,544 --> 00:25:05,587
Mr. President.
Martha.

686
00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:06,671
Irma.
Paint.

687
00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:08,465
Pipes.
Wood products.

688
00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:10,675
Like your last two
Cabinet appointments.

689
00:25:10,759 --> 00:25:11,885
(CHUCKLES)

690
00:25:11,968 --> 00:25:13,762
Handy, aren't you gonna
introduce me?

691
00:25:13,845 --> 00:25:15,430
Oh, uh, sorry.
This is Mandy.

692
00:25:15,513 --> 00:25:16,431
Hi.

693
00:25:16,514 --> 00:25:19,059
Mandy and Handy, uh...
how cute.

694
00:25:19,142 --> 00:25:20,101
Oh...

695
00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:22,187
Uh, could we speak
privately for a moment?

696
00:25:22,270 --> 00:25:24,272
Yeah, sure. What...

697
00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:25,649
That's my office
right over there.

698
00:25:25,732 --> 00:25:26,900
Outstanding.

699
00:25:30,153 --> 00:25:31,112
Excuse me.

700
00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:33,657
I have a private meeting
with the president.

701
00:25:34,699 --> 00:25:36,576
(LOW TRILLING)

702
00:25:41,831 --> 00:25:43,625
Iguana on
your left, sir.

703
00:25:47,629 --> 00:25:48,797
(LAUGHS)

704
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,632
Ooh, what a dump.

705
00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:51,800
Well, sir,

706
00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:53,301
this is it.

707
00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:55,387
Yeah. Oh, it's cozy.
Nice office. Yeah.

708
00:25:55,470 --> 00:25:56,346
Thank you.

709
00:25:56,429 --> 00:25:57,514
How can I help you,
Mr. President?

710
00:25:57,597 --> 00:25:59,266
Well, Handy, as I'm
sure you know,

711
00:25:59,349 --> 00:26:01,810
we've both put in for mayor.
No, I didn't know that, sir.

712
00:26:01,893 --> 00:26:03,728
You didn't know that?
I mean, I knew that I put in.

713
00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:06,856
I thought I was just doing
the town a favor, that's all.

714
00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:08,566
And then, you know, I thought
I was running all by myself.

715
00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:10,944
Well, as you can see, we
have a bit of a situation.

716
00:26:11,027 --> 00:26:14,030
Yeah, I... It's... Hmm.
We got a bit of a pickle here.

717
00:26:14,114 --> 00:26:15,615
Bit of a pickle, exactly.

718
00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:17,701
So I was thinking that
one of us should withdraw.

719
00:26:17,784 --> 00:26:20,120
Now, I would be happy
if it were me.

720
00:26:20,203 --> 00:26:22,080
Lord knows I have
nothing left to prove,

721
00:26:22,163 --> 00:26:24,624
much less being
the mayor of anything,

722
00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:26,876
but, uh, I have a PR problem.

723
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,671
Oh, oh. A PR prob...
Is it serious?

724
00:26:29,754 --> 00:26:31,673
Well, it got out
to the press

725
00:26:31,756 --> 00:26:33,174
that I had given my word.

726
00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:34,342
Oh, yeah, right.

727
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:37,304
You know, "You have
the Eagle's word."

728
00:26:37,387 --> 00:26:38,847
Right, like on TV. Mm-hmm.

729
00:26:38,930 --> 00:26:40,515
TV. Exactly.

730
00:26:40,598 --> 00:26:44,060
So, um, well, look, uh,

731
00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:45,395
you're a golfer,
right?

732
00:26:45,478 --> 00:26:46,980
Are you any good?

733
00:26:47,063 --> 00:26:48,315
I get around.
I get around.

734
00:26:48,398 --> 00:26:50,150
I'm like a ten handicap,
maybe, on a good day.

735
00:26:50,233 --> 00:26:52,444
Ten? Me, too.
We should knock it around sometime.

736
00:26:52,527 --> 00:26:54,195
Yeah, that would be an honor,
Mr. President.

737
00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:57,741
Well, if you're trying to make
a name for yourself in golf,

738
00:26:57,824 --> 00:26:59,868
you wouldn't,
uh, start off by...

739
00:27:01,077 --> 00:27:03,413
Oh. Nice shot.

740
00:27:03,496 --> 00:27:04,956
...challenging Tiger Woods.

741
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,249
No, you'd start small.

742
00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:07,500
Local tournaments.

743
00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:08,877
Uh, same in politics.

744
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,504
You don't start a political
career by running against

745
00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:13,840
the former president
of the United States.

746
00:27:13,923 --> 00:27:15,008
Fine.

747
00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:16,426
Fine?

748
00:27:16,509 --> 00:27:18,219
It was a privilege to run.

749
00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:20,221
It's a privilege to withdraw.

750
00:27:20,305 --> 00:27:22,265
(DOOR OPENING)

751
00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:24,142
Well, it's settled.
What's settled?

752
00:27:24,225 --> 00:27:28,563
It turns out we both put in
for mayor, so I just withdrew. Chicken.

753
00:27:28,646 --> 00:27:30,357
I'm glad I could help
with that PR problem, sir.

754
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,943
Bruce is out of his pen again.
Did anybody happen to notice that?

755
00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:35,862
No, he probably
chewed through the rope.

756
00:27:35,945 --> 00:27:37,030
Bob, why don't you
put him back.

757
00:27:37,113 --> 00:27:38,448
SALLY:
I already did it.

758
00:27:38,531 --> 00:27:39,657
Oh...

759
00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:41,117
Excuse me,
I'm sorry.

760
00:27:41,201 --> 00:27:43,203
Sally, the president.

761
00:27:43,286 --> 00:27:44,371
We just had a meeting.

762
00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:46,247
Yeah, we met last night,
when I was being stood up.

763
00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:48,541
Um, look.

764
00:27:48,625 --> 00:27:49,834
I'm sorry
if I was rude to you.

765
00:27:49,918 --> 00:27:51,544
I-I'm...
I'm really embarrassed.

766
00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:53,338
Rude?
Don't be silly. No.

767
00:27:53,421 --> 00:27:56,591
In fact, what you said helped
convince me to be mayor.

768
00:27:56,674 --> 00:27:57,634
Really?

769
00:27:57,717 --> 00:27:59,094
So you're going to do it?

770
00:27:59,177 --> 00:28:00,637
You're going
to be our mayor. Great.

771
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:01,846
It is, isn't it?

772
00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:03,473
I'm so glad
I ran into you.

773
00:28:03,556 --> 00:28:05,517
You know, I've decided
to get a dog.

774
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,644
Oh, I thought you
already had a dog.

775
00:28:07,727 --> 00:28:08,853
Well, yes, I do.

776
00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:10,438
A great animal.
A, uh, Shitzu.

777
00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:11,398
Westie.

778
00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:13,191
Uh, Westie
needs a friend,

779
00:28:13,274 --> 00:28:14,943
and I thought if
you were available,

780
00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:17,570
uh, let's say, oh,
tomorrow night,

781
00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:19,280
perhaps, uh, we
could discuss it

782
00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:20,448
over, uh, dinner.

783
00:28:20,532 --> 00:28:21,574
Dinner?

784
00:28:21,658 --> 00:28:23,159
(CLEARS THROAT)

785
00:28:23,243 --> 00:28:24,536
Yeah. I could
really use

786
00:28:24,619 --> 00:28:27,372
your, uh, professional
advice on this.

787
00:28:27,455 --> 00:28:28,540
Really? My advice?

788
00:28:28,623 --> 00:28:29,582
Mm-hmm.

789
00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,626
Uh, okay.
Well, yeah.

790
00:28:31,709 --> 00:28:32,961
Dinner would be fine.

791
00:28:33,044 --> 00:28:35,255
Great, looking
forward to it.

792
00:28:35,338 --> 00:28:36,881
My people will get in touch
with your people.

793
00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:40,718
I don't have people, but
I could give you my number. Uh-huh.

794
00:28:40,802 --> 00:28:42,887
Uh, well, my people
will get your number

795
00:28:42,971 --> 00:28:45,140
and, uh, we'll
set up a time.

796
00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:49,227
And I'm sure whatever time
we do set, you'll be on time.

797
00:28:49,310 --> 00:28:50,728
MONROE:
Absolutely.

798
00:28:50,812 --> 00:28:52,147
Looking forward to it.

799
00:28:54,357 --> 00:28:56,359
See you on the links, sir.

800
00:28:56,443 --> 00:28:57,944
And thanks again
for being so helpful.

801
00:28:58,027 --> 00:28:59,279
Yeah, right.

802
00:28:59,362 --> 00:29:00,697
(DOOR BELL TINKLES)

803
00:29:01,614 --> 00:29:03,241
You mean rolling over.

804
00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:11,332
Sally...

805
00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:12,542
You know,
Bruce is a baby.

806
00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:14,878
Babies like
to chew things like rope.

807
00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:19,215
Um...

808
00:29:19,299 --> 00:29:20,341
Ooh-ooh.

809
00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:21,468
Okay.

810
00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:24,554
(CLEARS THROAT)

811
00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:27,682
Sally...

812
00:29:27,765 --> 00:29:29,726
uh, is it me, or did you

813
00:29:29,809 --> 00:29:34,022
just get asked out
by that president guy?

814
00:29:34,856 --> 00:29:35,982
Yes, I think I did.

815
00:29:36,065 --> 00:29:38,776
Probably couldn't
chew through this, right?

816
00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:41,654
And-And is it me,
or did you just say

817
00:29:41,738 --> 00:29:43,865
yes to the president guy?

818
00:29:45,366 --> 00:29:46,618
Yes, I think I did.

819
00:29:48,495 --> 00:29:49,579
Look-Look, Sally.

820
00:29:49,662 --> 00:29:50,872
I'm sorry
that I was late, okay,

821
00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:53,124
but you can't
date the president because of that.

822
00:29:53,208 --> 00:29:55,126
Do you really think
that's the reason?

823
00:29:55,210 --> 00:29:56,794
Why, then?

824
00:29:57,629 --> 00:29:58,796
Why not?

825
00:30:00,465 --> 00:30:02,050
Here, use this.

826
00:30:03,092 --> 00:30:05,345
(DOOR BELL TINKLING)

827
00:30:09,390 --> 00:30:10,850
Shut up!

828
00:30:10,934 --> 00:30:12,560
(DOOR BELL TINKLING)

829
00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:14,020
Sally, I want to talk to you!

830
00:30:14,103 --> 00:30:15,730
Sally, I want to talk!

831
00:30:15,813 --> 00:30:17,690
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

832
00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:19,526
MONROE:
It was very nice of you.

833
00:30:19,609 --> 00:30:21,903
WOMAN:
Say "bye-bye," honey.

834
00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:24,322
Mr. President!

835
00:30:25,448 --> 00:30:26,824
Yes, Handy,
what is it?

836
00:30:26,908 --> 00:30:28,701
(HORN HONKING)

837
00:30:28,785 --> 00:30:29,953
Mr. President!

838
00:30:30,036 --> 00:30:31,412
Thank you
very much.

839
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,122
Uh-huh.

840
00:30:38,628 --> 00:30:39,879
I can't do it, sir.

841
00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,714
I can't drop out
of the mayor race.

842
00:30:42,924 --> 00:30:43,883
Excuse me?

843
00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:46,261
I... I don't have
the Eagle thing like you,

844
00:30:46,344 --> 00:30:48,221
but I'm a man
of my word, too.

845
00:30:48,304 --> 00:30:52,016
And every man's
word's important, isn't that true?

846
00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:54,102
Does he want money?
What-What-What is it?

847
00:30:54,185 --> 00:30:55,270
If you stay in this race,

848
00:30:55,353 --> 00:30:59,107
then I'm sure you're
going to slaughter me, but...

849
00:30:59,190 --> 00:31:02,819
I'm running
for the mayor of Mooseport.

850
00:31:05,822 --> 00:31:08,324
(SCREAMS)

851
00:31:08,408 --> 00:31:09,867
Is he losing his mind?

852
00:31:15,164 --> 00:31:16,249
(SIGHS)

853
00:31:16,833 --> 00:31:18,710
(EXHALES)

854
00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:21,004
What just happened?

855
00:31:21,087 --> 00:31:23,214
You're running
against the president.

856
00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:25,174
And your girlfriend's
dating him.

857
00:31:25,758 --> 00:31:26,968
Mm-hmm.

858
00:31:27,552 --> 00:31:29,429
I repeat, "Mm-hmm."

859
00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:33,808
No, Larry,
the president has no comment.

860
00:31:33,891 --> 00:31:36,311
No, no comment.
Thank you.

861
00:31:36,394 --> 00:31:39,647
Uh, that's all the networks,
<i>60 Minutes,</i> and Larry King.

862
00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:41,065
The handyman's girlfriend?

863
00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:43,192
His girlfriend?
Why didn't you tell me?

864
00:31:43,276 --> 00:31:44,527
I'm gonna look
like an idiot.

865
00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:45,612
I tried to tell you,

866
00:31:45,695 --> 00:31:46,654
Mr. President,
remember?

867
00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:48,239
Well, why didn't you
try harder?

868
00:31:48,323 --> 00:31:50,783
What am I supposed
to do now, apologize?

869
00:31:50,867 --> 00:31:52,493
Back down?

870
00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:53,995
You want call Bert Langdon?

871
00:31:54,078 --> 00:31:55,163
For what?

872
00:31:55,246 --> 00:31:56,623
I don't need
a campaign manager for this.

873
00:31:56,706 --> 00:31:58,791
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello...

874
00:31:59,751 --> 00:32:01,669
One second.
Mr. President?

875
00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:03,588
Bert Langdon
on line one.

876
00:32:06,841 --> 00:32:09,177
Bert, what a coincidence.
What's shaking?

877
00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:12,180
BERT:<i> That's what I was</i>
<i>gonna ask you, Eagle.</i>

878
00:32:12,263 --> 00:32:13,931
It's deader
than Nixon down here.

879
00:32:14,015 --> 00:32:15,767
I'd be happy
to roll up my sleeves

880
00:32:15,850 --> 00:32:17,268
and come up there
if you want.

881
00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:18,853
Bert, I'm running
against my plumber.

882
00:32:18,936 --> 00:32:20,271
Is there something
I don't know?

883
00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:21,981
You watching FOX News?

884
00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:25,318
<i>The results</i>
<i>are quite interesting.</i>

885
00:32:25,401 --> 00:32:26,986
<i>The poll, of course,</i>
<i>is preliminary,</i>

886
00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:30,239
<i>but it does show Harrison</i>
<i>with surprising strength.</i>

887
00:32:30,323 --> 00:32:33,284
REPORTER:
<i>There's an 8% margin of error,</i> <i>and it's still early,</i>

888
00:32:33,368 --> 00:32:36,037
<i>but it looks to be very close.</i>

889
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:37,330
ANCHOR:
<i>Seems to me the president</i>

890
00:32:37,413 --> 00:32:39,707
<i>has got himself</i>
<i>in a bit of a horse race.</i>

891
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:41,376
Eagle, you with me?

892
00:32:41,459 --> 00:32:43,878
REPORTER:
<i>Don't you mean "moose race"?</i>

893
00:32:43,961 --> 00:32:45,213
BERT:<i> Eagle!</i>

894
00:32:45,296 --> 00:32:46,673
Hey!

895
00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:48,383
Oh-ho!

896
00:32:48,466 --> 00:32:50,343
There she is.
Come on, let's go.

897
00:32:50,426 --> 00:32:51,636
That's her, right there.

898
00:32:51,719 --> 00:32:53,054
Sally!
Miss Mannis?

899
00:32:53,137 --> 00:32:54,555
Are you Dr. Sally Mannis?
Yeah.

900
00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:56,557
A couple questions
about Handy Harrison.

901
00:32:56,641 --> 00:32:59,018
Hey! Watch it!

902
00:32:59,102 --> 00:33:00,603
And now you're dating
the president?

903
00:33:00,687 --> 00:33:01,646
No.

904
00:33:01,729 --> 00:33:03,356
No, I'm not dating
the president.

905
00:33:03,439 --> 00:33:04,649
It's one date.

906
00:33:04,732 --> 00:33:06,609
I'm not even sure
you'd call it a date.

907
00:33:06,693 --> 00:33:07,819
You wouldn't
call it a date?

908
00:33:07,902 --> 00:33:09,028
What would you
call it, exactly?

909
00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:10,113
Just a couple
more questions.

910
00:33:10,196 --> 00:33:11,197
When did you meet?

911
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:12,657
When did he
ask you out?

912
00:33:12,740 --> 00:33:14,117
Have you and the president
had sex yet?

913
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,368
For God's sakes.

914
00:33:15,451 --> 00:33:18,746
(SHOUTING QUESTIONS)

915
00:33:20,790 --> 00:33:22,208
MORRIS:
Think about it, Handy.

916
00:33:22,291 --> 00:33:23,793
For our mayor, we could have

917
00:33:23,876 --> 00:33:26,087
the president
of the United States.

918
00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:27,463
What are you
trying to do to us?

919
00:33:27,547 --> 00:33:29,132
Come on, guys, look.
You know he's gonna win.

920
00:33:29,215 --> 00:33:31,008
Drop out,
you bastard!

921
00:33:31,092 --> 00:33:32,301
Come on.
Thank you, Reuben.

922
00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:33,636
And you better
keep an eye

923
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:34,929
on your speedometer, Harrison.

924
00:33:35,012 --> 00:33:36,389
WORKERS: (CHANTING)
Handy! Handy!

925
00:33:36,472 --> 00:33:37,598
MANDY:
Hi, Daddy.

926
00:33:37,682 --> 00:33:40,476
What's this? Come on.
Aw, what's going on?

927
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,438
What's it look like?
You're campaigning.

928
00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:44,897
WORKERS:
Handy! Handy!

929
00:33:44,981 --> 00:33:46,858
Hey, guys. Come on.

930
00:33:46,941 --> 00:33:47,942
Hey, Handy.

931
00:33:48,025 --> 00:33:49,402
Do you like it?

932
00:33:49,485 --> 00:33:50,737
That's... yeah.

933
00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:52,780
Uh, all right, guys,
thank you very much,

934
00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:55,074
and the moose hat
and everything, but, Irma,

935
00:33:55,158 --> 00:33:56,659
we discussed this,
huh?

936
00:33:56,743 --> 00:33:59,370
I'm not campaigning.
I'm not.

937
00:34:05,042 --> 00:34:06,169
(SIGHS)

938
00:34:07,044 --> 00:34:07,920
What?

939
00:34:08,004 --> 00:34:09,756
Do you care about
Sally or not?

940
00:34:09,839 --> 00:34:10,923
No...

941
00:34:11,007 --> 00:34:13,509
Look, her going out
with him is just...

942
00:34:13,593 --> 00:34:15,678
it's a casual...

943
00:34:17,054 --> 00:34:19,891
Call it postmenopausal
intuition,

944
00:34:19,974 --> 00:34:21,476
but just my opinion,

945
00:34:21,559 --> 00:34:24,103
lose this election,
lose Sally.

946
00:34:24,187 --> 00:34:25,146
Mm-hmm.

947
00:34:25,229 --> 00:34:26,856
It's not gonna go
anywhere, okay?

948
00:34:26,939 --> 00:34:28,649
He's, like,
20 years older than me.

949
00:34:28,733 --> 00:34:30,443
He's the president.

950
00:34:30,526 --> 00:34:31,486
So?

951
00:34:31,569 --> 00:34:34,405
Power takes ten years
off a man, Handy.

952
00:34:34,489 --> 00:34:36,449
Rich, another ten.

953
00:34:36,532 --> 00:34:40,036
By the time
you figure he's in great shape and you're not,

954
00:34:40,119 --> 00:34:42,997
he's younger
than you are. Mm-hmm.

955
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:43,956
(SCOFFS)

956
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:47,418
So, you want to
campaign or not?

957
00:34:48,127 --> 00:34:49,128
Mm-mm!

958
00:34:49,212 --> 00:34:50,379
Mm-mm-mm-mm.

959
00:34:51,172 --> 00:34:52,548
"Better shape."

960
00:34:53,883 --> 00:34:56,094
I know I can
kick your ass!

961
00:34:56,177 --> 00:34:57,345
BULLARD:
Up and running.

962
00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:58,846
So, how do we kick
this thing off, Bert?

963
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:02,642
Top priority, obviously,
is to keep him presidential.

964
00:35:02,725 --> 00:35:05,311
Just pound these
moose worshipers

965
00:35:05,394 --> 00:35:09,273
with what his
unbelievable experience can bring to them.

966
00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:11,692
Look, if they think about
it for half a second,

967
00:35:11,776 --> 00:35:15,655
Harrison can't bring
even a fraction of what he brings.

968
00:35:15,738 --> 00:35:16,864
Whatever he is.

969
00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:18,366
And what
exactly is he?

970
00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:20,159
Preliminary research says

971
00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:22,453
that he is something that

972
00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:25,915
actually we've
never faced before, Mr. President.

973
00:35:25,998 --> 00:35:26,958
And that is...?

974
00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:29,627
He's a genuinely
honest man, sir.

975
00:35:29,710 --> 00:35:30,920
Oh, come on, Grace.

976
00:35:31,003 --> 00:35:33,840
All that means is,
he's never run for public office.

977
00:35:33,923 --> 00:35:35,800
(LAUGHS)

978
00:35:35,883 --> 00:35:37,593
What do you got, Bert?

979
00:35:37,677 --> 00:35:39,720
FBI, CIA, nothing.

980
00:35:40,638 --> 00:35:43,015
But this turned up
in the local paper.

981
00:35:43,099 --> 00:35:44,934
And, uh, that's it?

982
00:35:45,017 --> 00:35:46,727
That's it.
We're running

983
00:35:46,811 --> 00:35:48,729
against the
pie-eating champ.

984
00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:49,772
(CHUCKLES)

985
00:35:49,856 --> 00:35:51,107
(CHUCKLES)

986
00:35:51,774 --> 00:35:53,234
And think about this:

987
00:35:53,317 --> 00:35:54,569
He runs for mayor,

988
00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:56,237
but only when he
thinks he's unopposed.

989
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,865
He dates the same woman
for six years,

990
00:35:58,948 --> 00:36:01,284
but he never
pops the question.

991
00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:04,287
What's wrong
with this picture?

992
00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:06,956
Well, he won't take risks.

993
00:36:07,039 --> 00:36:08,624
He won't make
a commitment.

994
00:36:08,708 --> 00:36:10,585
And any man who
won't make a commitment

995
00:36:10,668 --> 00:36:12,211
shouldn't be mayor
of anything.

996
00:36:12,295 --> 00:36:13,880
That's good.
How do we get that out?

997
00:36:13,963 --> 00:36:16,173
Whisper campaign,
at first.

998
00:36:16,257 --> 00:36:17,341
Then radio.

999
00:36:17,425 --> 00:36:20,344
And eventually, we'll have
to have some TV spots.

1000
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:22,346
Shouldn't get
too expensive, but...

1001
00:36:22,430 --> 00:36:23,556
GRACE:
Mr. President.

1002
00:36:23,639 --> 00:36:25,182
I'm sure you don't
want to hear this.

1003
00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:28,102
But would
the easiest thing be...

1004
00:36:28,185 --> 00:36:30,229
Should we discuss
a withdrawal?

1005
00:36:30,313 --> 00:36:31,731
Withdrawal?

1006
00:36:32,231 --> 00:36:33,441
Grace!

1007
00:36:33,524 --> 00:36:35,234
He's the Eagle.

1008
00:36:35,318 --> 00:36:39,906
Eagle Cole has never run away
from anything in his life!

1009
00:36:39,989 --> 00:36:41,908
Not to mention
what it would do to his finances.

1010
00:36:41,991 --> 00:36:43,409
Finances?
Yeah, book deals,

1011
00:36:43,492 --> 00:36:46,245
corporate boards,
library fund-raising.

1012
00:36:46,329 --> 00:36:48,247
You quit, or, God help
us, lose to a plumber,

1013
00:36:48,331 --> 00:36:49,749
we can kiss
those deals good-bye

1014
00:36:49,832 --> 00:36:51,751
faster than you can say
"Roto-Rooter."

1015
00:36:51,834 --> 00:36:53,794
Mr. President,
this is not about Mooseport.

1016
00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:54,879
It's about winning.

1017
00:36:54,962 --> 00:36:55,880
It's about spending

1018
00:36:55,963 --> 00:36:57,381
three million dollars
to protect 20.

1019
00:36:57,465 --> 00:37:00,343
Well, maybe I should commit
to that speaking tour.

1020
00:37:01,260 --> 00:37:02,595
(CLEARS THROAT)

1021
00:37:02,678 --> 00:37:03,804
I-I, uh...

1022
00:37:03,888 --> 00:37:05,598
I-I had to
cancel that, sir.

1023
00:37:05,681 --> 00:37:08,100
You... You what?

1024
00:37:08,184 --> 00:37:09,685
It-It seemed obvious.

1025
00:37:09,769 --> 00:37:11,646
It was right in the middle
of the campaign.

1026
00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:13,105
That was millions of dollars.

1027
00:37:13,189 --> 00:37:16,776
Well, sir, there is
still that offer from the Soova Motors people.

1028
00:37:16,859 --> 00:37:18,486
Bullard,
the ex-president

1029
00:37:18,569 --> 00:37:20,071
of the United States
cannot do car commercials.

1030
00:37:20,154 --> 00:37:22,114
Oh. But have you seen
the car, Mr. President?

1031
00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:23,199
Look at this.

1032
00:37:23,282 --> 00:37:25,868
It's snappy styling,
snappy president, and...

1033
00:37:25,952 --> 00:37:26,869
Bullard?

1034
00:37:26,953 --> 00:37:28,913
Aw, it's
smooth handling, leather interior.

1035
00:37:28,996 --> 00:37:30,498
Bullard, get out.
Get out.

1036
00:37:30,581 --> 00:37:32,458
GRACE: I'll handle
the money, Eagle.

1037
00:37:32,541 --> 00:37:34,377
Uh, I'm sure that
with the library pledges,

1038
00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:36,128
something will turn up.

1039
00:37:36,212 --> 00:37:38,214
May I stay now, sir?

1040
00:37:38,297 --> 00:37:40,132
Go in the corner,
out of my eye line.

1041
00:37:40,216 --> 00:37:41,592
Thank you, sir.

1042
00:37:43,260 --> 00:37:44,679
(CLEARS THROAT)

1043
00:37:44,762 --> 00:37:46,055
I can still see you.

1044
00:37:46,138 --> 00:37:47,139
Yes, sir.

1045
00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:50,434
What about the girl?

1046
00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:53,688
What about this Sally-Handy,
Sally-Eagle wank-off?

1047
00:37:53,771 --> 00:37:55,231
He'll have to cancel
the date.

1048
00:37:55,314 --> 00:37:57,692
Whoa, whoa.
No, he can't cancel the date.

1049
00:37:57,775 --> 00:37:59,527
You said it, Bert.

1050
00:37:59,610 --> 00:38:01,654
The Eagle doesn't back down.

1051
00:38:01,737 --> 00:38:02,905
You clear up what
I didn't know

1052
00:38:02,989 --> 00:38:05,116
and when I didn't know it,
I'll be fine.

1053
00:38:05,199 --> 00:38:06,909
Should I draft a press
release, Mr. President?

1054
00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:07,952
Uh, yeah.

1055
00:38:08,035 --> 00:38:11,455
Oh! Oh, no. No. Um...

1056
00:38:11,539 --> 00:38:14,500
Call the press,
have 'em over here first thing in the morning.

1057
00:38:14,583 --> 00:38:17,753
And then get
Handy Harrison here to fix the toilet.

1058
00:38:17,837 --> 00:38:20,464
You see where I'm going
with this, or do I have to draw you a picture?

1059
00:38:20,548 --> 00:38:21,924
No, I see it,
Mr. President.

1060
00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:23,050
I'm on it.

1061
00:38:23,134 --> 00:38:24,385
GRACE:
Let's get to work.

1062
00:38:24,468 --> 00:38:25,678
(CHUCKLES)

1063
00:38:25,761 --> 00:38:27,680
(LAUGHS)

1064
00:38:28,264 --> 00:38:29,557
Coming in.

1065
00:38:30,433 --> 00:38:31,809
Let's go. Let's go.

1066
00:38:31,892 --> 00:38:33,227
Move on through.
Move on.

1067
00:38:33,310 --> 00:38:34,228
Oh, boy.

1068
00:38:34,311 --> 00:38:36,105
Uh-huh, looks
like an ambush.

1069
00:38:37,565 --> 00:38:39,191
Oh, boy.

1070
00:38:39,275 --> 00:38:42,528
Handy! Handy, what are
your policies about the...?

1071
00:38:42,611 --> 00:38:43,946
Handy, how much is...?

1072
00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:45,031
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

1073
00:38:45,114 --> 00:38:46,157
Mr. President?

1074
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:47,241
Mr. President?

1075
00:38:47,324 --> 00:38:49,160
Folks, I-I need a word
with Mr. Harrison.

1076
00:38:49,243 --> 00:38:50,327
Good morning, Handy.

1077
00:38:50,411 --> 00:38:51,370
Morning, Mr. President.

1078
00:38:51,454 --> 00:38:53,039
Uh, you got
toilet trouble, right?

1079
00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:55,207
(CHUCKLING)
Yeah. Handy, um...

1080
00:38:55,291 --> 00:38:57,585
I want to make it clear that
when I asked Miss Mannis out,

1081
00:38:57,668 --> 00:39:00,921
I had no idea that you
two had a relationship.

1082
00:39:01,005 --> 00:39:02,590
And even though
I find it reprehensible

1083
00:39:02,673 --> 00:39:04,967
for any man to interfere
in an ongoing romance...

1084
00:39:05,051 --> 00:39:06,010
Me, too.

1085
00:39:06,093 --> 00:39:07,094
(LAUGHING)
Yeah.

1086
00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:08,262
I also believe

1087
00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:11,307
that a woman's heart is
hers and hers alone to give.

1088
00:39:12,099 --> 00:39:13,517
Ah. Yeah.

1089
00:39:13,601 --> 00:39:14,602
That's a good point.

1090
00:39:14,685 --> 00:39:18,022
Mm-hmm. So, I asked
Sally out in ignorance,

1091
00:39:18,105 --> 00:39:20,399
and, uh, she
agreed to go.

1092
00:39:20,483 --> 00:39:22,777
And until she tells me
to stand down,

1093
00:39:23,944 --> 00:39:25,654
I intend to see her.

1094
00:39:25,738 --> 00:39:26,822
Fair?

1095
00:39:26,906 --> 00:39:28,449
Call him a horndog.

1096
00:39:28,532 --> 00:39:30,326
What'd she say?
What'd she say? Horndog?

1097
00:39:30,409 --> 00:39:32,369
Well, uh...

1098
00:39:32,453 --> 00:39:36,916
if it's okay with you, sir,
I'd like to chew on that a bit.

1099
00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:39,335
Okay.

1100
00:39:39,418 --> 00:39:42,046
Okay, you chew on that,
and, um...

1101
00:39:43,297 --> 00:39:44,757
if you find
that you can't swallow it,

1102
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:49,637
you let me know,
and I'll give you the Heimlich maneuver, okay?

1103
00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:51,889
Pretty good, sir!
Come on in here and fix these toilets.

1104
00:39:51,972 --> 00:39:55,142
Are we going to see
a date, Mr. President? Where are you taking her, sir?

1105
00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,852
I don't know what you're gonna
see, to tell you the truth.

1106
00:39:56,936 --> 00:39:59,438
And thank you so much.
Thank you.

1107
00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:00,731
Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.

1108
00:40:00,815 --> 00:40:02,441
I'm in a great mood.
Do we have any ice cream?

1109
00:40:02,525 --> 00:40:04,610
Absolutely, sir.
And I think

1110
00:40:04,693 --> 00:40:06,487
we found a way to solve
your money problems.

1111
00:40:06,570 --> 00:40:07,863
Really?
Yes.

1112
00:40:16,705 --> 00:40:17,832
<i>Voila.</i>

1113
00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:19,333
That's it?

1114
00:40:19,416 --> 00:40:20,417
Nothing to it.

1115
00:40:20,501 --> 00:40:22,378
You save three
million dollars.

1116
00:40:22,461 --> 00:40:23,963
And look,
still beautiful.

1117
00:40:24,046 --> 00:40:27,758
Excellent. Excellent.
Uh, don't even miss it.

1118
00:40:30,427 --> 00:40:32,346
Okay, everybody,
let's get back to work.

1119
00:40:32,429 --> 00:40:33,889
Right away, sir.

1120
00:40:35,391 --> 00:40:37,309
Son of a bitch.

1121
00:40:40,229 --> 00:40:41,564
Sally!

1122
00:40:47,111 --> 00:40:48,487
Plunger, you stay
off the couch.

1123
00:40:48,571 --> 00:40:50,406
Hello.
Hello?

1124
00:40:51,824 --> 00:40:53,492
Hey. Hey, it's me.

1125
00:40:53,576 --> 00:40:55,619
What's up? Uh...

1126
00:40:55,703 --> 00:40:57,246
What are you doing?
You wanna go do something?

1127
00:40:57,329 --> 00:40:58,998
Want to see a movie
or something?

1128
00:40:59,081 --> 00:41:01,208
You know I have
plans tonight.

1129
00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:05,087
I... Oh! That's right.
That's right. I forgot.

1130
00:41:05,171 --> 00:41:06,547
Tonight's the night
you got, uh...

1131
00:41:06,630 --> 00:41:08,549
you got a date
with the President of the United States.

1132
00:41:08,632 --> 00:41:09,717
Uh-huh.

1133
00:41:11,135 --> 00:41:12,344
You see this?

1134
00:41:14,555 --> 00:41:17,892
"Local vet finds romance
with past president."

1135
00:41:17,975 --> 00:41:20,102
Ew. Where'd they get
that picture?

1136
00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:21,478
Yeah. Well, there it is,

1137
00:41:21,562 --> 00:41:23,981
next to the president,
right on the front page.

1138
00:41:24,064 --> 00:41:26,358
So, what about later?
I mean, you know,

1139
00:41:26,442 --> 00:41:28,402
he must go to bed at,
like, 8:30. Right?

1140
00:41:28,485 --> 00:41:31,197
So, there's supposed to be
a meteor shower at 11:00.

1141
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,198
That could be cool.

1142
00:41:32,281 --> 00:41:33,616
It'll have to be
another time.

1143
00:41:35,242 --> 00:41:36,869
All right. It's not gonna
happen for 240 years.

1144
00:41:36,952 --> 00:41:38,537
But okay, I'll pencil that in.

1145
00:41:38,621 --> 00:41:41,081
Like, uh...
You gotta...

1146
00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:42,541
You gotta tighten these.

1147
00:41:43,292 --> 00:41:44,752
Okay, look,
if you're doing

1148
00:41:44,835 --> 00:41:46,629
all this
to... to get me jealous,

1149
00:41:46,712 --> 00:41:47,796
it's worked, okay?

1150
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,840
So, could you stop it?
Huh? Please?

1151
00:41:49,924 --> 00:41:52,468
Could you just cancel
the date

1152
00:41:52,551 --> 00:41:53,969
with the president?

1153
00:41:56,639 --> 00:42:00,768
So, that's Wednesday.
Then Thursday...

1154
00:42:00,851 --> 00:42:02,436
Come in, come in,
come in.

1155
00:42:02,519 --> 00:42:03,729
Thank you, sir.

1156
00:42:03,812 --> 00:42:05,189
Uh, Thursday
I thought

1157
00:42:05,272 --> 00:42:07,858
that you could interview
some of the ghostwriters.

1158
00:42:07,942 --> 00:42:09,610
Aw, great, great,
great, great.

1159
00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:10,903
Where are you taking her?

1160
00:42:10,986 --> 00:42:12,529
(CHUCKLES)
The Pig and the Whistle.

1161
00:42:12,613 --> 00:42:14,698
The only
steak house in town.

1162
00:42:14,782 --> 00:42:17,159
Supposed to be
quiet, intimate.

1163
00:42:17,243 --> 00:42:18,160
Do you know it?

1164
00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:20,246
It's Pig 'n' Whistle.
No. (CHUCKLES)

1165
00:42:20,329 --> 00:42:21,497
What do I eat?

1166
00:42:21,580 --> 00:42:23,040
I mean, what do I
talk about?

1167
00:42:23,123 --> 00:42:25,584
Do I have anything
in common with this girl?

1168
00:42:25,668 --> 00:42:26,961
She's a veterinarian.

1169
00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:29,797
Why don't you talk
about mad cow disease?

1170
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,840
Don't, by the way, order meat.

1171
00:42:31,924 --> 00:42:32,925
Why not?

1172
00:42:33,008 --> 00:42:34,009
It's just a guess,

1173
00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:36,136
but she might not appreciate
your wolfing down

1174
00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:38,722
the animal she spent all day
trying to save.

1175
00:42:38,806 --> 00:42:40,140
(LAUGHS)

1176
00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:41,600
Good point.

1177
00:42:42,851 --> 00:42:44,478
Come on. Wh...

1178
00:42:44,561 --> 00:42:45,813
What-What? Do you...

1179
00:42:45,896 --> 00:42:47,523
Do you really actually
like this guy?

1180
00:42:47,606 --> 00:42:49,900
He wants to talk to me
about dogs.

1181
00:42:49,984 --> 00:42:51,402
So, why you all
dressed up, then?

1182
00:42:51,485 --> 00:42:53,779
Because he's the president.

1183
00:42:53,862 --> 00:42:57,908
Well, then why you wearing
black underwear?

1184
00:43:03,539 --> 00:43:05,582
Were you looking up
my dress?

1185
00:43:05,666 --> 00:43:07,293
(WHIMPERING)

1186
00:43:08,752 --> 00:43:09,878
Yeah, I was.

1187
00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:12,047
Ow!

1188
00:43:12,131 --> 00:43:14,008
Oh, get over yourself.
I hardly touched you.

1189
00:43:14,091 --> 00:43:15,342
How many times
do I gotta tell you

1190
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:16,385
how strong you are?

1191
00:43:16,468 --> 00:43:20,389
You knuckled my bone.
(GASPING)

1192
00:43:20,472 --> 00:43:23,350
Listen, explain to me
the underwear choice, all right?

1193
00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:25,269
Because if you're
not attracted... I don't believe this.

1194
00:43:25,352 --> 00:43:28,480
What difference does it make
what color my underwear is?

1195
00:43:28,564 --> 00:43:31,608
It's an unconscious
indicator

1196
00:43:31,692 --> 00:43:34,278
of your subconscious
intentions.

1197
00:43:34,361 --> 00:43:37,281
Okay. Um...

1198
00:43:38,949 --> 00:43:40,617
How you feel about the pink?

1199
00:43:41,201 --> 00:43:42,369
No.
No.

1200
00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:43,829
Um, how about these?

1201
00:43:43,912 --> 00:43:45,164
No.
No?

1202
00:43:45,247 --> 00:43:46,498
Uh... these?

1203
00:43:46,582 --> 00:43:48,542
All right.
Or do you like

1204
00:43:48,625 --> 00:43:49,710
any of these?
I don't.

1205
00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:50,878
We're going
to Sears tomorrow. Or these?

1206
00:43:50,961 --> 00:43:51,962
I'm telling you right now.

1207
00:43:52,046 --> 00:43:54,048
Oh! Remember these?

1208
00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:56,508
Yeah. That we're
locking up, okay?

1209
00:43:57,176 --> 00:43:58,761
Or you know what?

1210
00:43:58,844 --> 00:44:00,429
I could always go
with none at all.

1211
00:44:00,512 --> 00:44:02,556
I wonder what that
would indicate.

1212
00:44:03,682 --> 00:44:04,600
Sally.

1213
00:44:04,683 --> 00:44:06,727
Sally!
Put some pants on!

1214
00:44:06,810 --> 00:44:09,146
(PHONE RINGS)

1215
00:44:09,229 --> 00:44:11,482
Hello.
Handy's Hardware.

1216
00:44:11,565 --> 00:44:13,317
Hello, Pig 'n' Whistle.

1217
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,027
IRMA:<i> No, this is</i>
<i>Handy's Hardware.</i>

1218
00:44:15,110 --> 00:44:18,155
Good. I'd like to confirm
a reservation, please.

1219
00:44:18,238 --> 00:44:19,948
Uh, you have
the wrong number.

1220
00:44:20,032 --> 00:44:21,033
GRACE:<i> Yes, I know.</i>

1221
00:44:21,116 --> 00:44:23,369
For President Monroe Cole.

1222
00:44:23,452 --> 00:44:25,371
<i>Strictly confidential,</i>
<i>of course.</i>

1223
00:44:25,454 --> 00:44:26,705
Confidential?

1224
00:44:26,789 --> 00:44:29,541
<i>Eight o' clock.</i>
<i>For two, yes?</i>

1225
00:44:29,625 --> 00:44:31,835
Well, I'll be buggered
by a bear.

1226
00:44:31,919 --> 00:44:33,087
Uh, yes, you will.

1227
00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:34,546
Look forward to
seeing you there.

1228
00:44:34,630 --> 00:44:36,215
(DIAL TONE)

1229
00:44:36,298 --> 00:44:37,299
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

1230
00:44:37,383 --> 00:44:38,467
(HORNS HONKING)

1231
00:44:38,550 --> 00:44:39,718
HANDY:
This feels wrong.

1232
00:44:39,802 --> 00:44:40,928
And pushy.

1233
00:44:41,011 --> 00:44:43,430
And him making her
his booty poodle isn't?

1234
00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:46,809
Oh. You have to stop
saying that. Please.

1235
00:44:46,892 --> 00:44:48,435
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

1236
00:44:48,519 --> 00:44:49,770
Thank you.

1237
00:44:49,853 --> 00:44:50,896
To new friends.

1238
00:44:50,979 --> 00:44:52,231
(CROWD CLAMORING)

1239
00:44:52,314 --> 00:44:53,941
Lots of them.
MAN: Right here, Mr. President.

1240
00:44:54,024 --> 00:44:55,734
This way,
Mr. President.

1241
00:44:55,818 --> 00:44:57,194
Sorry about the gaggle.

1242
00:44:57,277 --> 00:44:59,613
I just can't believe
they hound you like this.

1243
00:44:59,696 --> 00:45:01,031
Ah, you get used to it.

1244
00:45:01,115 --> 00:45:02,574
They're kind of like pigeons,
you know?

1245
00:45:02,658 --> 00:45:05,077
You throw them a crumb
once in a while and...

1246
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,120
Hello!

1247
00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:07,496
Thank you, sir.

1248
00:45:07,579 --> 00:45:08,956
Hi, Mom.

1249
00:45:09,039 --> 00:45:10,457
Out with the president.

1250
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:12,626
(LAUGHS)

1251
00:45:12,709 --> 00:45:13,752
(LAUGHS)

1252
00:45:13,836 --> 00:45:14,962
Hm, hm, hm.

1253
00:45:15,045 --> 00:45:16,505
Aw, that's great.

1254
00:45:16,588 --> 00:45:17,881
Are we ready yet?

1255
00:45:17,965 --> 00:45:19,007
Uh... uh...

1256
00:45:19,091 --> 00:45:20,134
I hope you're hungry.

1257
00:45:20,217 --> 00:45:22,136
Uh, I could eat
a horse... radish!

1258
00:45:23,387 --> 00:45:24,805
Horseradish.

1259
00:45:24,888 --> 00:45:27,141
Sally?
Uh, I'm... I'm not sure yet.

1260
00:45:27,224 --> 00:45:29,059
You go first,
Mr. President.

1261
00:45:29,143 --> 00:45:31,186
Monroe, please.

1262
00:45:31,270 --> 00:45:32,896
Monroe.

1263
00:45:32,980 --> 00:45:34,440
Let's see. So much
to choose from here.

1264
00:45:34,523 --> 00:45:37,985
Um... I'll have
the baked potato.

1265
00:45:38,068 --> 00:45:39,111
Mmm. All right.

1266
00:45:39,194 --> 00:45:42,322
Sour cream and butter
and Baco Bits. Vegetarian!

1267
00:45:42,406 --> 00:45:43,407
Hmm!

1268
00:45:43,490 --> 00:45:44,616
Baco Bits.

1269
00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:48,745
Uh, I'll have
the endive salad and a T-bone.

1270
00:45:48,829 --> 00:45:50,330
(CHOKES)

1271
00:45:50,414 --> 00:45:51,957
Sometimes you just want
a steak, right?

1272
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:53,250
(LAUGHING)
Yeah.

1273
00:45:53,333 --> 00:45:54,334
(CHUCKLES)

1274
00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:55,461
MARTHA:
No turning back.

1275
00:45:55,544 --> 00:45:56,628
Get in there.
Just go...

1276
00:45:56,712 --> 00:45:57,838
Hey, hey, Harrison,
hold on a minute.

1277
00:45:57,921 --> 00:45:58,839
What's wrong?

1278
00:45:58,922 --> 00:46:00,048
Ma'am?
IRMA: Why can't we go in?

1279
00:46:00,132 --> 00:46:01,842
WOMAN: Uh-oh.
All right. Okay.

1280
00:46:01,925 --> 00:46:02,843
IRMA: Go. Go on.

1281
00:46:02,926 --> 00:46:03,969
HANDY: Okay. All right.

1282
00:46:04,052 --> 00:46:05,095
What's going on?

1283
00:46:05,721 --> 00:46:06,722
HANDY: Hi.

1284
00:46:06,805 --> 00:46:08,015
Uh... sorry.

1285
00:46:08,098 --> 00:46:10,517
Everybody, sorry
to interrupt. I was just...

1286
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:11,685
I wanna let
everybody know

1287
00:46:11,768 --> 00:46:13,437
that I'm gonna be running
for mayor,

1288
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:16,231
and I'd appreciate
your votes.

1289
00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:17,858
So I'll just
hand these out,

1290
00:46:17,941 --> 00:46:19,318
and I'll get out
of your way. Here you go.

1291
00:46:19,401 --> 00:46:20,819
MAN: I'm voting
for the president.

1292
00:46:21,612 --> 00:46:23,155
Hi. Well, good
evening, folks.

1293
00:46:23,238 --> 00:46:24,281
It's a nice
night, isn't it?

1294
00:46:24,364 --> 00:46:25,407
IRMA: Handy for mayor.

1295
00:46:25,491 --> 00:46:27,743
Yeah. Running for mayor.
Hey. Huh, you got yours?

1296
00:46:27,826 --> 00:46:28,827
Hi. Hi, Shelly. Hi.

1297
00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:30,496
Handy for mayor.
Appreciate it, Irma.

1298
00:46:30,579 --> 00:46:32,706
Hey. Just wanna remind people
that I'm running for mayor.

1299
00:46:32,789 --> 00:46:34,833
Yeah, we heard you before.

1300
00:46:34,917 --> 00:46:36,877
You know, instead
of interrupting everybody's dinner,

1301
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:38,462
why don't you two
have a debate?

1302
00:46:38,545 --> 00:46:40,380
Debate?
MAN: Yeah!

1303
00:46:40,464 --> 00:46:41,423
Have a debate.

1304
00:46:41,507 --> 00:46:42,758
HANDY: No, we're not
gonna have a debate.

1305
00:46:42,841 --> 00:46:44,468
I'm not gonna bother
the president with that.

1306
00:46:44,551 --> 00:46:47,387
Oh, no, no,
a debate's fine by me.

1307
00:46:47,471 --> 00:46:48,972
Hey, you see?
Yeah!

1308
00:46:49,056 --> 00:46:50,015
Now?

1309
00:46:50,098 --> 00:46:52,476
Well, now is not
the time or place, Handy.

1310
00:46:52,559 --> 00:46:56,021
But, uh,
let's say, uh, the town hall,

1311
00:46:56,104 --> 00:46:58,106
Tuesday night.
That's a great idea.

1312
00:46:58,190 --> 00:46:59,107
All right, well,

1313
00:46:59,191 --> 00:47:01,276
I'll think about it.
Of course he will.

1314
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,445
WOMAN: It'll be fun!
Tuesday, town hall. Great!

1315
00:47:03,529 --> 00:47:05,948
Okay. All right. You're on.

1316
00:47:06,031 --> 00:47:07,241
Okay, why don't we let

1317
00:47:07,324 --> 00:47:09,576
everybody get back
to their dinner?

1318
00:47:10,369 --> 00:47:11,245
All right.

1319
00:47:11,328 --> 00:47:12,538
I'll... I'm gonna
go in the bar.

1320
00:47:12,621 --> 00:47:13,705
You know,
maybe there's people

1321
00:47:13,789 --> 00:47:15,123
that are drunk enough
to vote for me in there.

1322
00:47:15,207 --> 00:47:16,625
This is terrific.

1323
00:47:17,084 --> 00:47:18,293
Good idea.

1324
00:47:18,377 --> 00:47:20,212
(DINERS MURMURING)

1325
00:47:21,838 --> 00:47:22,965
What are you mentioning
a debate? I'm not gonna...

1326
00:47:23,048 --> 00:47:24,508
That's all right.
You'll be fine.

1327
00:47:24,591 --> 00:47:26,552
I can't talk, I can't even
talk to you, I'm not gonna...

1328
00:47:26,635 --> 00:47:28,011
You will be fine.
Oh, come on.

1329
00:47:28,095 --> 00:47:29,388
All right, look, I'm
gonna stay. You go. Go.

1330
00:47:29,471 --> 00:47:30,472
All right.
Hand these out.

1331
00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:31,765
Take the truck home,
all right?

1332
00:47:31,848 --> 00:47:33,892
Put it...
Put some gas in it.

1333
00:47:34,601 --> 00:47:35,894
Hey. Hi, everybody.

1334
00:47:35,978 --> 00:47:37,354
Uh, sorry to interrupt.

1335
00:47:37,437 --> 00:47:41,316
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

1336
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:42,901
Everything all right?

1337
00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:44,736
Uh, yes.

1338
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:46,905
Um, would you excuse me
for just one minute?

1339
00:47:46,989 --> 00:47:48,115
Yes, certainly.

1340
00:47:48,198 --> 00:47:50,325
And don't get up.

1341
00:47:56,164 --> 00:47:57,249
I kind of know
what everybody...

1342
00:47:57,332 --> 00:48:00,544
Handy, get the hell
out of here.

1343
00:48:00,627 --> 00:48:02,796
Now, Sally, I have
the right to campaign.

1344
00:48:02,879 --> 00:48:05,799
Campaign? You're making
a fool of yourself.

1345
00:48:06,717 --> 00:48:09,052
Well, welcome to politics.

1346
00:48:10,846 --> 00:48:12,180
Discreetly. Discreetly.

1347
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,353
What's in it?

1348
00:48:18,437 --> 00:48:20,105
They're, uh...

1349
00:48:20,188 --> 00:48:21,398
It's beyond me, sir.

1350
00:48:21,481 --> 00:48:23,275
What?
Should I get it to the FBI?

1351
00:48:23,358 --> 00:48:24,818
Yes. No. No, no, no.

1352
00:48:24,901 --> 00:48:27,112
Here she comes.
(CHITTERING)

1353
00:48:27,195 --> 00:48:29,114
REPORTER:
Mr. President!

1354
00:48:29,197 --> 00:48:31,033
Watch your step,
Mr. President.

1355
00:48:31,116 --> 00:48:32,284
It's going well,
don't you think?

1356
00:48:32,367 --> 00:48:35,787
Mr. President, sir,
I've been thinking.

1357
00:48:35,871 --> 00:48:37,623
I suggest
a handshake, sir.

1358
00:48:37,706 --> 00:48:38,957
What?

1359
00:48:39,041 --> 00:48:40,626
Yes, sir.
It's your first date. I think that a handshake...

1360
00:48:40,709 --> 00:48:42,836
Grace, Grace,
I'm doing great here.

1361
00:48:42,919 --> 00:48:44,963
I think you're
underestimating me.

1362
00:48:45,047 --> 00:48:46,423
REPORTER:
Mr. President?

1363
00:48:46,506 --> 00:48:47,799
Are you gonna
see her again?

1364
00:48:47,883 --> 00:48:49,176
Mr. President?

1365
00:48:49,259 --> 00:48:50,927
Sally, is he
a gentleman?

1366
00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:53,513
Sally, over here.
How'd the date go?

1367
00:48:53,597 --> 00:48:56,266
Have you officially
dumped Handy, Miss Mannis?

1368
00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:57,559
Whoa!

1369
00:48:57,643 --> 00:48:58,727
Was that a meteor?

1370
00:48:58,810 --> 00:49:00,479
There's supposed to be
a shower tonight.

1371
00:49:00,562 --> 00:49:03,565
Ah. Maybe it's
a good omen.

1372
00:49:03,649 --> 00:49:05,859
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLING) Huh?

1373
00:49:05,942 --> 00:49:08,695
I just want to apologize
again for Handy.

1374
00:49:08,779 --> 00:49:12,282
I certainly did not tell him
where we were going tonight.

1375
00:49:12,366 --> 00:49:14,534
I understand totally.

1376
00:49:15,702 --> 00:49:16,828
Well...

1377
00:49:17,621 --> 00:49:18,830
Good night.

1378
00:49:18,914 --> 00:49:22,918
(CROWD MURMURING)

1379
00:49:23,001 --> 00:49:24,169
I, uh...

1380
00:49:24,252 --> 00:49:25,337
REPORTER:
Oops!

1381
00:49:25,420 --> 00:49:27,673
(REPORTERS GROANING LOUDLY)

1382
00:49:28,423 --> 00:49:29,508
Yes!

1383
00:49:29,591 --> 00:49:30,884
REPORTER:
Just a handshake?

1384
00:49:30,967 --> 00:49:33,220
(CROWD MURMURING)

1385
00:49:33,303 --> 00:49:34,554
(BLOWS KISS)

1386
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:35,806
(GULPING)

1387
00:49:35,889 --> 00:49:37,724
A little rusty there,
Mr. President?

1388
00:49:39,059 --> 00:49:40,060
BOB:
Mr. President?

1389
00:49:40,143 --> 00:49:41,728
Crash and burn, man!

1390
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,647
(CROWD MURMURING)

1391
00:49:43,730 --> 00:49:45,482
(GROANS)

1392
00:49:45,565 --> 00:49:47,109
<i>Okay, here it is again.</i>

1393
00:49:47,192 --> 00:49:49,444
<i>The President goes in</i>
<i>for the kiss.</i>

1394
00:49:49,528 --> 00:49:50,904
<i>Out comes her hand.</i>

1395
00:49:50,987 --> 00:49:54,282
<i>And no, thank you,</i>
<i>Mr. President.</i>

1396
00:49:54,366 --> 00:49:56,118
Yeah! Let's get
this guy another beer.

1397
00:49:56,201 --> 00:49:57,285
ANCHORMAN:
<i>All right, let's go to Jaycee</i>

1398
00:49:57,369 --> 00:49:59,287
<i>for some more</i>
<i>local opinion. Jaycee?</i>

1399
00:49:59,371 --> 00:50:00,539
JAYCEE:<i> Thanks, Daryl.</i>
<i>Yes, we do have</i>

1400
00:50:00,622 --> 00:50:01,665
<i>some people here tonight.</i>
<i>So, what did you think?</i>

1401
00:50:01,748 --> 00:50:03,083
Oh, wait. Guys, guys, guys.
Hey. Hey.

1402
00:50:03,166 --> 00:50:05,877
<i>He was pushed.</i>
<i>He missed all her signals.</i>

1403
00:50:05,961 --> 00:50:07,754
JAYCEE:
<i>Ooh. And you, sir?</i>

1404
00:50:07,838 --> 00:50:09,131
<i>The president?</i>

1405
00:50:09,214 --> 00:50:10,674
(CHUCKLING)
<i>Loser.</i>

1406
00:50:10,757 --> 00:50:11,758
(LAUGHING)

1407
00:50:11,842 --> 00:50:12,843
That's me!

1408
00:50:12,926 --> 00:50:14,511
(CROWD CLAMORING)

1409
00:50:14,594 --> 00:50:16,138
<i>The president got vetoed.</i>

1410
00:50:16,221 --> 00:50:17,848
(TV AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
ANCHOR:<i> Can you believe it?</i>

1411
00:50:17,931 --> 00:50:20,434
<i>Definitely</i>
<i>the cold shoulder.</i>

1412
00:50:21,017 --> 00:50:21,935
Cold shoulder.

1413
00:50:22,018 --> 00:50:23,895
PHILBIN:
<i>The president lost that one.</i>

1414
00:50:23,979 --> 00:50:26,022
<i>Do I hear lame duck?</i>

1415
00:50:26,106 --> 00:50:28,692
Turn it off. All right?
Just-just turn it off!

1416
00:50:28,775 --> 00:50:29,985
Come on. Turn it off.

1417
00:50:30,068 --> 00:50:31,278
Turn it off. Will you...?
Here, Mr. President.

1418
00:50:31,361 --> 00:50:32,237
(TURNS TV OFF)

1419
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:34,239
(CLEARS THROAT)
GRACE: There. It's off.

1420
00:50:34,322 --> 00:50:35,824
Well, how do we fix this?

1421
00:50:35,907 --> 00:50:38,368
We don't.
We concentrate on substance.

1422
00:50:38,452 --> 00:50:39,619
We get rid
of this debate.

1423
00:50:39,703 --> 00:50:40,912
What's wrong with a debate?

1424
00:50:40,996 --> 00:50:42,998
Well, putting him
on the stage with you

1425
00:50:43,081 --> 00:50:44,666
gives him
credibility, Eagle.

1426
00:50:44,750 --> 00:50:46,209
And he can be
funny, sir.

1427
00:50:46,293 --> 00:50:47,627
Funny is
your weakness.

1428
00:50:48,712 --> 00:50:50,046
(MONROE GRUNTS)

1429
00:50:50,839 --> 00:50:51,882
Not... Not weakness.

1430
00:50:52,424 --> 00:50:53,300
Uh...

1431
00:50:53,383 --> 00:50:55,635
Uh, uh... lesser...
strength.

1432
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:56,720
Oh, get out!

1433
00:50:59,723 --> 00:51:00,932
Out of your eye line?
Or-or the room...

1434
00:51:01,016 --> 00:51:02,642
Just get out! Out!

1435
00:51:03,602 --> 00:51:04,811
Dyer, Cloud,

1436
00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:06,271
break his leg.

1437
00:51:06,354 --> 00:51:07,856
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.

1438
00:51:09,107 --> 00:51:10,484
They know I'm kidding,
don't they?

1439
00:51:12,319 --> 00:51:13,487
I'm kidding!

1440
00:51:13,570 --> 00:51:15,238
I'm just kidding!

1441
00:51:15,322 --> 00:51:16,573
<i>♪ She didn't kiss</i>
<i>the president</i>

1442
00:51:16,656 --> 00:51:19,117
(CLATTERING)
<i>♪ Of the United States... ♪</i>

1443
00:51:19,201 --> 00:51:21,077
Sally! Sally!

1444
00:51:21,161 --> 00:51:22,621
Sal!

1445
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:25,582
All right, I'm coming.

1446
00:51:25,665 --> 00:51:26,625
Stay there.

1447
00:51:26,708 --> 00:51:29,085
Froggy.
Green Boy.

1448
00:51:29,169 --> 00:51:30,378
What...

1449
00:51:32,214 --> 00:51:34,299
Wha...

1450
00:51:44,226 --> 00:51:45,519
(QUIETLY)
Sally!

1451
00:51:45,602 --> 00:51:46,770
Sally!

1452
00:51:46,853 --> 00:51:48,438
Come on!

1453
00:51:48,522 --> 00:51:50,232
The frog is empty.

1454
00:51:52,234 --> 00:51:53,819
There's nothing in it...

1455
00:51:55,153 --> 00:51:56,404
except frog.

1456
00:52:04,996 --> 00:52:07,249
(YELLS)

1457
00:52:07,332 --> 00:52:10,335
Got a rock particle
in my eye now.

1458
00:52:10,418 --> 00:52:11,503
My eye hurts.

1459
00:52:11,586 --> 00:52:13,255
I need a hug.

1460
00:52:14,172 --> 00:52:15,465
Sally, just...

1461
00:52:17,551 --> 00:52:19,761
For a little bit,
we're gonna talk.

1462
00:52:21,221 --> 00:52:22,222
(GRUNTS)

1463
00:52:22,305 --> 00:52:23,265
Ow!

1464
00:52:23,348 --> 00:52:24,766
Wha... This...

1465
00:52:25,642 --> 00:52:26,893
This was a joke.

1466
00:52:26,977 --> 00:52:29,229
It was a...
a bad joke.

1467
00:52:31,773 --> 00:52:34,484
It's a little bit... funny.

1468
00:52:35,193 --> 00:52:36,194
Go to sleep,

1469
00:52:36,278 --> 00:52:37,779
and maybe...

1470
00:52:37,863 --> 00:52:40,282
maybe we'll meet
in our dreams.

1471
00:52:40,949 --> 00:52:42,075
Like may...

1472
00:52:42,158 --> 00:52:44,202
Like you can
connect a Nintendo

1473
00:52:44,286 --> 00:52:46,788
from one player
to the next player.

1474
00:52:48,331 --> 00:52:49,708
I'm blowing you a kiss.

1475
00:52:49,791 --> 00:52:51,084
It's by the window.

1476
00:52:51,167 --> 00:52:52,919
And you...
Tomorrow get it

1477
00:52:53,003 --> 00:52:54,421
when you wake up.

1478
00:52:54,504 --> 00:52:56,923
You brush your teeth,
and then you go get it.

1479
00:52:58,967 --> 00:53:00,093
All right.

1480
00:53:00,176 --> 00:53:01,636
I'm going home.

1481
00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:03,638
I hurt my eye.

1482
00:53:05,974 --> 00:53:07,183
Home.

1483
00:53:07,267 --> 00:53:09,102
Feed my doggie.

1484
00:53:09,185 --> 00:53:10,437
MAN:
Hey, Julie, wait up!

1485
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:12,981
(HORNS HONKING)

1486
00:53:13,064 --> 00:53:15,984
(EXCITED MURMURING)

1487
00:53:17,694 --> 00:53:18,820
MAN:
Good evening, fellas.

1488
00:53:18,904 --> 00:53:19,905
MORRIS:
<i>Testing, testing.</i>

1489
00:53:19,988 --> 00:53:21,197
<i>Uh, can y'all</i>
<i>hear me?</i>

1490
00:53:21,281 --> 00:53:22,282
Sally!

1491
00:53:22,365 --> 00:53:23,366
Hey, Dina.

1492
00:53:23,450 --> 00:53:24,618
What took you?

1493
00:53:30,415 --> 00:53:32,417
Would you stop sweating?

1494
00:53:32,500 --> 00:53:34,836
It goes with
hyperventilating.

1495
00:53:38,298 --> 00:53:40,008
We're all set, Eagle.

1496
00:53:40,091 --> 00:53:42,677
You'll be stage right,
showing your best side.

1497
00:53:42,761 --> 00:53:45,472
Talking points,
issue cheat sheets.

1498
00:53:45,555 --> 00:53:48,642
Wherever possible, tell 'em
about your experience.

1499
00:53:48,725 --> 00:53:52,062
Demonstrate all the resources
that you can bring to Mooseport.

1500
00:53:55,815 --> 00:53:57,233
I'm not afraid of you.

1501
00:54:00,070 --> 00:54:01,237
I can't feel my feet.

1502
00:54:01,321 --> 00:54:02,322
Your feet are fine.

1503
00:54:02,405 --> 00:54:03,448
I can't feel them.

1504
00:54:03,531 --> 00:54:05,450
Don't be a weenie.
Now, shape up.

1505
00:54:05,533 --> 00:54:06,701
How... Is my hair
sticking up?

1506
00:54:06,785 --> 00:54:07,953
You look...
Turn around.

1507
00:54:08,036 --> 00:54:09,454
Put it...
Put it down already.

1508
00:54:09,537 --> 00:54:10,538
Okay, shut your eyes,
baby.

1509
00:54:10,622 --> 00:54:12,165
Shut your eyes.

1510
00:54:12,248 --> 00:54:13,416
(COUGHS)
Stop it! Stop...

1511
00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:15,710
(GAGS)
Look at it, Handy.

1512
00:54:15,794 --> 00:54:18,588
Motels are full.
Stores are packed.

1513
00:54:18,672 --> 00:54:19,923
Do you realize
that this is

1514
00:54:20,006 --> 00:54:23,134
Mooseport's first traffic
jam since... ever!

1515
00:54:23,218 --> 00:54:24,344
We gotta have
a second debate.

1516
00:54:24,427 --> 00:54:25,637
How about it?
No!

1517
00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:27,138
Mr. President!
Hey, y'all! Come on. Let's go.

1518
00:54:27,222 --> 00:54:29,432
I'm... My nose is making
a whistling noise.

1519
00:54:30,141 --> 00:54:32,435
(AUDIENCE MURMURING)

1520
00:54:32,519 --> 00:54:35,814
(CHEERING)

1521
00:54:45,448 --> 00:54:46,449
MAN:
Hey, Handy!

1522
00:54:46,533 --> 00:54:48,368
(FEEDBACK SQUEALS)
(CROWD GROANS)

1523
00:54:48,451 --> 00:54:49,744
Sorry.

1524
00:54:49,828 --> 00:54:51,413
(CLEARS THROAT)

1525
00:54:51,496 --> 00:54:53,415
<i>My fellow Americans,</i>

1526
00:54:53,498 --> 00:54:57,794
<i>welcome to the first of two</i>
<i>televised mayoral debates.</i>

1527
00:54:57,877 --> 00:55:00,213
<i>In the grand ol' Mooseport</i>
<i>tradition,</i>

1528
00:55:00,296 --> 00:55:02,090
<i>a game of Rock,</i>
<i>Paper, Scissors</i>

1529
00:55:02,173 --> 00:55:05,802
<i>will determine who will answer</i>
<i>questions first. Gentlemen.</i>

1530
00:55:05,885 --> 00:55:07,345
WOMAN:
Show 'em how it's done now.

1531
00:55:07,429 --> 00:55:09,180
Handy.
Mr. President.

1532
00:55:09,264 --> 00:55:10,890
MAN:
Eagle!

1533
00:55:10,974 --> 00:55:12,225
You know the rules.

1534
00:55:13,143 --> 00:55:15,895
Rock. Paper. Scissors.

1535
00:55:15,979 --> 00:55:18,064
Okay? On the count
of three.

1536
00:55:18,148 --> 00:55:19,607
MAN:
Go get 'em, Eagle!

1537
00:55:19,691 --> 00:55:22,318
One... two... three.

1538
00:55:22,402 --> 00:55:23,445
(ALL GROAN)

1539
00:55:23,528 --> 00:55:25,989
Rock, rock. Tie.
Go again.

1540
00:55:26,072 --> 00:55:27,699
(CROWD CHATTERING)
Pick paper!

1541
00:55:27,782 --> 00:55:29,617
I'd choose scissors!
MORRIS: Okay?

1542
00:55:29,701 --> 00:55:32,162
WOMAN: Pick a rock.
MAN: Come on, focus.

1543
00:55:32,245 --> 00:55:34,205
MAN 3:
Good luck, Mr. President!

1544
00:55:34,289 --> 00:55:35,915
One, two, three...

1545
00:55:35,999 --> 00:55:37,917
Oh, paper, paper.
Tie. Go again.

1546
00:55:38,001 --> 00:55:41,004
(CROWD GROANING,
SHOUTING SUGGESTIONS)

1547
00:55:41,087 --> 00:55:42,589
Rock.

1548
00:55:42,672 --> 00:55:45,300
(SHOUTING VARIOUS SUGGESTIONS)

1549
00:55:53,349 --> 00:55:55,769
MAN:
Focus! Focus!

1550
00:55:55,852 --> 00:55:57,604
One, two, three!

1551
00:55:57,687 --> 00:56:00,065
(CHEERING)

1552
00:56:00,148 --> 00:56:02,233
Oh, come on!

1553
00:56:02,317 --> 00:56:03,526
Rock breaks scissors.

1554
00:56:03,610 --> 00:56:06,321
The president wins!

1555
00:56:06,404 --> 00:56:10,033
(CHEERING)

1556
00:56:10,116 --> 00:56:13,161
<i>I am now prepared</i>
<i>to entertain questions</i> <i>from the floor.</i>

1557
00:56:13,244 --> 00:56:14,287
CLAY:
I got one!

1558
00:56:14,370 --> 00:56:16,372
<i>Clay?</i>

1559
00:56:16,456 --> 00:56:20,210
Uh, some of them environment
people have taken

1560
00:56:20,293 --> 00:56:23,838
to calling Ned Barker's
pond a wetlands.

1561
00:56:23,922 --> 00:56:26,466
Now, I've been fishing there
for 30 years.

1562
00:56:26,549 --> 00:56:27,926
What's gonna happen?

1563
00:56:28,009 --> 00:56:30,220
MAN 1: What's gonna happen?
MAN 2: Good question.

1564
00:56:31,429 --> 00:56:32,597
COLE:
<i>Clay,</i>

1565
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:35,642
<i>I was the most environmentally</i>
<i>conscious president</i>

1566
00:56:35,725 --> 00:56:37,227
<i>since Teddy Roosevelt.</i>

1567
00:56:37,310 --> 00:56:39,270
<i>Human population</i>
<i>will not threaten</i>

1568
00:56:39,354 --> 00:56:43,691
<i>wildlife in this area</i>
<i>for 200 years, if ever.</i>

1569
00:56:43,775 --> 00:56:45,735
<i>So you go right on fishing</i>
<i>in that pond</i>

1570
00:56:45,819 --> 00:56:47,612
<i>and if anybody</i>
<i>tries to stop you,</i>

1571
00:56:47,695 --> 00:56:49,197
<i>you send them</i>
<i>to me, all right?</i>

1572
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:51,491
(CHEERING)

1573
00:56:51,574 --> 00:56:54,244
Right on, Mr. President!

1574
00:56:55,703 --> 00:56:56,830
<i>Handy?</i>

1575
00:57:00,667 --> 00:57:02,669
Come on, Handy.
Come on.

1576
00:57:06,381 --> 00:57:09,092
<i>That's well put,</i>
<i>Mr. President.</i>

1577
00:57:11,594 --> 00:57:13,179
<i>It sounds good to me.</i>

1578
00:57:14,514 --> 00:57:16,558
(AUDIENCE MURMURING)

1579
00:57:16,641 --> 00:57:20,770
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

1580
00:57:20,854 --> 00:57:22,730
Aw, Handy, come on.

1581
00:57:23,606 --> 00:57:24,816
FRANCIS:
My turn! My turn!

1582
00:57:24,899 --> 00:57:26,484
Morris! Over here!
Over here!

1583
00:57:26,568 --> 00:57:28,611
Uh, Francis?

1584
00:57:28,695 --> 00:57:32,073
Uh, for ten years now
we have needed a stop sign

1585
00:57:32,157 --> 00:57:33,658
in front of
Lucy Decker's house.

1586
00:57:33,741 --> 00:57:34,701
Nah, nah, nah.

1587
00:57:34,784 --> 00:57:35,910
And she has done everything

1588
00:57:35,994 --> 00:57:39,038
except burn down city hall
to stop it.

1589
00:57:39,122 --> 00:57:42,041
If elected,
what will you do about it?

1590
00:57:43,543 --> 00:57:45,420
<i>First off, I would convene</i>

1591
00:57:45,503 --> 00:57:47,547
<i>a commission to, uh,</i>
<i>study the problem.</i>

1592
00:57:47,630 --> 00:57:51,759
<i>I would appoint a blue-ribbon</i>
<i>panel of traffic specialists,</i>

1593
00:57:51,843 --> 00:57:53,428
<i>right-of-way attorneys and</i>

1594
00:57:53,511 --> 00:57:57,140
<i>the Army Corps of Engineers</i>
<i>to assess the situation</i>

1595
00:57:57,223 --> 00:57:58,683
<i>and make recommendations.</i>

1596
00:57:58,766 --> 00:58:01,811
<i>I would spare no effort</i>
<i>to make our streets</i>

1597
00:58:01,895 --> 00:58:03,605
<i>the safest in the world.</i>

1598
00:58:03,688 --> 00:58:06,399
(CHEERING)

1599
00:58:06,482 --> 00:58:08,318
Oh...
MAN: Get 'em, Eagle!

1600
00:58:09,652 --> 00:58:10,945
Handy, your turn.

1601
00:58:11,029 --> 00:58:12,947
MAN:
Gotta go for it!

1602
00:58:14,449 --> 00:58:16,910
That's well put,
Mr. President.

1603
00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:26,461
Lucy, let me ask you.
What's the problem?

1604
00:58:26,544 --> 00:58:28,254
Car headlights.

1605
00:58:28,338 --> 00:58:31,090
Ten years ago,
they tried a stop sign

1606
00:58:31,174 --> 00:58:32,967
and when cars
on Bay Street stopped,

1607
00:58:33,051 --> 00:58:35,637
their headlights stopped
right on my headboard.

1608
00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:37,013
(GROANS AND CHUCKLES)

1609
00:58:37,096 --> 00:58:38,723
<i>Have you tried curtains?</i>

1610
00:58:38,806 --> 00:58:40,016
Excuse me?

1611
00:58:40,099 --> 00:58:42,936
<i>You know, blackout curtains,</i>
<i>for your windows.</i>

1612
00:58:43,019 --> 00:58:44,854
<i>You'll probably sleep</i>
<i>better anyway.</i>

1613
00:58:44,938 --> 00:58:46,564
(AUDIENCE MURMURING)

1614
00:58:46,648 --> 00:58:49,275
Well, I'd try that.
Nobody ever suggested that.

1615
00:58:49,359 --> 00:58:52,820
<i>Well, you come by the store</i>
<i>and we'll help you out.</i>

1616
00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:55,031
I'll do that.

1617
00:58:55,114 --> 00:58:57,075
That's it, Handy.

1618
00:58:57,158 --> 00:58:58,868
You tell 'em!

1619
00:58:59,994 --> 00:59:02,747
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

1620
00:59:02,830 --> 00:59:04,165
MAN:
Attaway, Handy!

1621
00:59:05,416 --> 00:59:06,960
Dad! Dad!

1622
00:59:07,043 --> 00:59:08,628
Mandy Gutman.

1623
00:59:08,711 --> 00:59:11,923
Um, Dad, this is a question
for Handy. Is that okay?

1624
00:59:12,006 --> 00:59:14,050
<i>Well, if the president</i>
<i>has no objection.</i>

1625
00:59:14,133 --> 00:59:16,928
I reserve the right
to respond, but no objection.

1626
00:59:17,387 --> 00:59:19,472
<i>Okay, Mandy.</i>

1627
00:59:19,555 --> 00:59:21,641
MANDY:
Handy, I was just wondering,

1628
00:59:21,724 --> 00:59:24,435
now that Sally is dating
the president...

1629
00:59:24,519 --> 00:59:26,437
(GASPS)

1630
00:59:27,897 --> 00:59:30,900
does that mean
that you're available?

1631
00:59:30,984 --> 00:59:33,736
<i>Okay, people,</i>
<i>can we keep the questioning</i>

1632
00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:35,154
<i>to the subject</i>
<i>of the election?</i>

1633
00:59:35,238 --> 00:59:37,115
<i>Uh, now I think Joe had</i>
<i>a question somewhere--</i>

1634
00:59:37,198 --> 00:59:40,285
<i>Actually, Morris, I'd like</i>
<i>to address the issue,</i> <i>if I might.</i>

1635
00:59:40,368 --> 00:59:41,327
<i>Thank you.</i>

1636
00:59:41,411 --> 00:59:43,746
<i>Uh, thanks, Mandy,</i>
<i>for that question.</i>

1637
00:59:43,830 --> 00:59:46,749
<i>Sally, I know...</i>

1638
00:59:46,833 --> 00:59:49,419
<i>I-I might not be</i>
<i>the best boyfriend, but...</i>

1639
00:59:50,753 --> 00:59:53,172
<i>Look, I thought we had</i>
<i>a good thing going here.</i>

1640
00:59:53,256 --> 00:59:56,342
<i>And you got to know how much</i>
<i>I care about you, right?</i>

1641
00:59:56,426 --> 00:59:59,429
(CROWD MOANS SYMPATHETICALLY)

1642
00:59:59,512 --> 01:00:01,681
<i>Why else you think I got</i>
<i>so mad about the underwear</i> <i>with the president?</i>

1643
01:00:01,764 --> 01:00:04,350
(GASPS)
REPORTER: Tell us about the underwear!

1644
01:00:04,434 --> 01:00:05,351
Was it a thong?

1645
01:00:05,435 --> 01:00:07,270
HANDY:
<i>No, no, no, no, no.</i>

1646
01:00:07,353 --> 01:00:11,816
<i>No. It's just...</i>
<i>It's a color thing.</i>

1647
01:00:11,899 --> 01:00:14,152
<i>Sally, what's the deal?</i>

1648
01:00:14,235 --> 01:00:15,486
<i>Are you going out</i>
<i>with him or me?</i>

1649
01:00:17,071 --> 01:00:19,324
MAN:
Go for the eagle!

1650
01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:20,992
WOMAN:
Sally, pick the president.

1651
01:00:21,075 --> 01:00:23,536
CROWD: (CHANTING)
Eagle! Eagle!

1652
01:00:23,911 --> 01:00:25,163
Stop it!

1653
01:00:25,663 --> 01:00:26,831
Stop it!

1654
01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:31,044
MAN 2:
Come on, Sally, choose Handy!

1655
01:00:31,127 --> 01:00:32,378
REPORTER:
Which one is it gonna be?

1656
01:00:32,462 --> 01:00:35,131
CROWD: (CHANTING)
Handy! Handy!

1657
01:00:35,214 --> 01:00:36,215
Sally!

1658
01:00:38,426 --> 01:00:39,886
Sally.

1659
01:00:39,969 --> 01:00:42,138
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Look out.

1660
01:00:42,221 --> 01:00:44,724
(CHANTING CONTINUES)

1661
01:00:47,477 --> 01:00:51,230
Sally! Sally! Sally.

1662
01:00:51,314 --> 01:00:52,315
Are you crazy?

1663
01:00:52,398 --> 01:00:53,358
Look, you didn't
answer the phone

1664
01:00:53,441 --> 01:00:54,984
and you took the key
out of the frog.

1665
01:00:55,068 --> 01:00:56,527
I can't believe you did that.
I just can't. I can't believe you.

1666
01:00:56,611 --> 01:00:57,945
How about what
I said up there? Doesn't that mean anything?

1667
01:00:58,029 --> 01:00:59,113
I heard you talking
about my underwear

1668
01:00:59,197 --> 01:01:00,531
in front of the whole
town, yes, I did.

1669
01:01:00,615 --> 01:01:02,867
The whole country.
That's how much I care.

1670
01:01:02,950 --> 01:01:04,827
Wait a minute.
You didn't answer the question.

1671
01:01:04,911 --> 01:01:05,870
What question?

1672
01:01:05,953 --> 01:01:06,954
Is it me or him?

1673
01:01:07,038 --> 01:01:08,373
Is it me or your new truck?

1674
01:01:08,456 --> 01:01:10,708
Don't try to make this
about me, Handy.

1675
01:01:10,792 --> 01:01:11,709
It's about you.

1676
01:01:11,793 --> 01:01:13,878
How? How is that
about me? How...

1677
01:01:14,462 --> 01:01:18,091
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

1678
01:01:18,174 --> 01:01:20,134
Man, she pushed
you right down.

1679
01:01:20,218 --> 01:01:21,761
Yeah, she's stronger than me.

1680
01:01:22,887 --> 01:01:24,806
<i>It's not about me.</i>
<i>It's about you.</i>

1681
01:01:24,889 --> 01:01:26,516
<i>How? How is it about me?</i>

1682
01:01:26,599 --> 01:01:28,434
(GRUNTING)

1683
01:01:28,518 --> 01:01:30,436
REPORTER:
<i>Well, you heard it here first.</i>

1684
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:32,772
<i>It looks like Sally</i>
<i>is going to cast her ballot</i>

1685
01:01:32,855 --> 01:01:34,649
<i>in favor of the president.</i>

1686
01:01:34,732 --> 01:01:36,818
<i>I'm Christy Adams, TVNN News.</i>

1687
01:01:36,901 --> 01:01:38,069
(LAUGHING)

1688
01:01:38,152 --> 01:01:39,821
Yeah, baby,
you're going down.

1689
01:01:40,863 --> 01:01:42,115
So, what do you think?

1690
01:01:42,198 --> 01:01:44,242
Should I set up
another date, or what?

1691
01:01:44,325 --> 01:01:45,410
Why not?

1692
01:01:45,493 --> 01:01:46,661
Excuse me.

1693
01:01:47,161 --> 01:01:48,371
Grace?

1694
01:01:48,830 --> 01:01:49,747
Grace?

1695
01:01:49,831 --> 01:01:51,416
Well, what's her problem?

1696
01:01:51,499 --> 01:01:53,751
BERT: Maybe she saw
the numbers.

1697
01:01:53,835 --> 01:01:55,461
You may have done
all right with the girl,

1698
01:01:55,545 --> 01:01:57,171
but the debate
was a disaster.

1699
01:01:57,255 --> 01:01:59,298
What are you talking about?
This is impossible.

1700
01:01:59,382 --> 01:02:01,050
It's a small town, Eagle.

1701
01:02:01,134 --> 01:02:02,969
The rules are
different here.

1702
01:02:04,137 --> 01:02:06,139
Uh... well, you guys
are the hotshots.

1703
01:02:06,222 --> 01:02:07,598
Brainstorm.

1704
01:02:09,058 --> 01:02:10,017
Well?

1705
01:02:10,101 --> 01:02:11,144
(CLEARS THROAT)

1706
01:02:11,227 --> 01:02:12,812
Uh... sir...

1707
01:02:12,895 --> 01:02:14,939
(CLEARS THROAT):
Uh, excuse me, Mr. President?

1708
01:02:15,022 --> 01:02:16,107
Yes?

1709
01:02:16,190 --> 01:02:17,942
We could eliminate him.

1710
01:02:18,025 --> 01:02:19,485
What?

1711
01:02:19,569 --> 01:02:21,446
You want to make it look
like a accident, of course,

1712
01:02:21,529 --> 01:02:23,656
but, uh, maybe his
brakes could go out.

1713
01:02:24,031 --> 01:02:25,324
Oh, my God.

1714
01:02:25,408 --> 01:02:26,951
Or he could slip
on an oil slick.

1715
01:02:27,034 --> 01:02:28,995
What, are you insane?

1716
01:02:29,078 --> 01:02:30,371
Uh, no, sir, I was...

1717
01:02:30,455 --> 01:02:32,039
I was just
brainstorming.

1718
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,793
Did I misunderstand
the question?

1719
01:02:35,877 --> 01:02:38,004
Thank God you guys
are on our side.

1720
01:02:38,087 --> 01:02:39,839
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.

1721
01:02:39,922 --> 01:02:41,591
(CHUCKLES)

1722
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:46,929
Uh...

1723
01:02:47,013 --> 01:02:47,972
Hello.

1724
01:02:48,055 --> 01:02:52,143
Uh... small town politics.

1725
01:02:57,023 --> 01:02:58,316
(SIGHS)

1726
01:03:01,486 --> 01:03:04,238
I like three sugars.
You only need one.

1727
01:03:04,322 --> 01:03:07,200
I like three.
Three's unhealthy.

1728
01:03:07,283 --> 01:03:09,160
What's eating you?
Eating me?

1729
01:03:09,243 --> 01:03:10,953
Yes. Somehow
you seem irked.

1730
01:03:11,037 --> 01:03:12,872
Irked? Really?
Irked.

1731
01:03:12,955 --> 01:03:14,123
Really.

1732
01:03:14,207 --> 01:03:15,833
Well, actually
I am a little bit irked,

1733
01:03:15,917 --> 01:03:17,126
now that you mention it.

1734
01:03:18,878 --> 01:03:20,296
Would you like to know why?

1735
01:03:20,379 --> 01:03:21,422
Absolutely.

1736
01:03:21,506 --> 01:03:24,634
Sit down there, Grace,
and just tell me all about it,

1737
01:03:24,717 --> 01:03:26,052
okay?

1738
01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:28,471
Well...

1739
01:03:29,472 --> 01:03:30,723
When you...

1740
01:03:30,806 --> 01:03:32,725
When we first came
to live here...

1741
01:03:32,808 --> 01:03:33,726
Yes?
I...

1742
01:03:33,809 --> 01:03:34,894
BULLARD:
Excuse me, Mr. President.

1743
01:03:34,977 --> 01:03:36,312
Excuse me. Could we have
a minute here, please?

1744
01:03:36,395 --> 01:03:38,814
Sorry, Eagle,
we have an emergency.

1745
01:03:38,898 --> 01:03:41,108
COLE:
Unless somebody's dying, Bert, I don't want to hear about it.

1746
01:03:41,192 --> 01:03:42,568
It's Charlotte.

1747
01:03:42,652 --> 01:03:44,612
She's coming here.

1748
01:03:44,695 --> 01:03:47,573
CHARLOTTE:
Howdy. Handy for mayor.

1749
01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:49,700
Vote for Handy.
Go to court...

1750
01:03:49,784 --> 01:03:50,785
That's right. Uh-huh.

1751
01:03:50,868 --> 01:03:51,994
...get a restraining order.

1752
01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:53,996
Come on, people, we got
to do something about this.

1753
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:55,206
The sure way, sir?

1754
01:03:55,289 --> 01:03:57,708
Dyer, this
is too smart for her.

1755
01:03:57,792 --> 01:04:01,045
Who thought of this?
It was him, wasn't it? Yeah.

1756
01:04:01,712 --> 01:04:03,923
Grace, I'll handle this.

1757
01:04:06,300 --> 01:04:07,593
CHARLOTTE:
Vote for Handy.

1758
01:04:08,302 --> 01:04:09,887
I had dignity once.

1759
01:04:10,846 --> 01:04:12,848
Does anybody remember that?

1760
01:04:16,936 --> 01:04:18,563
CHARLOTTE:
Handy for mayor.

1761
01:04:20,523 --> 01:04:21,899
(SHOUTING QUESTIONS)

1762
01:04:21,983 --> 01:04:24,235
Did Handy put
you up to this?

1763
01:04:24,318 --> 01:04:26,904
Hello, Monroe.
What brought you here?

1764
01:04:26,988 --> 01:04:29,740
Charlotte, hon, could we
talk in private, please?

1765
01:04:29,824 --> 01:04:31,742
This is as private
as I got for 20 years.

1766
01:04:31,826 --> 01:04:32,868
What's on your mind?

1767
01:04:32,952 --> 01:04:34,620
Well, sweetie, if, uh,
we could just talk alone,

1768
01:04:34,704 --> 01:04:37,081
I'm sure we could
work something out. Howdy. Handy for mayor.

1769
01:04:37,164 --> 01:04:39,792
Honeybunch, uh, could
we go inside, please?

1770
01:04:40,710 --> 01:04:41,794
Fine.

1771
01:04:41,877 --> 01:04:44,213
REPORTER:
Why do you think she's here, Mr. President?

1772
01:04:45,339 --> 01:04:47,008
Okay, Neil, that
ought to do it.

1773
01:04:47,091 --> 01:04:48,009
President's coming.

1774
01:04:48,092 --> 01:04:50,428
Better hide
the payroll benefits.

1775
01:04:50,511 --> 01:04:52,430
Charlotte, would you step
into my office?

1776
01:04:52,513 --> 01:04:53,639
Yes, dear.

1777
01:04:57,018 --> 01:04:57,893
Charlotte...

1778
01:04:57,977 --> 01:04:59,562
Married couples have
a shorthand, Monroe.

1779
01:04:59,645 --> 01:05:01,355
Ours is $9 million.

1780
01:05:01,439 --> 01:05:02,857
Nine?
I don't have it!

1781
01:05:02,940 --> 01:05:04,150
Twenty-five years.

1782
01:05:04,233 --> 01:05:06,444
A quarter of a century
I endured,

1783
01:05:06,527 --> 01:05:07,945
and now you're
pleading poverty?

1784
01:05:08,029 --> 01:05:09,739
You took the house.
You took the boat.

1785
01:05:09,822 --> 01:05:12,074
You've taken everything
but my title!

1786
01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:13,117
Hello, this is former

1787
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:14,994
First Lady
Charlotte Cole.

1788
01:05:15,077 --> 01:05:16,579
I spent 25 years

1789
01:05:16,662 --> 01:05:18,122
with Monroe Cole, which is why

1790
01:05:18,205 --> 01:05:20,374
I'm supporting
Handy Harrison.

1791
01:05:20,458 --> 01:05:21,667
Yes,
you heard me.

1792
01:05:21,751 --> 01:05:24,211
I'm supporting
Handy Harrison.

1793
01:05:24,295 --> 01:05:25,296
Eagle?

1794
01:05:26,213 --> 01:05:27,173
(SCREAMS)

1795
01:05:27,256 --> 01:05:28,382
(SCREAMING)

1796
01:05:30,801 --> 01:05:33,054
Have I gotten through
to you, lambkins?

1797
01:05:35,139 --> 01:05:38,017
I never thought you'd stoop
this low, Harrison.

1798
01:05:38,100 --> 01:05:39,810
I thought this was going
to be a fair fight

1799
01:05:39,894 --> 01:05:42,104
between two honorable men,
but I can see now

1800
01:05:42,188 --> 01:05:44,732
that I'm up against somebody
who doesn't play by the rules.

1801
01:05:44,815 --> 01:05:46,484
No, I don't...
Have you no sense of decency, sir?

1802
01:05:46,567 --> 01:05:48,694
I'm sorry.
Talk about hitting below the belt.

1803
01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:50,738
Bringing a man's ex-wife
into it.

1804
01:05:50,821 --> 01:05:53,908
You're showing
your true colors, aren't you?

1805
01:05:53,991 --> 01:05:55,576
Hey!

1806
01:05:55,660 --> 01:05:57,828
I had nothing to do with it!

1807
01:05:57,912 --> 01:05:59,580
Mr. President?
Watch your back.

1808
01:05:59,664 --> 01:06:01,499
That's it. I've had it.

1809
01:06:02,041 --> 01:06:03,250
I want them both.

1810
01:06:03,334 --> 01:06:05,294
I want you to be thinking
about a way to do it, Dyer.

1811
01:06:05,378 --> 01:06:06,587
Coming through.
Sir.

1812
01:06:06,671 --> 01:06:08,339
Is he...
Is he serious? No! No! No!

1813
01:06:08,422 --> 01:06:09,590
'Cause I thought of...

1814
01:06:09,674 --> 01:06:11,842
Mr. President,
you want a fair fight? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1815
01:06:11,926 --> 01:06:15,388
You just called me
dishonorable, sir, and-and-and I'm not.

1816
01:06:15,471 --> 01:06:17,765
So if it's a fair fight
you want,

1817
01:06:18,474 --> 01:06:20,101
just you and me,

1818
01:06:21,018 --> 01:06:22,561
I think I know the place.

1819
01:06:30,069 --> 01:06:31,445
You're on.

1820
01:06:33,989 --> 01:06:36,367
What are we doing
here, Harrison?

1821
01:06:36,450 --> 01:06:38,744
What are the stakes?
Mayor?

1822
01:06:38,828 --> 01:06:39,870
(CHUCKLES)

1823
01:06:39,954 --> 01:06:42,373
No, sir. Sally.

1824
01:06:43,332 --> 01:06:45,334
Loser backs off of Sally.

1825
01:06:45,418 --> 01:06:47,920
We're both
ten handicaps, sir. Sir?

1826
01:06:48,003 --> 01:06:49,046
Fair fight.

1827
01:06:49,130 --> 01:06:50,423
You're on.

1828
01:06:50,506 --> 01:06:52,133
Uh, sir, if I could
just talk to you for a quick second.

1829
01:06:52,216 --> 01:06:53,467
Show me the way.

1830
01:06:53,551 --> 01:06:54,969
BULLARD:
Sir, uh,

1831
01:06:55,052 --> 01:06:56,887
there's something
I'd like to discuss with you about your ga...

1832
01:06:57,805 --> 01:06:59,014
Eye line.

1833
01:07:03,144 --> 01:07:04,145
COLE:
Nice shot.

1834
01:07:04,228 --> 01:07:05,312
HANDY:
Thank you.

1835
01:07:05,396 --> 01:07:06,397
A little bit left.

1836
01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:07,940
Right where
I was aiming.

1837
01:07:08,023 --> 01:07:09,567
I might drive
the green.

1838
01:07:09,650 --> 01:07:11,902
(CHUCKLES)

1839
01:07:13,988 --> 01:07:16,407
(HORN HONKS)

1840
01:07:16,490 --> 01:07:17,908
Hello!

1841
01:07:17,992 --> 01:07:19,243
Wait for me!

1842
01:07:21,579 --> 01:07:23,164
What are you doing here?

1843
01:07:23,247 --> 01:07:26,751
Just making sure
a fair fight's fair.

1844
01:07:26,834 --> 01:07:28,794
Call them out,
Mr. Dyer.

1845
01:07:29,462 --> 01:07:30,963
I'm, uh, sorry, ma'am?

1846
01:07:34,550 --> 01:07:36,761
(WHISTLES)

1847
01:07:37,762 --> 01:07:39,472
Cloud!

1848
01:07:39,555 --> 01:07:41,265
You and your men
come on out!

1849
01:07:42,933 --> 01:07:44,560
Oh, shit.

1850
01:07:44,643 --> 01:07:47,313
Come on!
I know you're there!

1851
01:07:50,733 --> 01:07:51,776
All right, come on out.

1852
01:07:52,526 --> 01:07:54,904
Everyone onto the fairway.

1853
01:07:57,198 --> 01:07:58,115
Let's move.

1854
01:07:58,199 --> 01:08:00,785
On the fairway.
On the fairway.

1855
01:08:00,868 --> 01:08:03,621
CLOUD:
We're securing the perimeter, Mrs. Cole!

1856
01:08:03,704 --> 01:08:06,624
Secure it
from there, okay?

1857
01:08:06,707 --> 01:08:07,875
Yes, ma'am.

1858
01:08:10,336 --> 01:08:11,921
Stay in position.

1859
01:08:12,004 --> 01:08:14,840
Hit away, lambkins.

1860
01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:28,312
Wait. Wait.
Wait for the bounce.

1861
01:08:32,983 --> 01:08:35,194
Damn. Take a mulligan.

1862
01:08:35,277 --> 01:08:37,029
We're playing
for a woman, sir.

1863
01:08:37,112 --> 01:08:38,280
There's no mulligans.

1864
01:08:38,364 --> 01:08:41,325
What?
What do I do?

1865
01:08:41,408 --> 01:08:43,202
You've never hit a ball
out of bounds before?

1866
01:08:43,285 --> 01:08:44,787
Not since I was governor.

1867
01:08:44,870 --> 01:08:48,499
You hit another one
from here, shooting three.

1868
01:08:48,582 --> 01:08:49,583
Three?

1869
01:08:49,667 --> 01:08:50,751
Three.

1870
01:08:51,210 --> 01:08:52,169
HANDY:
One,

1871
01:08:52,253 --> 01:08:55,881
two... shooting three.

1872
01:08:59,093 --> 01:09:00,719
(CLEARS THROAT)
Excuse me, Mr. President?

1873
01:09:00,803 --> 01:09:01,804
What?

1874
01:09:02,513 --> 01:09:04,223
You can't beat him, sir.

1875
01:09:04,306 --> 01:09:05,558
What are you
talking about?

1876
01:09:05,641 --> 01:09:06,892
We're the same
handicap.

1877
01:09:06,976 --> 01:09:09,562
Well, your handicap
is augmented.

1878
01:09:09,645 --> 01:09:11,188
What are you
trying to say?

1879
01:09:11,272 --> 01:09:13,399
Well, it was really
Miss Sutherland's idea.

1880
01:09:13,482 --> 01:09:16,944
Uh, she had Dyer and Cloud
and occasionally me,

1881
01:09:17,027 --> 01:09:18,279
uh, we helped you

1882
01:09:18,362 --> 01:09:21,365
with lucky bounces
and scorecard fudging.

1883
01:09:21,448 --> 01:09:24,159
Uh, and you can't
beat him, sir.

1884
01:09:24,243 --> 01:09:25,369
Is there a problem?

1885
01:09:27,246 --> 01:09:28,330
No.

1886
01:09:31,917 --> 01:09:33,419
No problem.

1887
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:44,388
Ah. That one's in.

1888
01:09:44,471 --> 01:09:47,016
Didn't quite
get it on the green.

1889
01:09:47,099 --> 01:09:48,559
(BITTER, WRY LAUGH)

1890
01:09:48,642 --> 01:09:50,936
I'll-I'll take it.

1891
01:09:51,020 --> 01:09:52,771
You two have helped enough.

1892
01:09:55,441 --> 01:09:57,234
(GOLF ANNOUNCER
SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

1893
01:09:57,318 --> 01:10:00,154
(HUMMING)

1894
01:10:00,237 --> 01:10:02,448
Hi, Peggy.
Can I get a black coffee?

1895
01:10:02,531 --> 01:10:03,824
Sure.

1896
01:10:05,159 --> 01:10:06,160
Hello.

1897
01:10:06,243 --> 01:10:07,286
Hello.

1898
01:10:08,287 --> 01:10:09,330
Here you are, dear.

1899
01:10:09,413 --> 01:10:10,831
Thanks.

1900
01:10:13,208 --> 01:10:16,587
So I hear they're
golfing for mayor.

1901
01:10:16,670 --> 01:10:20,549
Actually...
they're golfing for you.

1902
01:10:21,050 --> 01:10:22,051
No.

1903
01:10:22,134 --> 01:10:23,427
Yeah.

1904
01:10:23,510 --> 01:10:24,803
No.
Mm.

1905
01:10:26,722 --> 01:10:28,557
Can I make this
an Irish coffee?

1906
01:10:29,224 --> 01:10:30,726
This okay?

1907
01:10:41,487 --> 01:10:42,905
Just...

1908
01:10:47,242 --> 01:10:48,911
(CLEARS THROAT)

1909
01:10:52,373 --> 01:10:55,542
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

1910
01:10:59,755 --> 01:11:02,174
Oh, that's, uh, five.

1911
01:11:02,257 --> 01:11:03,259
(COUNTER CLICKS)

1912
01:11:07,638 --> 01:11:08,639
(COUNTER CLICKS)

1913
01:11:08,722 --> 01:11:09,682
That was a gimme.

1914
01:11:09,765 --> 01:11:11,684
No, no, no.
There are no gimmes.

1915
01:11:11,767 --> 01:11:13,143
It was inside the leather.

1916
01:11:13,227 --> 01:11:14,895
Yeah, you got to
get it in the hole.

1917
01:11:15,604 --> 01:11:16,981
(SIGHS)

1918
01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:22,277
(COUNTER CLICKS)

1919
01:11:22,361 --> 01:11:24,071
I'll take a seven.

1920
01:11:24,154 --> 01:11:26,073
Actually, it's 15.

1921
01:11:26,699 --> 01:11:27,658
Fifteen?

1922
01:11:27,741 --> 01:11:29,159
(CHUCKLES)
No way.

1923
01:11:29,243 --> 01:11:30,411
Yes, way.

1924
01:11:30,494 --> 01:11:32,079
Uh, the president
is right. It's seven.

1925
01:11:32,162 --> 01:11:33,163
Yeah, it was seven.

1926
01:11:33,247 --> 01:11:34,999
Well, let's count them.
Let's count them.

1927
01:11:35,082 --> 01:11:36,125
One, out of bounds.

1928
01:11:36,208 --> 01:11:37,918
<i>Two, back on the tee.</i>

1929
01:11:38,002 --> 01:11:39,586
<i>Three, in the rough.</i>

1930
01:11:39,670 --> 01:11:41,130
Four, in the sand.

1931
01:11:42,339 --> 01:11:44,383
<i>Five, you missed completely.</i>

1932
01:11:44,466 --> 01:11:45,718
Oh.
(CLICKS)

1933
01:11:45,801 --> 01:11:49,555
<i>Six, uh, almost out of</i>
<i>the sand, but still in it.</i>

1934
01:11:50,681 --> 01:11:54,768
<i>Seven, finally, out of</i>
<i>the sand into that sand.</i>

1935
01:11:54,852 --> 01:11:55,811
(CLICKS)

1936
01:11:55,894 --> 01:11:58,480
Eight, out of the sand
into the rough.

1937
01:11:58,564 --> 01:12:01,025
<i>That's when you</i>
<i>threw your club at the tree.</i>

1938
01:12:01,942 --> 01:12:03,902
Yeah, yeah.

1939
01:12:03,986 --> 01:12:06,280
<i>Nine, you almost hit me.</i>

1940
01:12:06,363 --> 01:12:07,781
<i>Ten, you did hit me.</i>

1941
01:12:07,865 --> 01:12:09,199
(GRUNTS)

1942
01:12:11,076 --> 01:12:12,286
(CLICKS)

1943
01:12:12,369 --> 01:12:13,829
Eleven, on the green.

1944
01:12:13,912 --> 01:12:16,623
Uh, 12, you putt
to six feet past the hole.

1945
01:12:16,707 --> 01:12:18,792
That's when you said
that curse that I've

1946
01:12:18,876 --> 01:12:20,919
<i>never heard before.</i>
(GRUMBLING)

1947
01:12:21,003 --> 01:12:23,172
Thirteen, you putt
to one foot from the hole.

1948
01:12:23,255 --> 01:12:24,923
<i>Fourteen, you missed</i>
<i>the putt.</i>

1949
01:12:25,007 --> 01:12:26,091
<i>You said, "That's a gimme."</i>

1950
01:12:26,175 --> 01:12:28,135
<i>I said, "No,</i>
<i>there are no gimmes."</i>

1951
01:12:28,218 --> 01:12:30,637
Fifteen, in the hole.

1952
01:12:30,721 --> 01:12:31,930
(SIGHS)

1953
01:12:32,639 --> 01:12:34,099
Fifteen.

1954
01:12:34,183 --> 01:12:36,643
SALLY: (LAUGHING)
That was so close.

1955
01:12:36,727 --> 01:12:39,605
GRACE: (LAUGHING)
Okay. All right.

1956
01:12:39,688 --> 01:12:40,731
Now...
Okay.

1957
01:12:40,814 --> 01:12:44,068
through... the sugars...
Mm-hmm.

1958
01:12:44,151 --> 01:12:48,030
And then around
the saucer... Mm-hmm.

1959
01:12:48,113 --> 01:12:51,033
And through
the ketchup tunnel. Mm.

1960
01:12:51,116 --> 01:12:54,495
And the winner gets
Morris Gutman.

1961
01:12:54,578 --> 01:12:55,579
Married.

1962
01:12:55,662 --> 01:12:57,372
Oh. Kent.

1963
01:12:57,456 --> 01:12:59,375
(GRACE AND SALLY LAUGHING)

1964
01:12:59,458 --> 01:13:02,294
Are you just
trying to get me to throw the match?

1965
01:13:02,377 --> 01:13:03,796
(LAUGHING)

1966
01:13:03,879 --> 01:13:04,963
Reuben.

1967
01:13:05,047 --> 01:13:06,298
Who? Who's Reuben?
Reuben.

1968
01:13:06,381 --> 01:13:09,009
(LOUDLY) "I said
get the president!"

1969
01:13:09,093 --> 01:13:12,012
GRACE: (LAUGHING)
That's a great idea.

1970
01:13:12,096 --> 01:13:13,097
The winner...

1971
01:13:13,180 --> 01:13:14,848
BOTH: Gets Reuben.

1972
01:13:14,932 --> 01:13:16,141
Ready?

1973
01:13:20,020 --> 01:13:23,273
(BOTH LAUGHING)

1974
01:13:24,149 --> 01:13:26,360
Oh, my God.
That must mean a do-over.

1975
01:13:27,694 --> 01:13:29,071
COLE:
Okay, Handy,

1976
01:13:29,154 --> 01:13:31,740
you're up about
a million strokes.

1977
01:13:31,824 --> 01:13:33,450
It's the last hole.

1978
01:13:33,534 --> 01:13:34,952
How about double
or nothing?

1979
01:13:35,035 --> 01:13:36,870
What's double?
What's nothing?

1980
01:13:36,954 --> 01:13:38,831
(PANTING)
Well, nothing is, uh...

1981
01:13:39,331 --> 01:13:40,999
we're even. Tie.

1982
01:13:41,083 --> 01:13:42,417
Status quo.

1983
01:13:42,501 --> 01:13:45,504
Uh, double would be, uh,
I back off Sally,

1984
01:13:45,587 --> 01:13:46,839
drop out of the mayor's race.

1985
01:13:47,923 --> 01:13:49,299
You got it.

1986
01:13:49,383 --> 01:13:51,343
Okay. Go ahead.
You hit.

1987
01:13:51,426 --> 01:13:53,512
But, you know...

1988
01:13:53,595 --> 01:13:56,557
if I'm gonna risk, uh,
all that...

1989
01:13:58,183 --> 01:13:59,226
you gotta
give me something.

1990
01:13:59,309 --> 01:14:00,894
You-you got to, uh...

1991
01:14:00,978 --> 01:14:03,063
Oh, I don't know, uh...

1992
01:14:03,522 --> 01:14:04,690
What?

1993
01:14:04,773 --> 01:14:06,233
One throw.

1994
01:14:06,316 --> 01:14:07,484
Throw?

1995
01:14:07,568 --> 01:14:11,029
Yeah, I-I get one throw,
because I can't play you even.

1996
01:14:11,113 --> 01:14:13,490
You got local knowledge here.
You're killing me.

1997
01:14:13,574 --> 01:14:15,284
CHARLOTTE:
He can't throw, either.

1998
01:14:15,367 --> 01:14:16,493
Bury him.

1999
01:14:18,078 --> 01:14:20,456
Okay, you get one throw,
but...

2000
01:14:20,539 --> 01:14:23,625
if we tie... I win.

2001
01:14:23,709 --> 01:14:26,086
Well, you...
drive a hard bargain.

2002
01:14:26,503 --> 01:14:27,713
Okay.

2003
01:14:37,931 --> 01:14:40,350
COLE: (CHUCKLES)
Yeah, baby.

2004
01:14:40,434 --> 01:14:42,227
There's the
old form back.

2005
01:14:42,936 --> 01:14:44,229
Okay.

2006
01:14:46,148 --> 01:14:49,026
(BULLARD CLEARS THROAT)

2007
01:14:50,235 --> 01:14:53,280
(BIRD HOOTING SOFTLY)

2008
01:14:55,782 --> 01:14:57,367
HANDY:
What?

2009
01:14:57,451 --> 01:14:59,203
Hey. Wh-What are you doing?

2010
01:14:59,870 --> 01:15:00,871
Hey!

2011
01:15:00,954 --> 01:15:02,039
What's that?

2012
01:15:04,166 --> 01:15:06,668
I said one throw,
I didn't say whose ball.

2013
01:15:08,587 --> 01:15:09,880
(GASPS)

2014
01:15:09,963 --> 01:15:11,840
You're out of bounds.

2015
01:15:11,924 --> 01:15:14,343
Click, click, click.

2016
01:15:14,426 --> 01:15:15,469
(CHUCKLES)

2017
01:15:15,552 --> 01:15:18,096
(PHONE RINGING)

2018
01:15:18,180 --> 01:15:19,264
Morning, sir.

2019
01:15:19,348 --> 01:15:20,349
Everything all right?

2020
01:15:20,432 --> 01:15:21,767
Oh, just dandy.

2021
01:15:21,850 --> 01:15:24,895
I'm a ten handicap,
and I shot a 142.

2022
01:15:24,978 --> 01:15:26,355
You and I have to have
a serious talk

2023
01:15:26,438 --> 01:15:28,440
about my handicap,
Miss Sutherland.

2024
01:15:28,982 --> 01:15:30,817
Now, Mr. President?

2025
01:15:31,443 --> 01:15:32,444
Later.

2026
01:15:32,527 --> 01:15:34,071
I heard you broke even.

2027
01:15:34,154 --> 01:15:35,405
At least you didn't lose.

2028
01:15:35,489 --> 01:15:37,824
The most humiliating
round of my life.

2029
01:15:37,908 --> 01:15:39,743
Time to take
the gloves off, Bert.

2030
01:15:39,826 --> 01:15:40,869
Let's bury this guy.

2031
01:15:40,953 --> 01:15:43,205
Well, sir,
he's clean as a whistle.

2032
01:15:43,288 --> 01:15:44,915
Oh, come on.
Surely he did something.

2033
01:15:44,998 --> 01:15:48,168
Uh, knocked up a local?
Grew marijuana?

2034
01:15:48,252 --> 01:15:50,170
(CHUCKLES):
Hell, I grew marijuana.

2035
01:15:50,254 --> 01:15:53,131
We'll find dirt, Eagle,
even if we have

2036
01:15:53,215 --> 01:15:54,424
to make it up.

2037
01:15:54,508 --> 01:15:55,467
Exactly.

2038
01:15:55,550 --> 01:15:56,885
I don't believe this.

2039
01:15:57,427 --> 01:15:58,804
What?

2040
01:16:00,264 --> 01:16:02,224
Mr. President...
(CLEARS THROAT)

2041
01:16:02,307 --> 01:16:04,726
I'm giving my notice.
Your notice?

2042
01:16:04,810 --> 01:16:07,354
Yes. I can't work
here any longer.

2043
01:16:07,437 --> 01:16:09,064
Are you drunk,
for God's sakes?

2044
01:16:09,147 --> 01:16:11,066
We've been together 15 years.

2045
01:16:11,149 --> 01:16:12,359
Yes, exactly.

2046
01:16:12,442 --> 01:16:13,694
And in all that time,

2047
01:16:13,777 --> 01:16:16,196
you have never once
gone negative,

2048
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:17,948
at least not first.

2049
01:16:18,031 --> 01:16:22,953
And you have never,
ever stooped to threats or... harassment.

2050
01:16:23,036 --> 01:16:25,080
Grace, he brought in
Charlotte.

2051
01:16:25,163 --> 01:16:27,833
Charlotte. If that's
not harassment, what is?

2052
01:16:27,916 --> 01:16:31,920
Mr. President,
you have two days...

2053
01:16:32,004 --> 01:16:34,423
two hours and 21 minutes

2054
01:16:34,506 --> 01:16:36,675
until this election is over,

2055
01:16:36,758 --> 01:16:39,177
and then... I'm gone.

2056
01:16:43,223 --> 01:16:44,850
What's that?

2057
01:16:44,933 --> 01:16:46,518
I think she quit, sir.

2058
01:16:46,601 --> 01:16:47,894
Not that. That.

2059
01:16:49,187 --> 01:16:50,939
Oh, this? It's the new poll.

2060
01:16:51,023 --> 01:16:52,024
Five points.

2061
01:16:52,107 --> 01:16:53,108
Five?

2062
01:16:53,608 --> 01:16:54,568
Down.

2063
01:16:54,651 --> 01:16:56,862
What's the sample size?

2064
01:16:56,945 --> 01:16:59,031
Well, come on, Bert,
what's the sample size?

2065
01:17:00,157 --> 01:17:01,491
Everybody.

2066
01:17:01,575 --> 01:17:04,202
Everybody?
This is a disaster!

2067
01:17:04,286 --> 01:17:05,704
Not to pile on, sir,
but I'm worried

2068
01:17:05,787 --> 01:17:07,039
about the book deals, too.

2069
01:17:07,122 --> 01:17:08,415
COLE:
Aw, crap!

2070
01:17:08,498 --> 01:17:10,959
It's like some
mythic Greek puzzle.

2071
01:17:11,043 --> 01:17:12,377
The riddle of the handyman.

2072
01:17:12,461 --> 01:17:14,296
Somewhere, the answer.

2073
01:17:14,379 --> 01:17:16,506
Sir, let's not panic.
This isn't over.

2074
01:17:16,590 --> 01:17:17,883
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

2075
01:17:18,717 --> 01:17:20,260
What's wrong with us?

2076
01:17:20,344 --> 01:17:21,345
BOTH: What?

2077
01:17:21,428 --> 01:17:23,680
I'll give it to him.
It's that simple.

2078
01:17:23,764 --> 01:17:25,557
Wait, you don't mean quit.

2079
01:17:25,640 --> 01:17:27,267
You can't quit, Eagle.

2080
01:17:27,351 --> 01:17:29,561
No, I wouldn't be quitting.
That's the beauty of it.

2081
01:17:29,644 --> 01:17:31,146
I'll-I'll say
how qualified he is,

2082
01:17:31,229 --> 01:17:32,898
how he's the best man
for the job,

2083
01:17:32,981 --> 01:17:35,859
and tonight at the debate,
I'll throw him my support.

2084
01:17:35,942 --> 01:17:38,236
And if I win, I win,
but if I lose,

2085
01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:40,655
it's because I made
the most magnanimous gesture

2086
01:17:40,739 --> 01:17:42,616
in political history.

2087
01:17:42,699 --> 01:17:44,701
And people took my advice.

2088
01:17:45,661 --> 01:17:46,870
It's brilliant, sir.

2089
01:17:46,953 --> 01:17:48,121
Thank you.

2090
01:17:49,164 --> 01:17:51,124
And then I'd
get the girl, uh...

2091
01:17:51,208 --> 01:17:53,001
Uh...
Sally.

2092
01:17:53,627 --> 01:17:55,337
Sally. Right.

2093
01:18:01,301 --> 01:18:03,887
Sally, hey, hi.
I'm-I'm here. (BARKS)

2094
01:18:04,805 --> 01:18:06,098
I'm-I'm...

2095
01:18:06,181 --> 01:18:08,350
getting ready for the debate.
Oh.

2096
01:18:08,433 --> 01:18:09,768
You... want to come in?

2097
01:18:09,851 --> 01:18:10,852
No, I'm gonna get going.

2098
01:18:10,936 --> 01:18:12,771
(DOG WHINES)
See ya.

2099
01:18:12,854 --> 01:18:15,482
Well, hold it.
What... what's going on?

2100
01:18:16,566 --> 01:18:17,859
What's all this stuff?

2101
01:18:17,943 --> 01:18:19,194
(SIGHS):
Oh...

2102
01:18:19,277 --> 01:18:20,529
I, um...

2103
01:18:21,446 --> 01:18:23,698
I won Reuben
in a putting contest,

2104
01:18:23,782 --> 01:18:25,784
so I have to make room
for some of his stuff.

2105
01:18:25,867 --> 01:18:27,661
You... what?

2106
01:18:27,744 --> 01:18:29,121
I know.

2107
01:18:29,204 --> 01:18:31,039
I mean, can you imagine

2108
01:18:31,123 --> 01:18:34,042
someone actually playing golf
to win a person?

2109
01:18:35,710 --> 01:18:36,753
No. Look...

2110
01:18:36,837 --> 01:18:38,839
No. Don't insult me by
trying to defend this,

2111
01:18:38,922 --> 01:18:40,298
'cause if I let myself
dwell on it,

2112
01:18:40,382 --> 01:18:42,050
I am really gonna
just lose it.

2113
01:18:42,134 --> 01:18:45,429
But look, Sally,
it wasn't... easy. I said no.

2114
01:18:45,512 --> 01:18:47,931
I just want to settle this
amicably, okay?

2115
01:18:48,014 --> 01:18:49,391
There's your stuff.

2116
01:18:49,474 --> 01:18:51,143
My stuff? Well...

2117
01:18:51,226 --> 01:18:53,437
Hold on, hold on.
This is yours.

2118
01:18:55,772 --> 01:18:56,940
Remember?

2119
01:18:57,023 --> 01:18:58,733
From me.

2120
01:18:58,817 --> 01:19:00,068
Christmas.

2121
01:19:01,695 --> 01:19:03,321
Don't you remember,
it was...

2122
01:19:03,405 --> 01:19:04,865
that was the year
the power went out.

2123
01:19:04,948 --> 01:19:07,242
We had that
big snowstorm, and...

2124
01:19:07,325 --> 01:19:09,327
and we were so frustrated.

2125
01:19:09,411 --> 01:19:10,746
We couldn't turn this on

2126
01:19:10,829 --> 01:19:13,165
and watch it.

2127
01:19:13,248 --> 01:19:17,002
And the power came back,
and we turned it on, and...

2128
01:19:18,753 --> 01:19:20,714
and you looked
so beautiful

2129
01:19:21,548 --> 01:19:23,341
by the light of it.

2130
01:19:24,092 --> 01:19:25,510
And then we...

2131
01:19:26,887 --> 01:19:28,305
you know...

2132
01:19:29,598 --> 01:19:31,099
by the light of it.

2133
01:19:31,808 --> 01:19:33,351
I remember.

2134
01:19:35,437 --> 01:19:37,772
And then we stayed up
all night and talked.

2135
01:19:37,856 --> 01:19:39,774
Yeah. Yeah.

2136
01:19:41,359 --> 01:19:43,278
Do you remember
what we talked about?

2137
01:19:46,406 --> 01:19:47,407
(MOUTHING) No.

2138
01:19:48,575 --> 01:19:50,118
The future.

2139
01:19:51,119 --> 01:19:53,705
We talked about
the future, Handy.

2140
01:20:00,545 --> 01:20:01,671
Sally, wait.

2141
01:20:04,257 --> 01:20:05,967
I don't want to wait anymore.

2142
01:20:07,427 --> 01:20:09,054
Good luck at the debate.

2143
01:20:09,137 --> 01:20:10,222
Are you coming?

2144
01:20:18,772 --> 01:20:20,649
She's not coming.

2145
01:20:23,109 --> 01:20:26,112
(CROWD CHATTERING)

2146
01:20:37,332 --> 01:20:38,250
All right, guys, that's it.

2147
01:20:38,333 --> 01:20:40,585
Two minutes.
We go in two minutes.

2148
01:20:43,463 --> 01:20:45,131
Two minutes,
Mr. President.

2149
01:20:45,215 --> 01:20:46,466
Excuse me, sir.

2150
01:20:46,550 --> 01:20:48,426
My hands are shaking.
I can't even go to the bathroom,

2151
01:20:48,510 --> 01:20:50,929
I'll pee all over the place.
Relax, honey.

2152
01:20:51,012 --> 01:20:52,055
I'm not ready for this.

2153
01:20:52,138 --> 01:20:53,098
Two minutes, Handy.

2154
01:20:53,181 --> 01:20:54,683
Yeah. Thanks.
Be on your toes.

2155
01:20:54,766 --> 01:20:56,893
Be sharp. You may have
won the first debate,

2156
01:20:56,977 --> 01:20:58,603
but he's a python.

2157
01:20:58,687 --> 01:21:01,481
Gentlemen,
I believe we're ready.

2158
01:21:02,190 --> 01:21:03,275
It's starting!

2159
01:21:03,358 --> 01:21:05,318
TV ANNOUNCER:
<i>Live from the seaport town</i>

2160
01:21:05,402 --> 01:21:08,196
<i>of Mooseport, Maine,</i>
<i>the mayoral debates</i>

2161
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:11,157
<i>with your candidates,</i>
<i>Monroe "Eagle" Cole</i>

2162
01:21:11,241 --> 01:21:13,118
<i>and Harold "Handy" Harrison.</i>

2163
01:21:13,201 --> 01:21:16,705
<i>We take you now to your</i>
<i>moderator, Avery Hightower.</i>

2164
01:21:17,247 --> 01:21:19,499
(FANFARE PLAYING)

2165
01:21:19,583 --> 01:21:22,502
<i>Good evening.</i>
<i>I'm Avery Hightower.</i>

2166
01:21:22,586 --> 01:21:25,297
(APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING)

2167
01:21:25,380 --> 01:21:26,673
I am honored

2168
01:21:26,756 --> 01:21:32,721
to moderate
the second and final Mooseport mayoral debate.

2169
01:21:32,804 --> 01:21:34,180
MAN: All right!

2170
01:21:35,557 --> 01:21:37,976
As is tradition,
we will start with a game

2171
01:21:38,059 --> 01:21:40,020
of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

2172
01:21:40,103 --> 01:21:41,688
Handy! Not scissors.

2173
01:21:41,771 --> 01:21:42,731
(LAUGHTER)

2174
01:21:42,814 --> 01:21:44,024
Gentlemen.

2175
01:21:47,444 --> 01:21:49,279
Uh, Mr. Hightower,
could I...

2176
01:21:49,362 --> 01:21:50,780
I'd like to make
a statement first,

2177
01:21:50,864 --> 01:21:52,073
if that's okay.

2178
01:21:52,866 --> 01:21:54,034
Mr. President?

2179
01:21:54,117 --> 01:21:56,661
Well, that's fine.
Uh, uh, I have a statement also.

2180
01:21:56,745 --> 01:21:59,831
Just... Okay? Thank you.
All right, yes. Gentlemen.

2181
01:22:02,584 --> 01:22:04,210
<i>Hey. Hi, everybody.</i>

2182
01:22:04,294 --> 01:22:05,712
AUDIENCE:
Hi! Hi, Handy!

2183
01:22:05,795 --> 01:22:08,340
<i>I just want to</i>
<i>say one thing.</i>

2184
01:22:08,423 --> 01:22:10,425
<i>I'm a little embarrassed</i>

2185
01:22:10,508 --> 01:22:13,053
<i>about the way</i>
<i>I've been running my campaign.</i>

2186
01:22:13,136 --> 01:22:15,138
AUDIENCE: Aw...

2187
01:22:15,221 --> 01:22:16,348
HANDY:<i> An election,</i>

2188
01:22:16,431 --> 01:22:19,726
<i>it shouldn't be about</i>
<i>personalities, you know?</i>

2189
01:22:19,809 --> 01:22:20,852
<i>Or...</i>

2190
01:22:21,269 --> 01:22:22,437
<i>or golf...</i>

2191
01:22:22,520 --> 01:22:23,772
(SCATTERED LAUGHTER)

2192
01:22:23,855 --> 01:22:24,939
<i>Or who we're dating.</i>

2193
01:22:25,023 --> 01:22:26,107
(MURMURING)

2194
01:22:27,233 --> 01:22:29,944
<i>Sally, if you're</i>
<i>watching this...</i>

2195
01:22:31,154 --> 01:22:34,783
<i>I was wrong to bring</i>
<i>our relationship into this.</i>

2196
01:22:36,076 --> 01:22:37,285
<i>I'm sorry.</i>

2197
01:22:37,369 --> 01:22:39,412
(SIGHS)
<i>I guess I did it again.</i>

2198
01:22:39,496 --> 01:22:41,873
<i>I just brought</i>
<i>our relationship</i> <i>into it again.</i>

2199
01:22:41,956 --> 01:22:43,249
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

2200
01:22:43,333 --> 01:22:47,087
<i>S-So I'm sorry for that...</i>
<i>too.</i>

2201
01:22:47,170 --> 01:22:49,714
<i>I guess</i>
<i>what I wanna say,</i> <i>folks, is...</i>

2202
01:22:49,798 --> 01:22:51,883
<i>I think an election</i>
<i>should be about the town.</i>

2203
01:22:51,966 --> 01:22:54,386
<i>It should be about...</i>
<i>what we need</i>

2204
01:22:54,469 --> 01:22:57,639
and-and how
we can work together to get things done.

2205
01:22:57,722 --> 01:23:00,475
<i>The president can do</i>
<i>great things for us.</i>

2206
01:23:01,643 --> 01:23:03,395
Son of a bitch!

2207
01:23:03,478 --> 01:23:04,854
<i>Having him as a mayor,</i>

2208
01:23:04,938 --> 01:23:07,440
<i>that's an opportunity</i>
<i>that we can't pass up, folks.</i>

2209
01:23:07,524 --> 01:23:09,609
MAN: Yeah! That's right!

2210
01:23:09,693 --> 01:23:11,569
<i>Tomorrow morning,</i>

2211
01:23:11,653 --> 01:23:13,988
<i>I'm going to the polls,</i>

2212
01:23:14,072 --> 01:23:17,033
<i>and I'm casting my vote</i>
<i>for the president,</i>

2213
01:23:17,117 --> 01:23:19,285
<i>Monroe Cole,</i>

2214
01:23:19,369 --> 01:23:22,163
<i>for the mayor of Mooseport.</i>

2215
01:23:27,919 --> 01:23:29,754
Son of a bitch!

2216
01:23:32,006 --> 01:23:34,259
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

2217
01:23:34,342 --> 01:23:38,346
<i>what you've just seen</i>
<i>is a selfless act.</i>

2218
01:23:38,430 --> 01:23:40,682
(CHEERING)

2219
01:23:40,765 --> 01:23:42,642
<i>Handy Harrison...</i>

2220
01:23:42,726 --> 01:23:45,395
<i>is Mooseport.</i>

2221
01:23:45,478 --> 01:23:47,647
(CHEERING)

2222
01:23:47,731 --> 01:23:50,400
He is Mooseport.

2223
01:23:50,483 --> 01:23:52,277
<i>He knows its problems.</i>

2224
01:23:52,360 --> 01:23:54,571
<i>He knows its pulse.</i>

2225
01:23:54,654 --> 01:23:56,364
<i>He knows its plumbing.</i>

2226
01:23:56,448 --> 01:23:57,699
(LAUGHTER)

2227
01:23:57,782 --> 01:24:00,785
<i>As only a person</i>
<i>who lives here can.</i>

2228
01:24:00,869 --> 01:24:02,787
So tomorrow morning...

2229
01:24:04,372 --> 01:24:06,249
<i>I'm going to the polls,</i>

2230
01:24:06,332 --> 01:24:08,293
<i>and I'm walking</i>
<i>into that booth</i>

2231
01:24:08,376 --> 01:24:11,463
<i>and opening that ballot,</i>
<i>that simple piece of paper</i>

2232
01:24:11,546 --> 01:24:14,716
<i>that our forefathers</i>
<i>gave their lives to secure...</i>

2233
01:24:14,799 --> 01:24:16,593
(GRUNTS AND SIGHS)

2234
01:24:16,676 --> 01:24:19,387
<i>...and I'm casting my vote</i>
<i>for Harrison.</i>

2235
01:24:19,471 --> 01:24:21,055
(WOMAN YELLS)
<i>Harold "Handy" Harrison!</i>

2236
01:24:21,139 --> 01:24:22,223
<i>Let's hear it.</i>

2237
01:24:22,307 --> 01:24:24,726
(CHEERING)

2238
01:24:26,770 --> 01:24:29,272
(APPLAUSE, CHEERING
AND WHISTLING)

2239
01:24:31,316 --> 01:24:33,067
Man, he's good.
Mm-hmm.

2240
01:24:33,151 --> 01:24:36,404
(CHEERING AND WHISTLING
CONTINUE)

2241
01:24:39,032 --> 01:24:40,366
Well, what you've just seen,

2242
01:24:40,450 --> 01:24:43,161
ladies and gentlemen,
is politics at its finest,

2243
01:24:43,244 --> 01:24:44,954
politics as it should be.

2244
01:24:45,038 --> 01:24:46,080
(CHEERING)

2245
01:24:46,539 --> 01:24:48,082
You did good.

2246
01:24:48,500 --> 01:24:49,501
Harrison.

2247
01:24:49,584 --> 01:24:52,003
Hey, that was something,
Mr. President.

2248
01:24:52,086 --> 01:24:53,338
You son of a bitch!

2249
01:24:53,421 --> 01:24:55,673
You knew I was gonna do that,
so you did it first!

2250
01:24:55,757 --> 01:24:58,009
I didn't know that.
How could I know that? You bugged me!

2251
01:24:58,092 --> 01:25:00,970
And what we have
just witnessed here on this rare night...

2252
01:25:01,054 --> 01:25:02,055
Hey!
Bugged you?

2253
01:25:02,138 --> 01:25:03,306
You bugged me!
All right, Harrison, back off!

2254
01:25:03,389 --> 01:25:04,390
I'm not doing anything!

2255
01:25:04,474 --> 01:25:05,517
...is a show of decency.

2256
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:06,643
Let me go!

2257
01:25:06,726 --> 01:25:07,936
A show of inclusiveness.

2258
01:25:08,019 --> 01:25:09,354
Ow, let go of my arm!

2259
01:25:09,437 --> 01:25:10,438
(PEOPLE YELLING)

2260
01:25:10,522 --> 01:25:12,816
A show of mutual respect.

2261
01:25:12,899 --> 01:25:14,818
Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
Gentlemen!

2262
01:25:14,901 --> 01:25:16,194
Let go of me!

2263
01:25:16,277 --> 01:25:18,321
It's time
to follow their example.

2264
01:25:18,404 --> 01:25:19,447
It is time to...

2265
01:25:19,531 --> 01:25:20,532
(YELLING)

2266
01:25:20,615 --> 01:25:22,242
Let go of me!

2267
01:25:22,325 --> 01:25:24,869
(SCREAMING)

2268
01:25:24,953 --> 01:25:26,162
BULLARD:
Mr. President, are you okay?

2269
01:25:26,246 --> 01:25:28,414
I'm gonna get it off,
Mr. President.

2270
01:25:29,249 --> 01:25:30,583
HANDY: Ow!

2271
01:25:30,667 --> 01:25:32,043
COLE: Get it off me!

2272
01:25:32,126 --> 01:25:34,546
JIM:<i> So, Danny, you see</i>
<i>that debate last night?</i>

2273
01:25:34,629 --> 01:25:36,714
DANNY:<i> Did I?</i>
<i>Was anybody hurt?</i> What?

2274
01:25:36,798 --> 01:25:37,966
JIM:<i> Well, miraculously not,</i>
<i>apparently.</i>

2275
01:25:38,049 --> 01:25:39,384
<i>Only minor bruises</i>
<i>and abrasions.</i>

2276
01:25:39,467 --> 01:25:41,135
DANNY:
<i>Any idea what the heck</i> <i>happened back there?</i>

2277
01:25:41,219 --> 01:25:43,555
JIM:<i> Well, they're saying</i>
<i>it was a freak accident,</i> <i>little buddy.</i>

2278
01:25:43,638 --> 01:25:44,681
DANNY:<i> Yeah, very freaky.</i>

2279
01:25:44,764 --> 01:25:46,683
JIM:<i> Apparently,</i>
<i>the stage rigging just snapped</i>

2280
01:25:46,766 --> 01:25:49,435
<i>and fell on the candidates</i>
<i>while they were shaking hands.</i>

2281
01:25:49,519 --> 01:25:51,437
DANNY:<i> Wow. Well, you know</i>
<i>what we say...</i>

2282
01:25:51,521 --> 01:25:52,689
DANNY AND JIM:
<i>It's Mooseport.</i>

2283
01:25:52,772 --> 01:25:54,691
Polls open
in 20 minutes, Mr. President.

2284
01:25:54,774 --> 01:25:56,192
DANNY:
<i>How about a little music</i> <i>to vote by?</i>

2285
01:25:56,276 --> 01:25:57,193
JIM:<i> Good idea.</i>

2286
01:25:57,277 --> 01:25:58,319
(MEDIUM-TEMPO
ROCK INTRO PLAYS)

2287
01:25:58,403 --> 01:26:00,655
<i>♪ Why can't we be friends?</i>

2288
01:26:00,738 --> 01:26:03,533
<i>♪ Why can't we be friends?</i>

2289
01:26:03,616 --> 01:26:04,868
<i>♪ Why can't we be...</i>

2290
01:26:04,951 --> 01:26:05,994
MAN: Morning, sir.

2291
01:26:06,077 --> 01:26:07,161
WOMAN:
Morning, Mr. President.

2292
01:26:07,245 --> 01:26:09,289
<i>♪ Why can't we be friends?</i>

2293
01:26:09,372 --> 01:26:13,293
<i>♪ I'd kinda like</i>
<i>to be the president</i>

2294
01:26:13,376 --> 01:26:15,628
<i>♪ Oh, yeah... ♪</i>

2295
01:26:15,712 --> 01:26:18,965
Cloud, uh, pull
over here, will you?

2296
01:26:29,559 --> 01:26:30,977
How's your nose?

2297
01:26:33,271 --> 01:26:34,355
It's okay.

2298
01:26:34,439 --> 01:26:37,358
How's your lip
and your back?

2299
01:26:37,442 --> 01:26:40,904
It's just the lip
and, uh, it's fine.

2300
01:26:42,363 --> 01:26:45,116
Well, I just assumed
your back hurt,

2301
01:26:45,199 --> 01:26:48,536
'cause, you know,
Irma jumping on it.

2302
01:26:56,628 --> 01:27:01,090
Well... see you
at the poll.

2303
01:27:01,174 --> 01:27:02,342
You want to hit a few?

2304
01:27:04,260 --> 01:27:05,929
What, uh, just hit them
in the water?

2305
01:27:06,012 --> 01:27:08,181
Yeah. It's, uh...

2306
01:27:08,264 --> 01:27:10,433
Martha's into scuba
and in the spring,

2307
01:27:10,516 --> 01:27:13,811
she puts on a wet suit
and she goes and gets them.

2308
01:27:13,895 --> 01:27:17,398
Somehow or another I can't
picture Martha in a wet suit.

2309
01:27:17,482 --> 01:27:19,108
Yeah, well, you're lucky.

2310
01:27:19,192 --> 01:27:20,693
I can't not picture it.

2311
01:27:20,777 --> 01:27:22,153
(LAUGHS)

2312
01:27:22,237 --> 01:27:23,488
All right.

2313
01:27:32,872 --> 01:27:34,791
HANDY:
Oh! You topped, pulled

2314
01:27:34,874 --> 01:27:38,002
and hooked it all in one.

2315
01:27:38,086 --> 01:27:41,965
Here. Let me show you.
Mr. President, you've shaken a lot of hands.

2316
01:27:42,048 --> 01:27:43,049
You...

2317
01:27:44,926 --> 01:27:47,595
Shake hands
with the club. Like this?

2318
01:27:47,679 --> 01:27:50,515
Yes. Now, just
look at the ball

2319
01:27:50,598 --> 01:27:53,893
and picture like it's
the former First Lady.

2320
01:27:54,477 --> 01:27:55,937
Just whack it.

2321
01:27:58,481 --> 01:28:00,274
You bloodsucking vampire!

2322
01:28:00,358 --> 01:28:01,901
(YELLS)

2323
01:28:01,985 --> 01:28:03,319
HANDY:
Wow!

2324
01:28:03,403 --> 01:28:05,363
You two had issues.

2325
01:28:05,446 --> 01:28:07,365
Oh, Jesus.

2326
01:28:09,826 --> 01:28:11,369
So, uh...

2327
01:28:12,412 --> 01:28:14,330
How come you
didn't ask her?

2328
01:28:14,414 --> 01:28:15,415
Ask her what?

2329
01:28:15,498 --> 01:28:16,541
You know.

2330
01:28:17,417 --> 01:28:19,252
Oh. Oh...

2331
01:28:20,753 --> 01:28:22,839
I don't know.
I probably should've.

2332
01:28:24,632 --> 01:28:26,217
Scared, I guess.

2333
01:28:26,300 --> 01:28:28,970
Well, marriage
is a scary thing.

2334
01:28:29,053 --> 01:28:30,805
I'd be the first one
to tell you that.

2335
01:28:30,888 --> 01:28:36,102
But once in a while, there
comes along that special girl.

2336
01:28:36,185 --> 01:28:38,396
No, I mean, that's just it.

2337
01:28:38,479 --> 01:28:40,148
I mean, she is special.

2338
01:28:41,274 --> 01:28:48,156
I just figured eventually
she'll find somebody else.

2339
01:28:48,239 --> 01:28:49,532
And, you know,
you always...

2340
01:28:49,615 --> 01:28:53,453
you always hope
that next guy will be some loser...

2341
01:28:55,538 --> 01:28:56,748
not the president.

2342
01:29:01,544 --> 01:29:06,841
Handy, on the 16th hole
of our match, you laid up.

2343
01:29:06,924 --> 01:29:08,134
Yeah.
Yeah.

2344
01:29:08,217 --> 01:29:09,385
I remember, I did.

2345
01:29:09,469 --> 01:29:10,928
You played it safe.

2346
01:29:11,012 --> 01:29:12,638
So? You ended up
in the water.

2347
01:29:12,722 --> 01:29:16,017
I never would've
been president of the United States

2348
01:29:16,100 --> 01:29:17,727
if I'd have laid up.

2349
01:29:29,489 --> 01:29:32,033
Sometimes you just gotta
go for the green.

2350
01:29:35,286 --> 01:29:36,412
Let's go vote.

2351
01:29:41,167 --> 01:29:42,293
MORRIS: Out of the way!
Here he is!

2352
01:29:42,376 --> 01:29:43,377
Here he comes!
Out of the way!

2353
01:29:43,461 --> 01:29:44,587
MORRIS:
Hank, get them out of the way!

2354
01:29:44,670 --> 01:29:45,713
Hold 'em back!

2355
01:29:45,797 --> 01:29:47,673
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

2356
01:29:47,757 --> 01:29:49,175
Over here please,
Mr. President!

2357
01:29:51,552 --> 01:29:53,721
BULLARD:
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen...

2358
01:29:55,306 --> 01:29:57,266
No, no comments today.
There'll be no questions.

2359
01:29:57,350 --> 01:29:58,601
There'll be plenty of chances

2360
01:29:58,684 --> 01:30:00,478
to get some wonderful photos
as soon as he's ready.

2361
01:30:00,561 --> 01:30:01,771
REPORTER:
Please, one picture!

2362
01:30:01,854 --> 01:30:05,233
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

2363
01:30:06,567 --> 01:30:09,237
BULLARD: Right here,
the pageantry of...

2364
01:30:09,320 --> 01:30:11,405
of democracy at work.
That's why we...

2365
01:30:11,489 --> 01:30:13,741
(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

2366
01:30:15,326 --> 01:30:17,036
(CHUCKLES)

2367
01:30:17,120 --> 01:30:19,163
Once a politician...

2368
01:30:25,878 --> 01:30:28,131
Always a politician.

2369
01:30:28,214 --> 01:30:29,674
<i>It's ten minutes</i>
<i>past the hour,</i>

2370
01:30:29,757 --> 01:30:31,050
<i>and there are</i>
<i>20 minutes left</i>

2371
01:30:31,134 --> 01:30:34,011
<i>before the polls close</i>
<i>in Mooseport, Maine.</i>

2372
01:30:34,095 --> 01:30:35,513
<i>With the former</i>
<i>president's campaign</i>

2373
01:30:35,596 --> 01:30:38,850
<i>spending millions on TV,</i>
<i>radio and print advertising,</i>

2374
01:30:38,933 --> 01:30:42,562
<i>it's an amazing feat</i>
<i>that Handy Harrison's</i> <i>grassroots campaign</i>

2375
01:30:42,645 --> 01:30:44,355
<i>still has them</i>
<i>neck and neck...</i>

2376
01:30:44,438 --> 01:30:48,109
It was so beautiful.

2377
01:30:48,192 --> 01:30:51,529
(SOBBING)

2378
01:30:59,287 --> 01:31:00,288
Hello.

2379
01:31:01,747 --> 01:31:03,374
Spectacular, isn't it?

2380
01:31:03,457 --> 01:31:04,417
I was thinking about...

2381
01:31:04,500 --> 01:31:06,627
For once,
don't talk, please.

2382
01:31:06,711 --> 01:31:09,088
What?
Just listen. Okay?

2383
01:31:09,172 --> 01:31:10,423
Can you do that?

2384
01:31:12,884 --> 01:31:16,929
A long while back, my mom
asked me what I saw in you,

2385
01:31:17,013 --> 01:31:19,348
and you probably
find it hard to believe

2386
01:31:19,432 --> 01:31:22,727
that anybody could ask
such a thing, but she did.

2387
01:31:25,021 --> 01:31:28,357
I see a man I admire,
I told her.

2388
01:31:28,441 --> 01:31:33,154
A flawed man, certainly,
but a man with principles.

2389
01:31:34,530 --> 01:31:36,490
Since this Handy thing,

2390
01:31:37,783 --> 01:31:43,706
I've seen a man who only cares
about ego and power.

2391
01:31:43,789 --> 01:31:47,168
A man who will
stoop to anything

2392
01:31:47,251 --> 01:31:49,921
to win a position
he doesn't even want

2393
01:31:50,004 --> 01:31:53,257
from someone he probably
shouldn't even beat.

2394
01:31:53,341 --> 01:31:57,845
And... it angers me.
And it-it upsets me.

2395
01:31:57,929 --> 01:31:59,764
Oh, and mostly,
it just makes me sad.

2396
01:31:59,847 --> 01:32:00,890
Grace, look...

2397
01:32:00,973 --> 01:32:04,977
Because you used to be
better than that, Monroe.

2398
01:32:05,061 --> 01:32:06,729
You really were.

2399
01:32:17,198 --> 01:32:20,660
And that is no handshake,
you son of a bitch.

2400
01:32:30,211 --> 01:32:33,005
(WATER RUNNING)

2401
01:32:33,714 --> 01:32:34,924
Sugar, Mr. President?

2402
01:32:35,716 --> 01:32:37,426
Oh, uh...
three, please.

2403
01:32:37,510 --> 01:32:38,844
No, no, no.

2404
01:32:39,387 --> 01:32:40,388
One.

2405
01:32:40,471 --> 01:32:41,847
BULLARD:
Good morning, Mr. President.

2406
01:32:41,931 --> 01:32:43,099
Good morning.

2407
01:32:43,599 --> 01:32:44,600
Where's Grace?

2408
01:32:44,684 --> 01:32:45,810
I don't know, sir.

2409
01:32:45,893 --> 01:32:47,353
Could you find her, please?

2410
01:32:47,436 --> 01:32:48,813
Yes, sir.

2411
01:32:48,896 --> 01:32:50,147
Let's go.

2412
01:32:52,316 --> 01:32:54,318
Eagle, we gotta get moving.

2413
01:32:54,402 --> 01:32:56,946
They want you down in town
for the announcement.

2414
01:32:57,029 --> 01:32:58,322
Announcement?

2415
01:32:58,406 --> 01:33:00,074
I can't expose myself
to an announcement

2416
01:33:00,157 --> 01:33:02,576
without knowing who won.
They won't tell me, Eagle.

2417
01:33:02,660 --> 01:33:05,371
I've done everything
short of bribing them

2418
01:33:05,454 --> 01:33:07,790
with a year's supply of beer
and night-crawlers,

2419
01:33:07,873 --> 01:33:10,293
but I'll get down
there and work on it.

2420
01:33:10,376 --> 01:33:13,129
You get on that toga and get
down to that circus, Eagle.

2421
01:33:13,212 --> 01:33:14,338
Please, sir.

2422
01:33:17,091 --> 01:33:19,135
Sally, um...

2423
01:33:19,677 --> 01:33:20,720
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)

2424
01:33:20,803 --> 01:33:22,305
BOB:
Handy, you back here?

2425
01:33:24,098 --> 01:33:25,016
Uh, hey.

2426
01:33:25,099 --> 01:33:26,892
It's time, man.
Yeah, I know.

2427
01:33:26,976 --> 01:33:28,894
Come on. Don't you want
to find out if you won?

2428
01:33:28,978 --> 01:33:30,438
Or lost? Badly?

2429
01:33:30,521 --> 01:33:31,689
I'm gonna...
Yeah. Go ahead.

2430
01:33:31,772 --> 01:33:33,816
Nah, I'll wait for you.
I'm gonna meet you there.

2431
01:33:33,899 --> 01:33:34,984
I want to.
No, go.

2432
01:33:35,067 --> 01:33:36,110
You're my ride, man.

2433
01:33:36,193 --> 01:33:37,194
(SIGHS)
Come on!

2434
01:33:37,278 --> 01:33:39,196
Okay. All right.
Let's go.

2435
01:33:39,280 --> 01:33:42,533
(PLAYING PATRIOTIC MARCH)

2436
01:33:47,997 --> 01:33:50,916
FEMALE REPORTER:
In a few moments, former President Cole

2437
01:33:51,000 --> 01:33:53,127
and Harold "Handy" Harrison
are due to arrive.

2438
01:33:53,210 --> 01:33:55,796
Will big politics
and big money carry the day?

2439
01:33:55,880 --> 01:33:57,465
Or will the little man
prevail?

2440
01:33:57,548 --> 01:33:58,591
We shall soon see.
MORRIS:<i> Testing.</i>

2441
01:33:58,674 --> 01:33:59,800
<i>Testing. Testing.</i>

2442
01:33:59,884 --> 01:34:01,802
<i>Oh. Uh, we're just about</i>
<i>ready to start.</i>

2443
01:34:01,886 --> 01:34:04,930
<i>And, uh... I think I see</i>
<i>the president coming now!</i>

2444
01:34:05,556 --> 01:34:07,224
Woo-hoo!

2445
01:34:07,308 --> 01:34:09,060
(BAND PLAYING)

2446
01:34:09,143 --> 01:34:10,186
<i>And... Oh, there's Handy.</i>

2447
01:34:10,269 --> 01:34:11,520
(BARKING)

2448
01:34:11,604 --> 01:34:12,521
Hey.

2449
01:34:12,605 --> 01:34:14,607
Hey. Did you see Sally?
No.

2450
01:34:14,690 --> 01:34:17,151
When you see her,
just let me know, okay? Okay. Okay.

2451
01:34:17,234 --> 01:34:20,279
<i>Mr. President, Handy,</i>
<i>please come up here, okay?</i>

2452
01:34:20,363 --> 01:34:22,156
Sir, the yellow speech
is if you win.

2453
01:34:22,239 --> 01:34:25,242
Okay.
The blue one is if you, uh...

2454
01:34:26,619 --> 01:34:29,080
Should I get out
of your eye line, sir?

2455
01:34:29,914 --> 01:34:31,957
Ah, come on, Bullard.

2456
01:34:32,875 --> 01:34:33,918
Hey, how you doing?

2457
01:34:34,001 --> 01:34:34,960
How you doing?

2458
01:34:35,044 --> 01:34:38,881
(BAND CONTINUES PLAYING)

2459
01:34:45,846 --> 01:34:47,098
(WHISTLING)

2460
01:34:47,181 --> 01:34:48,391
MAN:
Handy, you're the man!

2461
01:34:48,474 --> 01:34:49,725
WOMAN:
We need you, Mr. President!

2462
01:34:49,809 --> 01:34:52,978
<i>In the 240-year history</i>
<i>of our fair Mooseport,</i>

2463
01:34:53,062 --> 01:34:56,982
<i>there has never been</i>
<i>a more exciting mayoral race.</i>

2464
01:34:57,066 --> 01:34:59,819
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

2465
01:34:59,902 --> 01:35:03,072
Mr. President.
Handy.

2466
01:35:03,155 --> 01:35:07,118
<i>My fellow citizens,</i>
<i>the new mayor</i> <i>of Mooseport is...</i>

2467
01:35:07,201 --> 01:35:10,621
(DRUMROLLS)

2468
01:35:10,704 --> 01:35:11,997
<i>Monroe Cole!</i>

2469
01:35:12,081 --> 01:35:16,919
(CHEERING)
(BAND PLAYS)

2470
01:35:18,879 --> 01:35:20,840
Congratulations.
Oh. Thank you.

2471
01:35:24,301 --> 01:35:25,636
<i>As I'm sure</i>
<i>you all know,</i>

2472
01:35:25,719 --> 01:35:28,681
<i>this was Mooseport's</i>
<i>largest election turnout ever.</i>

2473
01:35:28,764 --> 01:35:29,807
How big a margin?

2474
01:35:29,890 --> 01:35:31,016
Tight. Real tight.

2475
01:35:31,100 --> 01:35:33,018
But the win's the thing.

2476
01:35:33,102 --> 01:35:34,353
It was so close.

2477
01:35:34,437 --> 01:35:35,896
Well, that's something, right?

2478
01:35:35,980 --> 01:35:36,897
Yeah.
Yeah.

2479
01:35:36,981 --> 01:35:41,444
<i>In the end,</i>
<i>the president won by one vote!</i>

2480
01:35:41,527 --> 01:35:43,487
You won by one vote.
(CROWD MURMURING)

2481
01:35:43,571 --> 01:35:46,782
One vote? Oh, my God.

2482
01:35:46,866 --> 01:35:48,826
MORRIS:<i> It doesn't</i>
<i>get any closer.</i>

2483
01:35:48,909 --> 01:35:49,785
Wow.

2484
01:35:49,869 --> 01:35:51,620
MORRIS:
<i>Ladies and gentlemen...</i>

2485
01:35:51,704 --> 01:35:52,746
One vote.

2486
01:35:52,830 --> 01:35:55,708
<i>...the 23rd mayor</i>
<i>of Mooseport,</i>

2487
01:35:55,791 --> 01:35:58,169
<i>Monroe "Eagle" Cole!</i>

2488
01:35:58,252 --> 01:36:01,255
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

2489
01:36:01,338 --> 01:36:02,882
<i>Thank you, Morris.</i>

2490
01:36:04,759 --> 01:36:06,385
<i>Thank you, everybody.</i>

2491
01:36:07,386 --> 01:36:10,973
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>
<i>once again,</i>

2492
01:36:11,056 --> 01:36:16,520
<i>the great American</i>
<i>electoral process has...</i>

2493
01:36:17,980 --> 01:36:20,149
(SCATTERED MURMURING)

2494
01:36:24,737 --> 01:36:27,031
<i>Folks, you know,</i>

2495
01:36:27,907 --> 01:36:28,991
<i>a little while ago,</i>

2496
01:36:29,074 --> 01:36:31,660
<i>a person who has been</i>
<i>with me for years,</i>

2497
01:36:31,744 --> 01:36:34,830
<i>a person who I trust</i>
<i>like no one else,</i>

2498
01:36:34,914 --> 01:36:38,542
<i>reminded me</i>
<i>of my principles.</i>

2499
01:36:38,626 --> 01:36:40,127
<i>Shook some</i>
<i>sense into me.</i>

2500
01:36:40,211 --> 01:36:42,254
<i>So, I have</i>
<i>a confession to make.</i>

2501
01:36:42,338 --> 01:36:46,383
<i>I said that</i>
<i>I would vote</i> <i>for Handy.</i>

2502
01:36:46,467 --> 01:36:48,260
<i>I-I didn't.</i>

2503
01:36:48,344 --> 01:36:49,553
<i>I voted for myself.</i>

2504
01:36:49,637 --> 01:36:52,473
(DISAPPOINTED MURMURING)

2505
01:36:54,767 --> 01:36:58,521
<i>So my first act as mayor</i>
<i>is to turn the job over</i>

2506
01:36:58,604 --> 01:37:01,148
<i>to the rightful winner,</i>
<i>Handy Harrison.</i>

2507
01:37:01,232 --> 01:37:02,650
<i>Handy, come on over here.</i>

2508
01:37:02,733 --> 01:37:04,360
<i>Let's hear it for Handy.</i>

2509
01:37:04,443 --> 01:37:05,986
(CHEERING)
(GROWLING)

2510
01:37:08,447 --> 01:37:10,115
Whoo! All right!

2511
01:37:10,199 --> 01:37:11,450
Come on.

2512
01:37:12,243 --> 01:37:13,202
Yeah!

2513
01:37:13,285 --> 01:37:14,787
Mr. President... uh...

2514
01:37:14,870 --> 01:37:16,539
MAN:
Attaboy, Handy!

2515
01:37:16,622 --> 01:37:19,083
<i>Folks, I have</i>
<i>a confession</i> <i>to make, also.</i>

2516
01:37:19,166 --> 01:37:21,835
(COLE CHUCKLING)
(CROWD MURMURING)

2517
01:37:21,919 --> 01:37:23,921
(CHUCKLING)

2518
01:37:24,004 --> 01:37:25,714
<i>I voted for myself too.</i>

2519
01:37:25,798 --> 01:37:27,925
What?
(GASPING)

2520
01:37:28,008 --> 01:37:31,303
You won this thing fair
and square, Mr. President.

2521
01:37:31,387 --> 01:37:32,596
You...

2522
01:37:32,680 --> 01:37:35,641
<i>So my first act as mayor</i>
<i>is to turn the job back over</i>

2523
01:37:35,724 --> 01:37:38,978
<i>to the rightful winner,</i>
<i>Mr. Monroe Cole!</i>

2524
01:37:39,061 --> 01:37:41,897
(CHEERING)
Yeah! Yeah!

2525
01:37:41,981 --> 01:37:43,315
Hmm!

2526
01:37:44,817 --> 01:37:46,527
There's no beating you,
is there?

2527
01:37:48,070 --> 01:37:49,196
Not on this one, sir.

2528
01:37:50,906 --> 01:37:52,032
<i>All right, I accept.</i>

2529
01:37:52,116 --> 01:37:54,076
(CHEERING)

2530
01:37:54,159 --> 01:37:57,454
(BAND PLAYING MARCH)

2531
01:37:58,163 --> 01:37:59,540
No, he won.

2532
01:38:00,416 --> 01:38:01,375
Well, tell Harper Collins

2533
01:38:01,458 --> 01:38:03,294
Random House is back up
to 20 mil.

2534
01:38:03,377 --> 01:38:05,379
Hmm.
Yes, please do.

2535
01:38:06,672 --> 01:38:08,966
And tell them
to send me half.

2536
01:38:09,049 --> 01:38:11,677
See you in DC.
(CLICKS TONGUE)

2537
01:38:11,760 --> 01:38:13,095
(GASPS)

2538
01:38:14,805 --> 01:38:16,223
Huh?

2539
01:38:17,683 --> 01:38:19,143
Any sign of her?
Uh, yes, sir.

2540
01:38:19,226 --> 01:38:21,061
Agent Cloud found her, sir.
She's at the airport.

2541
01:38:21,145 --> 01:38:22,313
Airport?
Yes, sir.

2542
01:38:22,396 --> 01:38:23,897
Come on.
Let's get moving. You got it.

2543
01:38:26,275 --> 01:38:28,777
Look, Sally, uh...

2544
01:38:28,861 --> 01:38:30,779
I don't know... Uh...

2545
01:38:30,863 --> 01:38:32,448
Hey, Handy. Nice try.

2546
01:38:32,531 --> 01:38:33,657
Oh, thank you.
Thank you, Jackie.

2547
01:38:33,741 --> 01:38:36,076
Hi, Handy.
Hi, Sophie. Hi.

2548
01:38:39,455 --> 01:38:43,459
Look, Sally, how you doing?

2549
01:38:43,542 --> 01:38:44,585
Oh...

2550
01:38:44,668 --> 01:38:48,213
God, just-just do it.
Just do it.

2551
01:38:48,297 --> 01:38:49,590
(SHOUTING)
Hey, Handy!

2552
01:38:49,673 --> 01:38:51,175
I just saw what you did!
(METALLIC CLINKING)

2553
01:38:51,258 --> 01:38:52,468
Oh.
I couldn't believe it!

2554
01:38:52,551 --> 01:38:53,844
Thank you. Thank you,
Reuben. Yeah.

2555
01:38:53,927 --> 01:38:55,763
I voted for you!

2556
01:38:55,846 --> 01:38:56,972
Oh...
(YELLS)

2557
01:38:57,056 --> 01:38:59,016
Oh, well, well, you don't
even like me. Sorry.

2558
01:38:59,099 --> 01:39:02,519
(GRUNTS AND SIGHS)

2559
01:39:04,063 --> 01:39:06,231
Huh? What?

2560
01:39:06,315 --> 01:39:07,358
What?

2561
01:39:07,733 --> 01:39:08,817
Oh.

2562
01:39:08,901 --> 01:39:10,152
No!

2563
01:39:10,235 --> 01:39:11,153
No. No.

2564
01:39:11,236 --> 01:39:12,321
Please. Please. Please.

2565
01:39:12,404 --> 01:39:13,864
No!

2566
01:39:14,657 --> 01:39:15,783
(PANTING)

2567
01:39:15,866 --> 01:39:18,369
Oh... Nice!

2568
01:39:20,746 --> 01:39:22,498
(PROPELLERS BUZZING)

2569
01:39:24,583 --> 01:39:27,127
(CHATTERING)

2570
01:39:27,211 --> 01:39:28,462
Ladies and gentlemen,

2571
01:39:28,545 --> 01:39:33,050
Trans Capital Flight 27
to Dulles has been delayed.

2572
01:39:33,133 --> 01:39:34,426
(MURMURING)
Please bear with us,

2573
01:39:34,510 --> 01:39:36,845
and we'll let you know
as soon as we know.

2574
01:39:37,846 --> 01:39:38,847
Grace?

2575
01:39:40,307 --> 01:39:42,309
Grace.
Here, Mr. President.

2576
01:39:46,772 --> 01:39:47,815
What are you doing here?

2577
01:39:47,898 --> 01:39:50,234
I gave my notice,
remember?

2578
01:39:50,317 --> 01:39:51,652
Oh, Grace. Come back.

2579
01:39:51,735 --> 01:39:52,945
No.

2580
01:39:56,949 --> 01:39:57,908
No.

2581
01:39:57,991 --> 01:40:01,954
Grace... look at me.

2582
01:40:02,037 --> 01:40:03,497
Swear to God,
I'll never have more

2583
01:40:03,580 --> 01:40:05,374
than one sugar in my coffee
for the rest of my life,

2584
01:40:05,457 --> 01:40:06,500
if you'll have me.

2585
01:40:08,001 --> 01:40:09,503
And no salt.

2586
01:40:10,003 --> 01:40:11,338
(LAUGHS SOFTLY)

2587
01:40:11,422 --> 01:40:14,383
The former President
of the United States

2588
01:40:14,466 --> 01:40:16,051
is down on his knees.

2589
01:40:26,687 --> 01:40:28,772
And that's
no handshake, either.

2590
01:40:30,149 --> 01:40:32,443
I'll go down
on my knees again. Uh, no. No, no.

2591
01:40:33,777 --> 01:40:35,070
(SIGHS)

2592
01:40:35,154 --> 01:40:37,406
You certainly
took your time.

2593
01:40:37,489 --> 01:40:39,450
What if my plane
had left?

2594
01:40:39,533 --> 01:40:41,618
Oh, you haven't heard.

2595
01:40:41,702 --> 01:40:43,412
I'm the mayor now.

2596
01:40:45,581 --> 01:40:46,999
This is Cloud.
Clear the flight.

2597
01:40:47,082 --> 01:40:48,751
Turns out that I have
a little bit of pull

2598
01:40:48,834 --> 01:40:50,169
here at this airport now.

2599
01:40:51,044 --> 01:40:53,005
Flight 27 passengers,

2600
01:40:53,088 --> 01:40:55,966
we've now been cleared
for takeoff.

2601
01:40:56,049 --> 01:40:59,094
Congratulations,
Mr. President.

2602
01:40:59,178 --> 01:41:01,680
That would be,
"Congratulations,

2603
01:41:01,764 --> 01:41:03,307
"Mr. Mayor."

2604
01:41:03,390 --> 01:41:04,850
(LAUGHTER)

2605
01:41:04,933 --> 01:41:06,393
Congratulations,
Mr. Mayor.

2606
01:41:07,019 --> 01:41:07,936
Great.

2607
01:41:08,020 --> 01:41:09,146
Congratulations,
Mr. Mayor.

2608
01:41:09,229 --> 01:41:11,565
(CHUCKLING SOFTLY)

2609
01:41:11,648 --> 01:41:13,567
MAN: Congratulations,
Mr. Mayor.

2610
01:41:13,650 --> 01:41:14,818
Come on.

2611
01:41:14,902 --> 01:41:16,236
(GRUNTING)

2612
01:41:16,320 --> 01:41:19,448
(YELPING AND PANTING)

2613
01:41:19,531 --> 01:41:21,283
Are you doing the plumbing
for the whole town now?

2614
01:41:21,366 --> 01:41:22,409
(GROWLS)
(CHUCKLES)

2615
01:41:22,493 --> 01:41:23,911
No. I came to see you.

2616
01:41:23,994 --> 01:41:25,370
Through the drain?

2617
01:41:25,454 --> 01:41:27,706
Just... one second.

2618
01:41:27,790 --> 01:41:29,625
(GRUNTS)

2619
01:41:31,168 --> 01:41:32,753
Look, Sally,

2620
01:41:32,836 --> 01:41:33,712
I was...

2621
01:41:33,796 --> 01:41:35,756
I was gonna prepare
this whole speech.

2622
01:41:36,089 --> 01:41:37,090
What?

2623
01:41:42,095 --> 01:41:44,348
I was gonna prepare
this whole speech, okay?

2624
01:41:44,431 --> 01:41:45,474
But I think, you know,

2625
01:41:45,557 --> 01:41:47,935
it's better if I just say this
out of the moment.

2626
01:41:48,018 --> 01:41:49,019
All right.

2627
01:41:49,937 --> 01:41:51,688
The truth is,
you're beautiful.

2628
01:41:51,772 --> 01:41:54,900
And you're smart
and wonderful.

2629
01:41:55,234 --> 01:41:57,152
And...

2630
01:41:57,236 --> 01:42:00,155
And I'm not... I'm not.

2631
01:42:00,239 --> 01:42:01,156
Handy, I...

2632
01:42:01,240 --> 01:42:04,117
Hang on, 'cause I'm-I'm
in the moment now.

2633
01:42:04,201 --> 01:42:06,495
This whole thing,
it's-it's made me take

2634
01:42:06,578 --> 01:42:08,330
a-a pretty hard look
at myself.

2635
01:42:08,413 --> 01:42:12,125
And... I'm not smart,
and-and I'm not beautiful.

2636
01:42:12,209 --> 01:42:14,920
But... but hell, I just beat

2637
01:42:15,003 --> 01:42:17,548
the most popular president
in history.

2638
01:42:17,631 --> 01:42:20,717
So, maybe I'm okay.

2639
01:42:20,801 --> 01:42:25,013
Almost.
You almost beat him.

2640
01:42:25,097 --> 01:42:28,600
Sally, between me and you,
just our little secret,

2641
01:42:28,684 --> 01:42:30,185
I beat him.

2642
01:42:30,269 --> 01:42:31,520
I... do you think
I would of voted for myself

2643
01:42:31,603 --> 01:42:33,397
after I told
the whole town I wouldn't?

2644
01:42:35,107 --> 01:42:36,316
You gave it away?

2645
01:42:37,359 --> 01:42:38,235
Why?

2646
01:42:38,318 --> 01:42:41,780
Because-because he needs it.
I don't. I...

2647
01:42:45,617 --> 01:42:46,869
I only need you.

2648
01:42:48,620 --> 01:42:49,913
And that's...

2649
01:42:50,581 --> 01:42:52,124
that's my speech.

2650
01:42:53,250 --> 01:42:54,626
Oh, Handy.

2651
01:42:56,837 --> 01:42:58,505
Oh, hold on. I got...

2652
01:42:58,589 --> 01:43:00,048
I got you something.

2653
01:43:00,716 --> 01:43:02,134
Dirt?
No. It's...

2654
01:43:03,343 --> 01:43:04,511
It's-it's dirty, but...

2655
01:43:04,595 --> 01:43:05,596
Oh.

2656
01:43:07,180 --> 01:43:08,932
Look, I don't know
how you feel.

2657
01:43:17,649 --> 01:43:19,192
Is that a "yes" kiss?

2658
01:43:19,276 --> 01:43:20,611
Yes.

2659
01:43:22,738 --> 01:43:24,615
It's dirty now,
but it's-it's really...

2660
01:43:24,698 --> 01:43:26,325
It's beautiful.
It's beautiful.

2661
01:43:26,408 --> 01:43:28,076
It's, uh, big and...

2662
01:43:28,160 --> 01:43:30,537
That's not
just one diamond. There's diamonds on the side.

2663
01:43:30,621 --> 01:43:31,914
It's diamonds and mud.

2664
01:43:31,997 --> 01:43:33,540
Oh, did I say
in the speech...

2665
01:43:33,624 --> 01:43:36,960
I forgot the whole part
about how much I love you.

2666
01:43:37,044 --> 01:43:39,171
I didn't say it, but...
Yes, I didn't...

2667
01:43:39,254 --> 01:43:40,255
You know, there's no...

2668
01:43:40,339 --> 01:43:41,798
I didn't make a word thing
out of it,

2669
01:43:41,882 --> 01:43:44,593
but you can't even measure it.
It's like...

2670
01:43:44,676 --> 01:43:46,470
Like, if you take the sun...

2671
01:43:46,553 --> 01:43:49,139
You can take the heat
from that sun and you...

2672
01:43:49,222 --> 01:43:54,645
If you put all of that
in a love container, you...

2673
01:43:55,812 --> 01:43:56,897
Got it.
You get it?

2674
01:43:56,980 --> 01:43:57,981
(LAUGHING)
Yes.

2675
01:43:58,065 --> 01:44:00,609
But you said yes anyway.
So this is all extra.

2676
01:44:00,692 --> 01:44:02,569
It's like a bonus to it.
But it's... (WHISTLES)

2677
01:44:02,653 --> 01:44:04,988
My heart's beating fast.
Let's go.

2678
01:44:05,072 --> 01:44:06,239
Plunger, come on.

2679
01:44:06,323 --> 01:44:07,240
Come on.

2680
01:44:07,324 --> 01:44:09,368
How'd it get in the sewer?
Oh, that's...

2681
01:44:09,451 --> 01:44:10,827
You know, things
just happen to me.

2682
01:44:10,911 --> 01:44:11,954
Yeah.
(CHUCKLING)

2683
01:44:12,037 --> 01:44:14,790
Did I happen to notice
you're wearing a thong?

2684
01:44:14,873 --> 01:44:16,792
(GRUNTS)
Oh!

2685
01:44:16,875 --> 01:44:18,543
Oh, my God!

2686
01:44:18,627 --> 01:44:19,753
Are you okay?

2687
01:44:19,836 --> 01:44:21,338
Oh! You did it again.

2688
01:44:21,421 --> 01:44:23,298
I barely touched you.

2689
01:44:23,382 --> 01:44:26,218
Okay, look, you know,
if this marriage is gonna work,

2690
01:44:26,301 --> 01:44:28,762
you're gonna have to realize
how strong you are, okay?

2691
01:44:28,845 --> 01:44:30,055
You are...
You're stronger than me.

2692
01:44:30,138 --> 01:44:31,098
Just accept it.

2693
01:44:31,181 --> 01:44:32,182
I'm not stronger than you.

2694
01:44:32,265 --> 01:44:33,433
Yes, you are.
I'm a girl.

2695
01:44:33,517 --> 01:44:36,228
That's right. So, it hurts
physically and emotionally.

2696
01:44:36,311 --> 01:44:37,646
Come on, boys.
Oh!

2697
01:44:37,729 --> 01:44:39,648
Ooh, what about this?

2698
01:44:39,731 --> 01:44:40,732
Bow on my head.

2699
01:44:40,816 --> 01:44:42,985
A bow on your...
In white, I would buy it.

2700
01:44:43,068 --> 01:44:44,528
No, I'm serious.
I like that neckline.

2701
01:44:44,611 --> 01:44:46,238
A white bow.
Excuse me, ladies.

2702
01:44:46,321 --> 01:44:47,280
(DOOR SHUTS)

2703
01:44:47,364 --> 01:44:48,448
Uh, is Handy around?

2704
01:44:48,532 --> 01:44:52,327
Handy? You've got company.

2705
01:44:54,663 --> 01:44:57,124
Hey. How you doing?

2706
01:44:57,207 --> 01:44:58,917
Congratulations, Handy.

2707
01:44:59,001 --> 01:45:02,546
You almost beat
the most popular president in history.

2708
01:45:02,629 --> 01:45:05,048
Oh, well, thank you.
No hard feelings, right?

2709
01:45:05,132 --> 01:45:06,216
Are you kidding?

2710
01:45:06,299 --> 01:45:07,676
Let me cut to the chase.

2711
01:45:07,759 --> 01:45:10,262
What are you doing
in about two years?

2712
01:45:10,345 --> 01:45:11,304
What do you mean?

2713
01:45:11,388 --> 01:45:14,057
How does "Governor
Harrison" sound to you?

2714
01:45:14,141 --> 01:45:16,601
Governor? Well...

2715
01:45:16,685 --> 01:45:17,728
(STAMMERS)

2716
01:45:17,811 --> 01:45:19,771
Yeah, no. Thank you.

2717
01:45:19,855 --> 01:45:21,857
We've got a real
possibility here.

2718
01:45:21,940 --> 01:45:23,692
I... Listen,
thank you very much.

2719
01:45:23,775 --> 01:45:25,402
I appreciate that
you're thinking about me

2720
01:45:25,485 --> 01:45:27,696
and everything, but, um,

2721
01:45:27,779 --> 01:45:30,365
I-I'm kind of happy
right where I am.

2722
01:45:30,449 --> 01:45:32,492
Well, I'll respect that.

2723
01:45:32,576 --> 01:45:33,577
Okay.

2724
01:45:34,536 --> 01:45:35,787
Have a good day.

2725
01:45:38,957 --> 01:45:40,751
Hey, uh, hold on
one second.

2726
01:45:41,710 --> 01:45:43,670
Let me just ask you.

2727
01:45:43,754 --> 01:45:47,799
Can a governor kind of tell
a mayor what to do?

2728
01:45:47,883 --> 01:45:51,386
(ROCK BEAT PLAYS)
Oh, yeah.

2729
01:45:54,097 --> 01:45:55,932
Ow! What?

2730
01:45:56,016 --> 01:45:58,101
<i>♪ I may be</i>
<i>the mayor of Simpleton</i>

2731
01:45:58,185 --> 01:46:04,649
<i>♪ But I know one thing</i>
<i>and that's I love you</i>

2732
01:46:04,733 --> 01:46:08,528
<i>♪ When their logic grows cold</i>
<i>and all thinking is done</i>

2733
01:46:08,612 --> 01:46:14,034
<i>♪ You'll be warm in the arms</i>
<i>of the mayor of Simpleton</i>

2734
01:46:18,371 --> 01:46:22,417
<i>♪ I guess I wasn't around</i>
<i>when brains were handed out</i>

2735
01:46:22,501 --> 01:46:25,462
<i>♪ Please be upstanding</i>
<i>for the mayor of Simpleton</i>

2736
01:46:25,545 --> 01:46:29,174
<i>♪ Or get past the cover</i>
<i>of your books profound</i>

2737
01:46:29,257 --> 01:46:32,177
<i>♪ Please be upstanding</i>
<i>for the mayor of Simpleton</i>

2738
01:46:32,260 --> 01:46:35,972
<i>♪ And some of your friends</i>
<i>think it's really unsound</i>

2739
01:46:36,056 --> 01:46:38,975
<i>♪ That you're even seen</i>
<i>talking to me</i>

2740
01:46:39,059 --> 01:46:42,521
♪ Well, I don't know
how to write a big-hit song

2741
01:46:42,604 --> 01:46:46,274
<i>♪ And all crossword puzzles</i>
<i>well, I just shun</i>

2742
01:46:46,358 --> 01:46:49,611
<i>♪ I may be</i>
<i>the mayor of Simpleton</i>

2743
01:46:49,694 --> 01:46:56,034
<i>♪ But I know one thing</i>
<i>and that's I love you</i>

2744
01:46:56,118 --> 01:46:59,955
<i>♪ I'm not proud of the fact</i>
<i>that I never learned much</i>

2745
01:47:00,038 --> 01:47:03,125
<i>♪ Just feel I should say</i>

2746
01:47:03,208 --> 01:47:06,628
<i>♪ What you get is all real</i>
<i>I can't put on an act</i>

2747
01:47:06,711 --> 01:47:11,633
♪ It takes brains to do that
anyway, anyway, anyway

2748
01:47:11,716 --> 01:47:15,262
<i>♪ And I can't unravel riddles</i>
<i>problems and puns</i>

2749
01:47:15,345 --> 01:47:18,974
<i>♪ And my home computer</i>
<i>has me on the run</i>

2750
01:47:19,057 --> 01:47:22,310
<i>♪ I may be</i>
<i>the mayor of Simpleton</i>

2751
01:47:22,394 --> 01:47:28,650
<i>♪ But I know one thing</i>
<i>and that's I love you</i>

2752
01:47:28,733 --> 01:47:35,657
<i>♪ You'll be warm in the arms</i>
<i>of the mayor</i>

2753
01:47:41,204 --> 01:47:45,709
<i>♪ Please be upstanding</i>
<i>for the mayor of Simpleton</i>

2754
01:47:48,044 --> 01:47:52,257
<i>♪ Please be upstanding</i>
<i>for the mayor of Simpleton ♪</i>

2755
01:47:52,340 --> 01:47:57,220
(ORCHESTRA PLAYS
GENTLE MELODY)